360 video:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Well this was the dancefloor. Everyone here is really old and I’m feeling very out of place. Two older women like our basic dancing. The other guys questioned what we were doing here.

The DJ looked about 40 or 50, and was playing a lot of retro songs.

Left out of boredom and shame.

In front of a brave Karaokeist @ The Harp of Erin, Wollongong

We have decided to spend a day in Wollongong to see the wildlife at night. We have been recommended by the locals to check out The Harp for pre-drinks, so here we go!

Saturdays @ The Harp of Erin Hotel, Wollongong NSW
Assessment Time: 22:15PM -23:30PM
Opening Hours: Unknown, but it is a bar, so typical bar hours, which would be 10am – 3am.
Website: http://www.harpoferin.com.au
Address: 124 Corrimal St, Wollongong NSW
Dress Code / Door Policy: Anything goes. it is a bar, so most casual clothes can get away with it. Hats are not allowed in here.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free entry for both the bar karaoke area as well as the dancefloor area.
Inside: Walking into the main entrance you are presented with the main room where there is a karaoke thing going on. Get up and sing! they say. The standing area holds 150 or so people, and there is a stage on the right, where you stand up to sing, or where a band can play. Bar is to the left. A wall divides this area from the second area – The second area has a central bar, surrounded by tables and stools. On one side is an enclosed area which is the dancefloor, and it is sligly elevated from the rest of the room. It holds about 60 or so people .
Cloak Room: None
Bar: Standard beer prices
Music: House music in the dance room. Typical bar karaoke music in the karaoke room. The types of music you will be subjected to range from rock to retro.
Crowd: Mostly locals, some sydneysiders – with most being caucasian.
Entertainment: Karaoke of course! But only in the karaoke room.
Atmosphere: Karaoke room – busy the whole time we were there. In the clubbing room, the general atmosphere in the bar was busy, but not packed. A good balance to allow us a bit of room to dance.
Video:360 view of the Karaoke Bar Side

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

To top it off, he even bought us drinks, though I didn’t really want to drink. I had to accept his gracious offer. Too friendly they are here.

With the friendly local giant

Taking over the floor quite quickly
We move to the other side ot the Harp, where the dancefloor is. The crowd on the floor are young white people – people who, are safe to assume, cannot dance. We stepped up and pretty much took over in a matter of moments. Taking over meaning a small area is reserved for us to dance and we have some people staring at us dance. Cheers from the crowd, we dance but we have other clubs to visit, so we have to leave.

Karaoke!
I must confess I have never done bar karaoke in front of a crowd. Well, we were in Wollongong – its just us boys, so who is going to care, right? I submitted a song of choice – “Pretty Fly (for a white guy)” by The Offspring. Well, after a good one hour, our song has not been put up yet, and we have to go. Booo! Maybe next time.

Arrivederci
Left because we had other clubs to hit, and this was just a bar for predrinks. Next destination is The Ivory.

Recommendation
If you are just here for the dancing floor component, it is not the best out there, but it isn’t crap. However it is surprisingly busy for a venue at this time before 11pm, so The Harp gets a 8.0 for the Karaoke side (purely in terms of atmosphere and not dancing – nobody was dancing here but everybody was singing), and a 5.5/10 for the Dancefloor side – if only the dancefloor area was bigger. It’s free entry so there isn’t harm in coming here first for pre-drinks

Outside line at The Retro Hotel Sydney

Saturdays @ The Retro Bristol Arms Hotel

Assessment Time: Midnight – 1am
Website: http://www.theretro.com.au
Address: 66 Sussex st Sydney ?
Dress Code: Anything goes. Every weekend is a theme night.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free if you are dressed in theme. Otherwise it’s $20 (or $25)
Guestlist: guestlist@theretro.com.au
Inside: 3 levels of dance. Contemporary at the bottom, Retro in the middle, and old school rnb at th etop. We were only on the rnb floor most of the night so there wasn’t much to review about.
Cloak Room: None
Music: Dance and rnb, Retro from the 90s, 80s and early 2000s
Crowd: 20′s and 30′s crowd
Atmosphere: Most saturdays they have themed nights where people come in dressed up, and it adds to the atmosphere. Atmosphere is pretty party vibe like, and the nostalgic music gets you going.
360 video: This is of the top level.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline
We weren’t here very long. Most of the time I was just looking for people to take random photos with:

It got pretty hot and stuffy on the top level, and we ended up drinking loads of water

Oh, and here’s the koala doing a dance:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Saturdays @ The Retro Bristol Arms Hotel – 8.0/10

About Home Nightclub:
Location: Cockle Bay wharf, Darling Habour
Website: http://www.homesydney.com
Inside: All rooms except the mid-wall room was open. Main room on the floor, with upstairs balcony area and 2nd bar. Outdoor smoking area connected to this. A 2nd smaller room on the 2nd level. 3rd level are 2 extra rooms. This place is a maze of rooms.

About Homemade Saturdays:
Assessment Time: 1.30am-3.30am
Dress Code: Casual ok. I was wearing my tuxedo from the wedding. You also get fingerprinted and photo scanned on the way in.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $25
Guestlist: See website
Cloakroom: Yes, at the bar near at the DJ eng.
Bar: $12 yaberbombs.
Music: House in the main room. Can’t complain, all the commercial house tunes were being played. Actually it was executed quite well here. There was also a saxophone player to add another dimension to the music – much like the Bongo players at Bungalow  and Cargo Bar.

Supporting saxaphone player used to great effect with the music

RNB room – RNB of course – but I wasn’t there long enough.

Party tunes and retro at the top level. They seemed to have combined all the rooms into one major huge event.
Crowd: Mixed – Asians, Euros
Atmosphere: Party and vibing in the main room. However the other rooms seemed pretty dead. Especially the RNB room as nobody was there – it was the most dead room of them all. There were a hundred other places where you could have your proper rnb fix – and Home Nightclub doesn’t seem to be popular right now as the place to be for it.

360 from the main podium

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline:
Kicked off the podium by the sexist DJ
There are girls up at the front dancing. Drunk old me wants a dance too! I went up and danced for a good 50 seconds. Then I hear a:

DJ: “OI!”
James: (turns around)
DJ: “GET OFF THE STAGE – NOW!!!”
James: (jumps off stage)

Man.. what a cold DJ. Given, he probably has a lot of drunk guys coming up onto his stage, but fuck you anyway Mr DJ, even if you played really good beats. A minute later I have my female friend go up and dance, and there was no objections. Total sexism!!!

Recognized by girls I took a photo with 2 months ago
There are other girls up on stage. I am a pervert and I take photos of them. They see me and they recognize me:
Girls: ‘OMG! It’s you! You’re the sailor!!’

There was only one time previously I dressed up as a sailor – at an rnb Pajama Party 3 months ago, full of asians. But I did take a photo with 2 euro girls…

With 2 girls and Samurai man at the Pajama party

Ahh.. now I remember them! We take another photo. How on earth does someone recognize an Asian, from the million other Asians in sydney? I don’t know.. I thought we all looked the same !

The girls recognized me 3 months later. Amazing!

Though not as epic as the girl who recognized me 20 months later.. its rare that these things happen, and when they do happen, I never forget them.

Why I only danced in the main room:
The main room was where it was at. Huge elevated podium at the back, and lots of people. I took a break to see the other rooms. RNB room was so dead it wasn’t funny. Upstairs there was another house room, but it was an absolute sausage fest – no way I was going to dance in there.

The other retro room was dead as well. What WAS with Home lately, and why was it so dead?? Whatever happened to the days when Famous was here and it was totally packed? A shame as well nobody here liked the RNB room. The DJ mustv’e been suffering real bad.

RNB Room - Homemade Saturdays at Home Nightclub - oh its so dead

Swapping photo shots:
I looked up and some drunk idiots were waving down. I waved back. They waved even harder back at me. I took out my camera and took a photo of them. They took theirs out and took a photo of me. Pretty funny.

Randoms who took a photo of me. I took one back.

Coda
We left from exhaustion and hunger

Recommendation
You can spend $25 at a better spot for house – such as chinese laundry. I can’t recommend this place as somewher worth visiting unless you just hang around in the main room.. A shame, as last time I came here (when only half the rooms were open) it wasn’t too bad at all. Now that all rooms are open, people are more spread out.. and it gives a more sucky vibe. Hopefully in the future it would pick up.

Ly and I are visitng the Gold Coast. We just left The Bedroom nightclub, and we are following girls, being the single men that we are. Somehow, we ended up outside Melbas..  so here we go!

Melbas Nightclub

Assessment Time: 02:40am-04:30am
Website: http://www.melbas.com.au
Address: 46 Cavill Avenue, Surfers Paradise QLD
Door Policy / Dress Code: Casual OK
Cover Charge / Entry Fee: $10. Free if a guestlist was organised
Guestlist: Email info@melbas.com.au
Inside: Two levels. Ground has lengthy bar in the middle. Stools / tables everywhere. An outdoor seating area. Out the back is a dancefloor. Upstairs is more cosy. VIP area at back for private functions (?), 3 large podiums at the front dance area. 2 Poles to dance with. I can’t think of any place in Sydney that has poles! (The retro might have some but I can’t recall). Long bar on the side wall
Bar: Short to no lines, thanks to the huge bar. Pricing unknown as we scored free drinks all night.
Music: Downstairs is Retro / Classic music, while upstairs is primarily house but the occasional rnb/pop mashup as well.
Crowd: Dominantly White Aussie. I think me and Ly were the only asians here. No problem, as everyone was friendly here. People of all ages were about. It does remind me of The Retro Bristol Arms back in Sydney, but it seemed cooler here.

Melbas Nightclub - Upper Level

Video Tour:
Right after we got inside. Ground level and moving upstairs:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline:

Bypassing the Entry Fee:
Girl: “$10″.
That was enough for me and Ly to not enter Melbas. It was almost 3am already. We walked out and bumped into a man:
Man: “Hey, do you want free entry into Melbas?”
Us: “sure!”
Man: “Here, put these on”
He gave us a MELBAS wristband each, and an extra two just because he didn’t need them. Surely there was a catch…
Man: “There’s no catch. Go upstairs and these wristbands will give you access to the bar tab all night”

SOMETHING IS WRONG, but how could we refuse so many free things? Walked up to the same girl, but this time we showed her our new wristbands
Girl: “Oh that’s strange…
Me: (gulps)
Girl: “… you haven’t got stamps! Let me stamp you”.

Wow. So we got stamped in for free!

Trying to get free drinks with our wristbands of power
We had our new power wristbands. So we marched upstairs to the bar and ordered some drinks.
Girl: “That’ll be $20″
So we waved her our wristbands
Girl: “Ill have to check with the manager”

She walked to the manager. He looked at us, and we madly shook our wristbands. We have the wristbands of power damnit!!
Manager nods his head.
Girl: “Manager says ok”
Yes! We had access to the bar tab!! So we plied ourselves with free drinks all night, thanks to a stranger on the street. What a nice place.

The VERY FIRST video of me dancing!
Dear Reader – if you have not danced with me yet, then you are about to see something spectacular – witness me dancing at a club, in the comfort of the internet!! I suppose it is about time a video was made of me.

Watch as I pick up two girls through the sheer power of DANCE:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Ok, ok…  so that was pretty embarrassing. Though, dancing with me is an HONOUR, why don’t girls understand this?

Perhaps trying to dance with girls at 4am doesn’t come on as sleazy enough.

Bride to bes and her fetish
Pretty much the first girls to dance with us were a bride to be and her friends. Bride was fun, but her friends didn’t want to really dance with us. No love. I am looking through the photos, and she is holding her penis in every photo. Was this supposed to be a sign? I found it bizarrely funny:

Melbas Nightclub Gold Coast - With the bride and her favourite toy. She is also holding a penis thing.

Downstairs - pretty dead at 4am
We went downstairs as upstairs was dying. It was more dead down here though. Probably 10 people were left. All the guys were vulturing on the 2 or 3 women left. Sad, sad, sad.

We danced romantically to the song “and …I had, the time of my life…” to the entertainment of the bar staff, then we left.

Coda
Through sheer exhaustion we left at 4.30am to go to the beach. The place upstairs was still busy. I’m not sure what this place is like at peak hour, but I would assume it is very packed – I would recommend this place for the older crowd who like their retro and house, while still being able to get away from the 18 year olds.

She said she could have listed at least 4 other places where the birthday girl could have celebrated her 40th. She refused to tell me though, but she hinted at one place where you have dinner and later a DJ comes out and plays some party tunes (somewhere in the Cross), but other than that, she didn’t give me any names.

WHERE ARE THESE OTHER PLACES???

Pavillion – Two girls in the front, 4 on the side, and indian guys for the rest of the people on here. DJ was playing west coast rap. My favourite anthems were being played (Dr Dre,  Snoop Dogg, etc). A crazy indian was dance-cracking onto the two girls in the front. He was out there, just shaking his body loose. I wondered where my energy was tonight. I think I get intimidated by other good dancers in a desolate setting.

Shark Bar/Hotel – I walked in and there was nobody on the floor. I was about to leave, but they started to play “Push it” by Salt N Pepa. I love this song so I *had* to get up there. So I jumped up and did a little boogie to the song, to the amusement of everybody staring at the elevated dancefloor in the middle. Everyone who looked at me I looked back, and they would stare away. A group of people at the very back took a photo of me and waved hi. The song ended and I ran off.

Spectrum – My usual friends had gone home, so I met up with the French backpackers for some dance. We checked out Spectrum first. Free entry. House. We went upstairs and it was *dead* as. A handful of people dancing, a handful of people sitting down, a small room, and that was it. I don’t think this was meant to be a place for clubbing. Reminded me like an oxford st version of Manning Bar at USYD. I can’t imagine that place being a place for clubbing. We left quite quickly.

We then stumbled upon Oxford Art Factory and settled in..

After Work Art Fridays @ The Oxford Art Factory (Art After Dark) (29th May 2009)

Note: This review is primarily for the ‘Art After Dark’ Room’, and not the ‘Live Art Space’ where a cover charge applied.

About Oxford Art Factory (assessment time 1.30am)
Address: 38-46 Oxford St, Darlinghurst
The Bar: Jugs of beers and cocktails offered for a reasonable price.
Website: http://www.oxfordartfactory.com
Inside: Walking downstairs, there are two rooms:

Live Art Space: Carpeted area with central wooden dancefloor, with DJ up on stage. At the back is an elevated area where more lounges exist. It was mostly dancefloor space.

Live Art Space - Oxford Art Factory (image oxfordartfactory.com)

Art After Dark: (where we were) A further flight of stairs down takes you to this room. It’s pretty small, holding about 100 people max. A bar as well here. The room has a high ceiling length, and a big TV on one end of the wall. It’s been painted white, which is different. Tonight there were only lounges along the wall, and not sticking out as in the picture.

Art After Dark Bar - Oxford Art Factory - This is where we hung out (image oxfordartfactory.com)

About After Work Art Fridays: (assessment time 1.30am)
Entry Fee/Cover Charge: Free for the Art After Dark Bar, $15 for the DJ in the Live Art Space Room tonight. After 3am it was free for all.
Crowd / Dress Code: Artsy types. People in their 20′s and 30′s. Lots of hats around. Anything goes.
Atmosphere: I was expecting not many people to be here, so guess how surprised I was when I saw the whole room packed! Well, it was 1.30am, and it was a small area, but usually at an average to bad venue, 1.30am is when people start going home. So overall it was a good sign.
Music: Art After Dark Bar – Earlier in the evening there were live bands playing, but we missed that. So when we arrived, the band area was cleared and there was a DJ playing a mix of music across pop, rnb, retro and rock. Basically a bit of everything, and each upcoming song would be of a different genre. Somehow though the crowd was fully right into every song being played.

Live Art Space – DJ Sega (USA) was the main act playing tonight, (Indie). I didn’t get to check him out. Later another DJ was playing around 3am, with some dubstep beats, and another artist came up for some raps where I could practise some krumpin on the very open dance floor. The crowd here were all the hardcore types left, so everybody was into it.

Timeline

Not much dance room
Because of the TINY amount of room and the way in which the room was designed, our group of 8 people basically took up the middle section of the floor area. This meant every person walking in and out to the toilets or the bar had to go through our circle or around us. So basically the entire time our circle would be interrupted and I was, at least, constantly shuffling back and forth, with people hitting into us and spilling some beer onto each of us. Also because of the room, there weren’t many other large circles.. usually a max of 4 people would be per circle. Also I couldn’t pull off any crazy antic dance moves!! It was really cramped, but not shoulder to shoulder, I had about 20cm of room around me.

Boobs! (So your loyalty to this blog has paid off)
The screen in this room was playing some movie from the 80′s (You could tell by the hairstyles – it could have been the 70s). When we got in, there was a zoom in of a woman’s boobs, and someone was fondling them, just to test out to see how bouncy they were. A minute later, a couple are having a cigarette on the sofa, while the woman, still topless,  starts dancing behind them!!  It was the most bizarre film clip, but she was a pretty good dancer with her arm movements. Her boobs stayed bouncy throughout the dance routine.

I look up a few moments later and I see a naked man lying on bed, his bum crack towards the camera. gross. Back to dancing. Look up again after another few minutes, and there’s a young man and her partner – and guess what she’s doing – SHE’S TYING A CLOTH AROUND HIS DICK LIKE A BOWTIE!! What the hell! What kinda stuff is this??? He then stands up , with this cloth dangling from his dick, and he stands behind the bedpost. That was all. So bizarre!

It wasn’t surprising that there were couples making out everywhere in the room.

I wore casual. I am rewarded with solo dancing.
We mostly stayed within our circle through the night. A friend dances around with his bald head and basically gets all the attention! Damn. I had nothing. No wig, no hat, just my shirt, jeans and dodgy sneakers – I was very casual and  quite content just dancing it out on my own. Everyone else was dressed their own style. Crazy hairdos, different fashion styles.. half the crowd wearing hats – it would have been quite difficult to attract attention. Only later in the night near closing time, the music became..  I don’t know.. I wasn’t too into it anymore and wanted to just dance it out in the other room.

Coda
We all get kicked out of the Live Art room around 4am. Music was still going in the Art After Dark Bar but nobody was dancing. We were all buggered and left, quite happy with this  place. I liked this place and would recommend it if you like all sorts of music, don’t mind crowded packed small  bars, and mingling it up with the artsy types. You know who you are.

Pumphouse
Location: 17 Little Pier St, Darling Harbour
Website: http://www.pumphouse.com.au

Inside: 2 floors. Top floor was just a gallery / patio section to allow viewing of activities downstairs, and to relax. IT gave the whole place a hall-like feel. Bottom floor was a medium sized floor which could hold probably 70 or so people. Lounges in the back, and two podiums in the middle.

Event:  Static
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Discount on guestlist before midnight, $25 otherwise.
Opening: 10pm-4am
Attire / Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual accepted. Hats accepted. I got in past the bouncers without hassle.
Crowd: Asian
Music: RNB / Hip Hop / House (I didn’t hear any)
Typical tunes were more on the hip hop side – i.e. none of that slow slow rnb stuff. It was all pumping, it was all good.
Atmosphere: People were dancing, jumping, and people were sitting. I suppose if you were sitting down you wouldn’t have had a good time. There weren’t that many people (its a small place), nethertheless the energy was definitely there.

Timeline
I was at the register. The people in front were guestlisted and when it got to me “SORRY! Guestlist has ended!”. It was midnight Arghh nooo if only I got here earlier!! Shame on me for playing two extra Guitar Hero songs before I got here. I grudgingly handed out the $25, knowing i wouldn’t be here long..

Bopping with a lifelong friend
I found the birthday boy.  We’ve known each other since I was born. This was the first night we’ve hit a club together. So the whole time, he’s got his arm around me so tight.. so happy to see me. Likewise, it was good to see him too! There wasn’t much room to manouvre around, so basically we stood there, screaming out various ‘yeahs!’ and ‘woos!’ to the music, while I had my finger poking the sky. It was a simple affair. However, didn’t get the chance to waltz around and dance / meet others.

Podium dancers – MEN!
I like my podium dancers, and I ilke my podiums – but at this event, they had TWO GUYS as dancers!! They seemed to enjoy themselves. They were doing the hip hop thing. It was something different, but we all prefer scantily clad chicks, don’t we? I wonder if I could apply for a spot, and show off my average dance moves.

Coda (12:40am)
I was inside for a total of 40 minutes. That’s a rate of $37.50/hr to dance. *dies*. It wasn’t so bad with my friend around. I head down to Brooklyn for my next stop.

I am would only recommend this place unless you love your hip hop/rnb, your dancing.. and only if you go with friends.

Brooklyn Hotel Timeline
Music: Rnb, tribal house
Atmosphere: mixed natios.

It was Saturday, an as far as I remember it was packed when I got in. A good mix of guys and girls at the moment, but also a few blimps. Nothing wrong with that either.I had a wig on, and that pretty much got me grinding with 2 random girls within half a minute, which is pretty crazy.

Groping that worked -.-
The Frenchies look at me in amazement as I struggle to think about how on earth do I handle two attractive women in their 30′s grinding on each of my legs. LOL. So while I have these two women on my legs, I felt like I’d try something out – I reached out and just groped their butts at the same time – and I met no resistance!! LOL again. I was absolutely expecting some reaction from at least one of the girls – but nothing! That was when I was in trouble. Must be a cougar thing. I didn’t know what to do next. Do I keep groping? No. Should I go for the boobs? no, that’s inappropriate. I wanted a mentor right now! I realised one of them was married (she had the ring on) and so I really was just dance fodder. That’s a shame.

Dance chasing a girl around
Two hot girls come to proximity with Liberty and I. What do two guys do? We just went up.. and tried to freak them out with a bit of GRINDING!!! But you know what – they just stood there looking at each other smiling – this was NOT how its supposed to be. They were suppoesd to look at each other – the “omg lets get out of here” look and walk away. They stand there .. and compliment my wig -.- Damn wigs.

Second time round it worked, I tip toed towards the other girl who complimented the wig, and she would step away for every step I came close – it got to the point where I was following her around in a big circle.. it was obvious she was avoiding any form of grinding that night, but I thought it was funny following her around. Does this form of action make me a creep? What if creeps were good looking? Would they still be treated like creeps?

Slutting around with everyone, except I get rejected by big girls
Libert and I by the end of the night, were on a natural high – we were slutting around with anybody and just generally dancing with any girl around, and surprisingly only the big Samoan girls refused a bit of grinding. I don’t even know why.

We save some Irish folk
We slut-danced with some irish girls, and they happily danced back – later they told us there were two real creeps trying to pick them up, and when we came along, they were more than happy to dance with us instead of trying to fend off these guys.  We on the other hand seemed to be having fun and enjoying the night in general.

Coda

We left at closing time 4.30am – very happy with our night of dance antics.

Don’t go here if you don’t want to be groped or slut danced with by me.  Oh wait, that applies to *any* club. Otherwise a good place to go if the crowd is right.

Cargo Bar
Event: Cool Runnings (based off the movie of Jamaican bobsledders)
Music: Reggae / RNB / House
Crowd: Mixed
Dress Code: Smart Casual
Cover Charge / Entry Fee: Guestlist only for Cool Runnings, free for downstairs general access
Occurence: Once off
Atmosphere: Fun

Timeline Upstairs
Almost rejected at the door.. what’s my name again?
A friend submitted a guestlist. So I walked up..
Cargo: Name on guestlist?
Me: Archimedes, under ______
Cargo: Archimedes… Last name?
Me: _______
Cargo: *flicks through* Oh do you want to be a Aristotle, or a Archipelago?

Me: lol, no?
Cargo: ..because your name is not here. (oh) Are you alone?
Me: Yes
Cargo: Alright, we’ll let you in, just show us your ID.
Me: (In the most casual of manners, hands over licence with the name ‘JAMES TRAN‘ written all over it)
Cargo: Ok, come in!

(Upstairs) Music and Atmosphere
Was here for Josh’s birthday. Upstairs was pretty busy .. both ends of the bar had dancers which was good. All the staff were wearing Dreadlock hats, Jamaican beanies, winter olympic bobsled outfits, fur coats.. it was in general a pretty fun atmosphere.  The music though, was sometimes questionable (well I didnt know the songs).. but provided for a fun loving cosy experience as it was mostly reggae or songs whose singers were from jamaica. most of the main crowd were for Josh’s birthday but it was only 9-10pm and so it was a good start, everyone there was jumping up and down.  We left at 10pm

Timeline (Downstairs)

At this point I was supposed to return to my friends who were drinking somewhere, but I wanted to check out the downstairs scene quickly. It was more subdued downstairs.. all the staff were normally dressed, and there were about 20 people on the dancefloor, dancing quite passively.

First approach
I danced but felt odd seeing a girl dance alone and not do something about it. After a song I told her how I thought it was brave of her to dance alone. She said she was actually waiting for a friend. Oh uh… made some small chat and said I’d leave once the friend came. Her friend came, and thank god, it was a girl. More small chat and moved on.

Mirror dancing with a girl
At the front the DJ booth is really shiny black – you can see yourself in the reflection. I danced and looked at my moves. A girl next to me copies me and it’s on, but she refuses to answer my questions, instead smiling. Fair enough. I advance, and she backs up, but her friends behind her push her back into me. Haha, my own little army of wingmen. Since she’s still not wanting to converse with me (but still wants to dance) I leave.

Drunk woman has a crack on me.. what was i thinking
At the bar with my glass of water and I turn around. Theres a woman on the wrong side of 30 looking at me with her man friend next to her. I smile and pull a small move. She responds and mirrors me. It’s on. She walks up to me and its straight into the body body grinding. She keeps telling me she has no idea what is going on. She responds incoherently to my questions… She’s drunk. Her man friend disappears – probably a random at the bar. After some awkward salsa moves (I really need some salsa lessons).. a bit of flirting.. I span her around a few times (probably a bad move in hindsight) … and we kiss.. all in about 5 minutes. Hallelujah for drunk girls.

Then she tell me she has to go to the bathroom to vomit…. hallelujah again. I should be distubed by now but my hormones were on overdrive…

Random drunk guy loves my hair
While she’s vomiting I dance with a guy who keeps touching the tips of my wig. So were two of his female companions. They were here for a hen’s night. After bout 10 minutes, the girl hasnt come out yet and this guy has touched my hair about 5 times, he is absolutely fascinated by it. I just give up and give him the hair to try. My gosh. His face beamed like a 5 year old child at christmas. He jumped around and approached every girl in visible sight, shook his hair and yelped, complete with beer in hand. One of the girls only noticed I took off the wig 5 minutes later. Funny blonde.

More dancing with the first set of girls
I returned to the two girls I first met, and they were still alone. They were very receptive and we danced it off. Amazingly, these two were the most energetic dancers I’ve met. The way they danced was almost exactly like me. They would do the silly retro moves, the house/rnb moves.. and were pretty keen on anything. They were like female versions of myself. Their names were Liz and Karen. As we danced, the girls seated were just staring at us.. silently jealous. Same with the circle of girls on the other side.. lol. Shame theres only one of me.

The manager spoils my fun with the drunk girl
After about 20 minutes she emerged from the bathroom. We chit chat, she’s all over me again. She says she wants to go home……… score.

We’re about to go, and some guy comes up and introduces himself to her as the Manager of Cargo bar. Fuck. Initially I thought it was some random guy, but I looked behind him – there were 5 or 6 bouncers behind him. WTF! Was i that menacing? He says to her that he wanted to check if she was ok. It was over. I left the situation and let her drunken responses take care of the rest.

Coda Cargo
After some more hectic dancing with Karen and Liz they suggested Bar 333, so we left. On the way there we bumped into 2 other cargo people who saw us dancing – Fadi and his girlfriend. They joined us onward..

About Fridays @ Bar 333
Music: House, Retro
Crowd: Mixed Older
Dress Code: Casual accepted, mostly smart casual
Cover Charge / Entry Fee: Free
Occurence: Weekly
Atmosphere: Fun, but not much room for dancing

Timeline
When we got in, the corner dance floor (about 5×5 metres) was packed so we took to the walkway towards the bar as the dancefloor. Last time I came to Bar 333 I danced here. Apparently Karen and Liz danced on the same area as well. These two were really the female versions of me.

Guys, upon guys, upon guys
A guy dancing with two crazy ass girls gets attention. There weren’t many other girls there that night but there were lots of guys. We all did our thing, and I had pretty much a few guys come up to me talking to me, using me to get to know the girls. At least buy me a drink!! lol. Met Josh the JT lookalike, some random guys at the bar, the bartender hi-5′s me, the turkish guy who’s been in sydney 2 weeks.. but no new girls. Interesting.

Music
Pretty good classics played but there were some old songs I didn’t recognise.. I guess I’m not that old yet. All fun though.

Coda (Bar 333)
They kicked everyone out at 2.45.. by that time the corner dancefloor was empty, and it was only us 3 plus the JT lookalike dancing. Karen and Liz agreed to meet up again for more dancing in the future.

About Burkedin Hotel
Location: 2-4 Oxford St, Darlinghurst
Website: http://www.burdekin.com.au/home.htm
Inside: Bottom level is the watering hole level. Middle floor was the dance event, and the top floor was the birthday with a DJ also playing (house). On entering the middle floor there is a small area to dance, and a smaller room to sit. Both have large mirrors so you can check your self out. A common bar for both rooms.

About Absolute
Music: RNB, Hip Hop
Crowd: Asian
Dress Code: Casual. I wore jeans, sneakers and a pink streaked wig.
Cover Charge / Entry Fee: $20 / $15 Guestlist
Occurence: Unknown
Atmosphere: Crowded with some sort of class.

Timeline
Ask before you pay
I saw Kevin while lining up (inside the stairwell).. After I paid my $15 (the fee was mandatory in order to attend the event and the birthday party) Kevin told me he didn’t like the place. Great.. I should have asked earlier!

Sardines, Mirrors
This was a packed place with too many people. There were about 50 people in the dancefloor.. a bit too much but typical I guess. I was wearing an oversized pink wig and when I saw the large mirror hanging on the wall, I just *had* to adjust my hair. Girls and guys giving me strange looks, meditating on whether the hair was real or not.

Music
It was the typical RNB music you would hear at the nightclub. No complaints, the DJs throughout did a nice job of song selection. Upstairs on the RNB (then later House) level, Josh’s cousing was playing, the music was good as well but unfortunately the music stopped for a few seconds.. wasn’t a good impression.

Atmosphere
The girls – for some reason there were a higher proportion of good looking females. Couldn’t explain this phenomenon. Perhaps being single forever have had my standards dropping… naaahh.The small space and unusually loud and boisterous crowd made it more friendly.

Hair despair
Too many girls touched the wig. This was a different kind of wig – it would not revert back to its default shape – you move it and it would keep to the new style in which you created it to be. Absolutely annoying as every ten minutes I had to adjust the hair. Claire found blue ribbon hanging off the wall and put it around my head. HOT!! Not long after, other people upstairs had taken down ribbon and wrapped it around their heads.

Joe is elbowed
An intoxicated Joe and Garry are dancing arm in arm and bumping into the girl behind them. She is giving Joe the biggest dirties and elbows him. Joe doesn’t notice. Joe bumps into her again then after my permission she gave him a huuuuge elbow and poor Joe nearly topples over himself!

I get the shoe up the ass
We’re dancing in the corner, and there are 2 girls watching us. One of them loves Claire’s dancing and gets up to dance a bit with her. Hot. Later, the other is staring at me.. i turn around and she slides the foot right up my ass and boots it! So I gave her a piece of what she wanted and sat on her lap, grinding her next to her. I stopped when I realised the guy next to her could have been her boyfriend.

Coda
Left at 2.30am.. the place was still packed (small room but the ratio of M:F was getting worse). A safe venue as a small group, but I would only consider regoing if the price was reduced.

The Retro Hotel
Music: Retro, Rnb, House from the 80’s, 90’s and early 2000’s
Location: 81 Sussex St
Website: www.theretro.com.au
Cover Charge: Free before 9pm, or Free if you were dressed for the night’s theme. Otherwise it’s $20
Atmosphere: Party, fun
Crowd: Mixed nationalities, generally a bit older.
Dress: Casual and fun. Theme nights are held every Saturday.

Timeline

Early arrival
Got there with Tanya at around 8pm for birthday drinks. I was stamped on my way in. Only ground floor was open at this time, and there were people dancing already!! This place is nuts. I did some dancing with Tanya, birthday girl Jane and her friends. Tanya and I left about an hour later to get to her place.

Early departure
At this point in time, I am thinking.. sweet I’m going to score. She puts on a DVD of her favourite movie Bra Boys, then promptly passes out on the sofa. WTF! It was 11pm.. and I am wide awake. So I walked back from her Kings Cross apartment all the way back to the Retro…

The return of the James
Jane had already left when I got back, so it was just me on my own. I went straight up to the middle level. Some pure 80′s and 90′s retro stuff going on. I then quickly went to the top level. It was classic rnb. Cool, something I can dance to.

I was basically doing laps around the room, and dancing with the same or new groups who were keen to dance. There were two podiums on each level and I hogged a lot of it. The music was great, all singalongables as well as danceables.

Friends denying a chick her rights to dance with a hot guy .. why ?
As mentioned I was doing laps around the room. A particular group of 3 girls I would drop by and dance with. The one who was most interested and most fun, I guess, was the biggest one. She loved it, so I danced with her and had plenty of fun. They were actually here for a friends birthday. They pointed the birthday boy to me. He was sitting along the wall with his mates having a drink, refusing to dance. Each time I came around, I would dance with her. About the 5th time, the birthday boy stood up, grabbed her hand, and pulled her away from me. Why deny her rights to have fun dancing on the floor. Why ? I wasn’t going to take advantage of her – I wasn’t drunk.

Crazy Ballet Dancers
I was dancing, arms in the air walking by another group of 3 girls. I look in their direction and throw a little boogie. The tall asian right away pounces and starts her crazy dance, hair flying everywhere. She was crazy good. I asked how she became such a good dancer – she told me she was a Ballet dancer. If it weren’t for her normal voice, I could have easily mistaken her for Vanessa from So You Think You Can Dance Australia. She took photos of me. I asked for facebook details so I could be tagged, but I was met with a ‘I dont even know you’. C’mon.. at least limited profile?

Dancing with Brides (to be)
On this top level alone there were 2 brides to be for their hen’s nights. The bride and her girlfriends usually congregate in a circle just dancing on their own. What present could I give to a bride to be in a club ? A grinding dance of course. Theoretically, jumping in the circle and doing a seductive hip-hip grind dance would tingle her spine and get her girlfriends wild. That was theoretical. I jumped in the circle, stick my leg in between hers and start to grind dance. Both girls during both times she was frozen in time, unsure how I managed to sneak in and start to dance with her. The first girl was unimpressed. She gave me this really cold look, and so did her friends. Geez. I told her “happy wedding!”. She replied. “I’m not getting married”. Right, and that’s why you’ve got the freaking veil thing on your head. The second girl said “Thanks!”, while standing there, not moving. I ask if she would like to dance. “no.”… Geez. I left that cold circle. Perhaps a sandwich with another guy would have gotten her more receptive.

After the top level died (2am) I headed down another level.. and another Hens night was going on! I decided not to even try out my theory with Hen’s groups. However after about a few minutes the drunkest of the girlfriends went up to me on the podium and danced. She was my way in. Slowly, one by one, I progressed and danced with each girl. They were probably fascinated by the wig I was wearing at the time. After some small talk, I pretty much established some form of contact with all of the girls (about 8 of them) and I was safe. At this point in time Natalie was touching my hair, so I took it off and gave it to her. Seeing the hair as a wig drove the girls crazy, shocked that the hair wasnt real. The next thing was ‘I want to wear it!’. So they did.. and I’m sure right now some of their profile pics are of themselves with my wig. The bride was the most conservative of the group and was least willing to dance (but she did dance) … there may be a pattern here.

Coda
Left around 3.30 after a quick shuffle on the ground floor, where they changed to retro trance music, early 2000′s house. Would definitely come back here dressed up for the theme of the night!

Here’s a group photo with me on the top floor.. (Note the bride in front of me – she was the one who ‘wasn’t getting married’)

Location: 165 Phillip St and 72 Elizabeth St. Dancefloor on Level 1
Website: http://www.nswleagues.com.au
Entry: As per RSL rules
Music: Pop, House, RNB.. whatever people know.
Atmosphere: Dead
Crowd: Suits of various ages.

Timeline
(10.30pm-11.30pm)
Got there for Ramazin’s farewell. Andrew was so drunk but he was the only one who wanted to dance.. there were 2 people on the dancefloor.. in total there were probably 15 people on the whole level.

Me and Andrew get on the floor. Andrew the poor white boy tries to do some breakdancing. He put his head and span around in a circle. Another attempt in flipping sideways looked very tragic. Andrew then span around in a few circles. He was spinning towards the DJ.. *BANG!!* He fell down and smacked into the table….
“HEY! THIS IS A TEN THOUSAND DOLLAR DJ SET!!”

Andrew was banned from the dancefloor by the guards.

Other than that, not much else happened: a few rnb songs with Cheryl, a few house songs with Kimberley .. then the DJ stopped at 11.30pm, and everybody was kicked out.

Coda
Nice place for cheap drinks and music to cater for everyone. Otherwise avoid this place if you came to dance.

[ Coco @ Favela ]

Website: http://www.favela.com.au
Address 1 Kellet Way, Potts Point
Music: House, Retro
Cover Charge: $20
Crowd: Young, mostly white but it looks like they were taking everyone in

[Favela]
Walked in and saw the restaurant / lounge area. People drinking and relaxing. I went straight upstairs – The dancefloor in front of the DJ is quite small but you could basically dance anywhere around the lounges in the area. Looking above are the lights, which take up the entire space of the ceiling. I thought the lights would play according to the music, but it follows a predefined lighting pattern. Nethertheless its sexy.

Later downstairs was cleared to play the Retro music. Even a smaller dance floor with less people, about 5x5m. Good vibe though.

(Music) The music was good. Favela claims to not play commercial house music, so it was good to enjoy the new house sounds that were to probably become commercialised. The volume of the music wasnt as loud as other clubs.. this made it really easy to talk and dance at the same time.. nothing I have seen at any other club. However at times, the pace of the house music was a bit too slow, and I didnt feel the full potential of it.

The bottom floor was retro .. all your classic retro songs were being played. Good times.

[Timeline]
People were saying that there was usually a 1 hour line outside. I arrived and there was no line. Apparently the Saturday before Xmas is a very dead one.. I just chose to arrive to Favela at an unfavourable time.

It was about 11.30 and the dancefloor was busy with women.. with men ogling alongside on the walls. I was dressed up quite well, and I looked at these guys. They were wearing shirts, jeans and sneakers. I felt very overdressed. I did get a photo with some randoms.

The place looked pretty empty, so nobody new joined the floor. It was just me and about 10 girls who were in their own circles. It was about an hour before some guys joined. One of the guys who spoke to me told me this place is usually packed, and that I did pick an unlucky night to join the fun.

Nyarr..
So these two guys looked at me and went “NYARR..”.. you know.. that manly excited grunt that men yell at each other. I replied with a “NYYYARRR”… then what do you think they said in return?? “NYARRRR!!!”

Say Nyarr..

So this conversation kept going with “nyar nyar?” “nyar!!”, and lots of hugging. Not one word of English was spoken in this primal conversation…

Coda
That was pretty much it. The place closed at 3am (!!) which was pretty wierd for a place like this near the cross. It was full of guys anyway as usual at the end of it. I will give this place another chance on a better night as I did like the atmosphere of the whole place.