Fridays @ The Golden Sheaf Hotel
Assessment Time:11:00PM – 1:00AM
Opening Hours: 10:00AM – 2:00AM (Friday and Saturday)
Lockout: None
Website: http://www.goldensheaf.com.au
Address: 429 New South Head Road, Double Bay, Sydney.
Dress Code / Door Policy:
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free Entry all night
Guestlist: None
Occurence: It’s open every night. Tonights live band act is assumed to be at least every Friday. There is a DJ also on Saturday nights.
Inside: The Golden Sheaf runs over 2 levels. Enter via the bottom level into a hallway. Standard Pub to hold 50 or so people and TAB on the left and pokies room on the right. Walk through the hallway to enter the rear entertainment quarter. It’s a big beer garden and obviously recently renovated. Patio heaters, tables and chairs are everywhere. Floor space of the back end takes up about two thirds of the whole place. On the right rear end corner is the main bar, kitchen and dancefloor to hold about 80 or so people. There is a elevated podium with enough room for a 4 piece band to play. Stairs on the right and walk up to a recently renovated lounge area of about 3 main rooms and another bar, with balcony to look over the beer garden. Walls are decorated with flowery / artsy patterns. You can smell the freshness up here. However in essence the actual dancefloor itself is pretty small in size.
Cloak Room: No cloak room facilities. People who were dancing, simnply dumped their stuff in a big communal pile of jackets and bags at the front of the stage.
Bar: I didn’t buy any drinks tonight. The depth of the line was about 1.5 people deep, so you do have to wait a few minutes.
DJs / Acts: A cover band was playing until midnight – with the lead singer mentioning the crowd to look out for them on the X-Factor next month in August. Well, they hd to be at least decent. After midnight, an assumed resident DJ took over.
Music: (upto midnight) The cover band played a wide genre of songs including rnb, commerical house, classic love songs from the past decades, and pop. There was no mixing here, just songs played from beginning to end in a set. (After midnight) The DJ played a mix of RnB, Commercial House, and Top 40. Yes there was some mixing done up here. The choice of music didn’t really blow me away, and some songs left me standing there wondering why they were chosen. It was a very safe selection, and not really meant to replicate a pumping club atmosphere I suppose. It was however, good enough to get people dancing.
Crowd: One would assume mostly locals, and that’s true. There are also a small component of backpackers here
Entertainment: Tonight it was just the live band and DJ. There are two TVs on the edge of the dancefloor, playing Stephen Chow’s “Kung Fu Hustle” on loop. I have no idea why they have chosen this movie, but its pretty funny.
Atmosphere: On the dancefloor it felt pretty vibrant before midnight while the band was playing. When the DJ decided to rock up, it got a little more dancey, but it wasn’t loud thumping, but loud enough to keep the energy up. Wasn’t packed or dead – it seemed right.

Timeline:

We are probably the best
there was some room in the front corner where we stood, and then we started to dance. It was just a little jig but Marty decides to just go full out with his bloody popping. Ok, everyone just ends up staring at us in amazement, which is what we wanted anyway. That was easy.

Bad excuses to not give out your number to me
Random: ‘Youre awesome’
James: ‘Yup. Want to hang out again?’
Random: ‘Yup!’
James: ‘Whats your number?’
Random: ‘I dont give my number out to strangers. How about I see you here next week?’

Seriously, its better to say ‘no lets not hang out again, just tonight’, or even the just as bad ‘I have a boyfriend’. Really. “I don’t give my number out” – PUH LEEZE

An inspirational movie for dance
Running out of dance moves, so I look above where the TV is playing “Kung Fu Hustle” starring Hong Kong action star Stephen Chow. Most of it is just all the fight scenes, so there are easily many punches, jumps, hand movements and body shaking dancemoves that were easily replicated and looked pretty good on the dancefloor. Try it sometime my fried.

Arrivederci
Left at 1AM to attend to other appearances. The whole place (with the exception of upstairs) is still busy with people drinking, and dancing on the floor.

Recommendation
I wouldn’t make my way out here for a pure clubbing experience, but if you do find yourself in the area, do check it out for a quick dance and soak yourself in the atmosphere. It’s a very good place for a drink otherwise.

If you were just here for a proper dance – be prepared to only properly have a DJ for 2 hours, and prepare to be bombarded with songs from every genre known to mankind.

The Golden Sheaf Hotel (pure dancefloor component): 2.5/10

The Golden Sheaf Hotel Overall: 7.5/10

Me with one of the fans in the attempt to keep the temperature cool

It’s my birthday weekend, but I really didn’t plan anything for Saturday. A friend has invited me to Sanctuary Hotel – The last time I walked in, the air con wasn’t working correctly for large crowds and it became stuffy and overheated. Since then I have been assured things were ‘fixed’. So let’s check it out – here we go!

Funky (Buddha) @ Sanctuary Hotel
Assessment Time: 12:15AM to 02:45AM
Opening Hours: 10:30 – Unknown
Lockout: None
Website: http://www.funkybuddha.com.au, http://www.phatentertainment.com.au
Address: 545 Kent St - Corner of Liverpool and Kent St, Sydney. Behind 3 wise monkeys.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual ok. Hats allowed.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $25 standard. $20 on guestlist before midnight. 
Guestlist: info@phatentertainment.com.au
Occurence: Every Saturday Night.
Inside: The entrance is not at the normal Sanctuary Hotel entrance. It is via the TAB area further along on Kent St. The room upon entry is where people can have a chat and chill out without actually going outside. Walk in further to the main area, and the large carpeted room has been converted to a dancefloor. DJ on the wall, and a 3 tier podium smack in the middle, dividing the room into two halves. Bar along the far back wall.
Cloak Room: Cloak room is located upon entry. Not utilized tonight but I would imagine it to be the same rip off pricing as of previous nights at the previous Verandah Bar venue.
Bar: Did not utilize tonight, but the wait was a bit longer than usual. Line was 2 or 3 deep. Bar closed altogether at 2:30AM, in a safe assumption that too many fights spoil the bar.
Music: RnB, Pop and some House mashup
Crowd: Mostly Asian. Mostly teenagers or early 20′s. You can tell via the baby faces and hair styles. I fit right in.
Entertainment: Podium dancers throughout the night. It’s good enough.
Atmosphere: It’s setup to encourage lots of dancing, which is good. The humidity of the last time I was here is gone – Fans are installed and air con is setup just right for a danceable experience. People are not as friendly but what else do you expect from 18 year olds. Carpeted area gives the place a more friendly vibe as well as the second room to allow people a breather is also good. It’s also pretty busy on the dancefloor itself, enough to have your own dance, but not sardine packed.

Podium dancer - Funky @ Sanctuary Hotel

Fights: I saw two fights break out tonight. One you may see typically at a club, but two in one night is bad. Ha. Teenage angst and alcohol.
Videos:

Walkthrough of the dancefloor area. 

Click here to view the embedded video.

360 View

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline:
The world cup
It only comes every 4 years. Tonight it was Australia vs Ghana. I sat for the majority of the match in the secondary room watching the game with my fellow clubbers. I know, it wasn’t utilizing the most of my $25 but I have to watch it. It was really upsetting to see Kewell red carded. Very unfair.

This definitely deserved a red card
So after the match I am trying to get through the crowd, but I face a wall of some dancers. I stand there for a few seconds waiting for a gap to open up so that I could continue on. A girl behind me pushes me. Ok, I was near their group so I step back a bit but I still can’t go through. Then, ANOTHER SHOVE from the same group, this time more violent – as if to tell me to fuck off already. HEY – IM JUST TRYING TO WALK THROUGH, AND COINCIDENTALY STANDING NEXT TO YOU GIRLS. I AM NOT EVEN LOOKING AT YOU. WHY SHOVE ME FOR?? Fuck you, fucking teenagers.

Used the birthday card
Was getting bored, and there was a circle of about 8 girls just dancing away. So I asked marty to jump in the middle and dance. He said no. I used my birthday card and forced him to go. He agrees and jumps in and dances. Great! It works and we all start dancing for my birthday. I think they were laughing at us rather than with us when we were dancing.

We have a fan from a previous clubbing night
An area in the back opened up and we go back to dance. Another dude joins us, and I shake his hand after. He says he met us last time at Macquarie Hotel! I don’t remember him at all, but if he knows where I was in the past, then I believe him. It’s been a while since I’ve been recognized randomly- I was starting to miss it.

Arrivederci
Left just before 3:00AM from being bored. The place was beginning to die down ratio wise.

Recommendation
This is not such a bad place to go, and a definite improvement on Verandah Bar. Do keep in mind its Asian teeny bopper night here if you are of the older classy type. Seeings two fight break outs in the short time I was here was a little disturbing, but that is expected in any club with young people.

Funky @ Sanctuary Hotel – 6/10

Crowd at The Ivory, Wollongong NSW

Four of us are here to check out the Wollongong nightlife for one night – We just left The Harp Hotel, and we are off to the next club down the street – it’s Ivory Bar, so here we go!

Saturdays @ Ivory Bar
Assessment Time: 11:30PM – 12:30AM
Opening Hours: 8:00PM – 3:00AM
Lockout: None
Website: No website could be found.
Address: 77 Crown Street, Wollongong NSW
Dress Code / Door Policy: Probably safe to dress smart casual here. Most people were dressed smart, though casual was allowed you would be probably looked down upon. No hats allowed. No photography allowed.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $10 flat charge all night
Guestlist: None
Inside: Imagine The Establishment in Sydney, but without the back room, and half the size of the main room / bar area. This is exactly what you get at the Ivory – You walk into a lengthy room with one bar to the left adoring the wall. There is a section behind this wall for smokers. DJ booth (I cant even remember if there was a DJ booth) should be at the front. There is a big LCD screen displaying random messages set by the people here partying tonight. Lounges near the entrance and to the right hand side. Main dancing area is at the back.
Cloak Room: None
Bar: I did not drink here tonight. The bar specializes in cocktails, so you can imagine the prices at this bar to be of the upper end range.
Music: House / Funky House
Crowd: Older crowd, but dressed up nicely, so as to keep up with appearances. Mostly late 20s, 30s, and some 40s and 50s were spotted here. A lot of good lookers. Entirely Caucasian.
Entertainment: No extra things to keep the vibe going. It held up on its own for a bar.
Atmosphere: Music is loud, the venue seems new and the vibe amongst the dancing patrons is pretty good. People are dancing and drinking away. In terms of dance space, it is a little cramped, but not sardine packed. It’s enough to survive an hour here, but I would not imagine an entire night here.
Video: Walkthrough Video

Click here to view the embedded video.

There is only one other club I have ever been to that didn’t even allow cameras past security inside, and that was The Capitol in New Delhi, India. When I was there it was regarded probably the most elite and difficult nightclub to get into in India – Fair enough I played by their rules, BUT TONIGHT WE ARE IN BLOODY WOLLONGONG, NOT THE MOST ELITE NIGHTCLUB IN INDIA!

What are they so scared of? Did the 50 year old patrons complain that the flash photography affects their vision? This is not a nursing home. Does the flash expedite the degradation of the walls around me? This ain’t The Louvre. Am I infringing copyright? This is not a cinema! IT’S A NIGHTCLUB WITH LOUD MUSIC AND PEOPLE DANCING AND DRINKING!!! Why oh why?? I really really wonder sometimes.

Drunken Cronulla Man keeps us for a few more minutes
Drunken Man from Cronulla comes up and tells us how good we were before at dancing. He is as red as a tomato with a beer in his hand. Then orders us to dance! Fine, we accept the order and dance for a bit, he is a top bloke, but we are still upset at the stupid management camera rule, and we leave Drunken Cronulla Man alone. He was sad when we left.

Arrivederci
Very unhappy that I am unable to take happy snaps and the lack of young people to talk to, we leave The Ivory anyway for our next venue, The Glasshouse, across the road. (They allowed photography)

Recommendation

Ivory Bar: 4/10. No camera policy turns me off real bad. Crowd is somewhat hostile at times too. Music is good though. Crowd too old for me, even though I’m 25. However this is a good place for just cocktails.

Sin City Nightclub Gold Coast

It was panic after booking the plane tickets – Clubs in Sydney were closed on Good Friday. But what relief to find out the clubs in Surfers Paradise all opened after midnight – score! So off we went to Sin City nightclub – here we go!

Easter Good Friday @ Sin City Nightclub
Assessment Time: 12:30-3:00am
Opening Hours: 12:00am-5:00am (Special opening times due to Good Friday)
Lockout: 3:00am
Website: http://www.sincitynightclub.com.au
Address: 22 Orchid Ave, Surfers Paradise Gold Coast, Queensland Australia
Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual ok.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $15 standard. $10 or possibly cheaper on guestlsit
Guestlist: See website. They have events everyday to which you can submit guestlists to.
Inside: Walk in with a bar on the left with podiums for girls and tables. On the right is the main dancefloor and DJ area. Dancefloor holds about 100-150 people. Elevated platforms around the columns. Balcony like area, and second bar as well on the far end. VIP lounges in the back corner. Everything is carpeted except for the dancefloor.
Cloak Room: None offered.
Bar: 12 Tequila sunrises and 12 Chatreuse shots for a total of $243
Music: A mix of modern rnb and commercial house. There is also some top 40 music.
Crowd: Being surfers paradise, mostly backpackers or people holidaying this weekend up in the Gold Coast. Most are of caucasian background.
Entertainment: All the waitresses are dressed in corsets and really short skirts / lingerie. Enough said. There are also permanent podiums for dancing on.
Atmosphere: Considering it was Good Friday, did not expect a big turnout, but since it *was* Surfers Paradise – there were a billion backpackers looking for a place to party!
Video: 360 of Sin City

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline:
No Photos of the waitresses
I was so excited that the waitresses were wearing lingerie so I took a photo of a waitress and she SNAPPED at me. “No photos, you have to ask” she yells at me. Fair enough. I deleted the photo and asked for a photo. “NO” she says curtly. How did I not expect that answer. So anyway, always ask before doing

My hat is popular with backpackers
I am dancing with my friends, and not even 1 minute on the dancefloor, two girls have already asked to take a photo with me. Seriously, why? I am just wearing a hat. Well I seem to be the only one wearing one in here, but I found it strange they wanted a photo with me. It might be their pick up line, but they didn’t want to talk to me after the photo. Really really strange.

Later throughout, random people just pluck the hat and put it on and dance with it. It’s for me to give out to others, not for you to pluck! Way too many men chose my hat for my liking that night.

Fight!
We are hanging out in the dancefloor and suddenly a fight broke out, right next to us! Usually in a fight you step back 5 or 6 steps. This one turned from a fight of 2 or 3 people to a 5-8 peron brawl, requiring as many steps back as possible. It was going off for a good 20 seconds before security jumped in to save the day. It was one of the most vicious brawls I’ve seen in a nightclub, probably because we were right next to it. A minute later, everyone is happily dancing again.

Sexism

Ladies only on the podium - SEXIST!!

This sign says it all – total sexism!! Well, I got up anyway, for a photo.

Take THAT you sexist nightclub!!

Arrivederci
We left due to too much drinking.

Recommendation
Atmosphere of this place is very good, and the crowd is pretty friendly. Good music for everyone here also adds to the atmosphere. Cheap entry too.

Sin City Fridays – 8.0/10

Star Bar 19th March 2010

Friends of Marty have forced me to go to Star Bar, after leaving the dismal Shark Hotel. I have only 3 passes this year to visit Star Bar as part of my new years resolution, and after tonight, I will only have one left. So Marty and I go in for a dance.. here we go!

Saturday – The dancefloor was busy the whole time we were there. The surrounding areas of stools and lounges weren’t so busy.

Puls8 (Friday) @ Shark Bar - Peak Time.. pretty not busy.

Walkthrough Video on a Friday – Very dead

Click here to view the embedded video.

Previous incarnations of clubbing nights at Shark Hotel bring back memories of a dark room at the back, full of people dancing, and ALWAYS ending up in a fight, complete with chairs and tables being flung in a multitude of directions. Will tonight be the same? Keep reading to find out…

Friday’s Timeline
Dancing with the crowd
Firstly, as we arrived, there was only one guy up there dancing on his own. A sole warrior. A European version of me. Marty and I jump up for a dance. There are now 3 losers up on the dancefloor at 11pm. Later some other people who were gutsy enough come up .. and it was alright with the 6 of us now. It didn’t really get much more than that.

No people = No shoes
It’s so dead that there’s 3 of us. The 3rd person, a girl, has taken off her shoes to dance, and no security has come up to tell her off. It’s pretty relaxed in here.

She left her shoes on the podium to go barefoot. Shoes did not get stolen nor was she told off.

Mistaken Identity
Me and Marty are out tonight, and we’re wearing similar vests. Marty is wearing his hat and he steps off the floor and it’s just me. A girl who was dancing with Marty turns around and asks me “wheres your hat?”. oh.. my.. god… did she think I was Marty, the guy she was just dancing 5 minutes with?? She wasn’t kidding, and she really thought I was Marty. Oh my god.. WE DO LOOK THE SAME!!

We totally look the same

Saturday’s Timeline
Reviving a dancefloor
On Arrival, there are two guys dancing up on the dancefloor. Once again, Marty and me jump up and join in… nobody joins us and it takes Beyonce’s “single ladies” to get about 8 women up on the dancefloor, which is a great result for Shark Hotel.

Photographer loves us
Early on, the photographer takes photos of us and loves us so much he gives us a free drink each. Oh, score! It was Yager Beer time!

Photographer loves me! Last known photo of my hat.

Jagermeister promotions

There’s a Jagermeister stand, giving out merchandise per Jager shot taken. Keyrings, shirts and bandanas were up on offer. I got a bandana and keyring bottle opener

Jagermeister stand - shot of jager for a free item!

Hat gone
I’ve lent my hat to a girl Marty was dancing with, and then she left. My awesome hat is gone. NO. Marty I want you to get my hat back!

Having to fend off sleazy men
I’m with a friend, and she’s heavily tipsy. You leave her alone for one minute and some guy is grinding with her. So really I have to run around and fend off anyone. I think at one point, we were in conversation and a guy comes up and asks me if he could talk to her for ‘just a sec’. Like hell no, shine your dick away from me! Barf. He didn’t even offer me a bribe or anything.Another guy comes up to us in the bar and grabs her crotch. Barf again. My cousin is hit on heaps as well, but she was able to take care of herself, despite her calling out for me for help. LOL. Note – all these sleazes were euro dudes.

Arrivederci
(Friday) Pretty much after 1pm the whole place had died and we left for Star Bar
(Saturday) Left at 3am, there were still some people dancing.

Recommendation
I would avoid coming here on a Friday night. However Saturday nights here are much better, theres more people and the dancefloor is busy enough to have your own private dance without being stared at. If you want a clean place with cheap drinks, and a quick dance, check this out. But only come with friends. You may not enjoy it here on your own. In comparison to the old clubbing nights a year or so ago – the DJ is better and the place is no longer full of drunkards – no longer you should be worried about getting smacked by a wooden chair or glassed in the eye thanks to plastic cups- one can also have a chat and play some pool as well.

Puls8 (Friday Night) @ Shark Hotel – 2.5/10
Puls8 (Saturday Night) @ Shark Hotel – 6.5/10

Sundayze @ The Albion

Assessment Time: 8pm-Midnight
Website: http://www.albionhotel.com.au/
Address: 135 George St, Parramatta
Dress Code: Casual ok. Most guys wore t-shirts, and girls wore dresses.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free
Guestlist: n/a
Inside: Courtyard was open only tonight. Small narrow dancefloor on the side to hold about 100 people.
Cloak Room: N/a
Bar: One bar
DJ: DJ Jorgie Jay, DJ Fresh & DJ Adrian Allan
Music: House, RnB, Pop
Crowd: Dominantly European and Middle Eastern. Some Aussies and no Asians except for us. Lots of men with tight t-shirts on showing off their muscles. It’s gross.
Entertainment: n/a
Atmosphere: Dead early, but just like any normal nightclub, people did not dance until around 10:30, but after that it got pretty packed in the small dance area. In the courtyard it was bustling, with most tables occupied. It was a good atmosphere later in the night.

Timeline
Goofing off with Marty
There just isn’t enough dancefloor area on the dancefloor to dance – just enough to wave your hands or move step to the left or right one or two steps. So of course, Marty and I dance it out in the courtyard, puzzling some people, but entertaining others. I started doing the Nutbush but I don’t think anyone picked it up, and I think I looked like an idiot doing the nutbush for an entire two songs.

Threatened for dancing
So we are pulling some pretty funky dory moves, and the crowd around us is loving it. A big burly man in the circle pulls Marty aside. He is told to dance up on the dancefloor, and not here in the courtyard. He didn’t look happy at all. He was quite the asshole actually. If it was illegal to dance in the courtyard, surely we would have been told by security! Anyway some people are party pooping assholes.

Dancing for a bit with a muscly guy
Tried to get onto the dancefloor but its too packed, so we danced just outside the stairs leading up , where some other people were also dancing. ANOTHER big burly man pulls us aside, but instead of telling us off, he orders us to dance! haahahaa. OK, so we dance. He’s 30 something but still got the tmoves. Pretty fun dude.

A Smokers paradise
It’s technically an outdoor area, and the dancefloor isn’t a closed space, so there are people smoking everywhere. Initially its bad but you eventually adjust and start breathing the crap in, but its still yuck. Of course, at the end of it all, your skin and clothes smell like cigarettes when you get home. Dirty, filthy and foul.

Arrivederci
Stayed until the end. Kicked out at Midnight. Place was still packed at this time.

Recommendation
A pretty good place to go to on a Sunday, while still being able to go to work the next day if need be. Much better than most other places on a Sunday in terms of population.

However the open smoking is a drawback to this venue, and I wouldn’t come here alone – especially if you bump into a big wog guy who doesnt like your preference of dancing in the courtyard. There were two fights we saw that night as well. If it wasn’t for that idiot and the open smoking, a higher rating would have been in order

Sundays @ The Albion Hotel – 6.5/10

Assessment Time: 22:45pm – 01:45
Website: http://www.starbar.com.au
Address: George St, Sydney
Door Policy: Casual dress ok. Outfits are ok. However groups of guys are not ok. At its peak it is hard to get in, but after 2am, you should be able to get in wearing most attire.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free
Guestlist: None required. However if you don’t match door policy, you will get the ‘guestlist’ treatment.
Inside: 3 levels, but only the top floor has a proper setting for clubbing. Medium-large round shaped dancefloor surrounded by lounges. DJ booth at the front. The middle floor has a DJ as well, but the volume of the music is laid back. There are also pool tables on these bottom two floors, and extra lounges.
Cloak Room: none.
Bar: 2 bars top level.
DJ: Video DJ for the top level, and normal DJ middle level.
Music: Rnb, house, pop.. all the typical top 40 tracks.
Crowd: Mixed nationalities, a mix of backpackers and locals, and mixed ages.
Entertainment: Glowsticks were being thrown out by the security guy onto the stage.
Atmosphere: Pretty average to good.
Timeline

I just bought my outfit for Homebake the next day. It’s sitting in my bag, so what else can I do? I put it on of course to try it out!

Orange jumpsuit jail outfit

Well after all this putting on the outfit, I was ready to take lots of photos. Well.. what happened was, that nobody took photos of me at all! I am walking around in a bright orange jumpsuit and nobody wants a photo… so sad.

No circles allowed
A small circle formed and people started dancing, including myself. Eventually after a few songs, half of the entire dancefloor has formed around the circle! It’s an amazing sight I have never seen here before. Here’s a video:

[youutbe]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6J2lHDNTbg[/youtube]

Security though, rock up and want to split up the circle up. What kinda policy is that? So instead of the circle breaking up – people came down and surrounded the security guard. You think they’re going to beat him up, but instead people started dancing around the security guy in protest!! hahaha hilarious. Everyone is cheering and dancing around the security guy. He stands there, unable to do anything – eventually he is taken away by another security guy, lmfao.

Arrivederci + Recommendation
We leave around 2am, to prepare for Homebake the next day!

Star Bar Fridays – 4th November 2009: 6/10 tonight for me

RnB superclub @ Tank
Assessment Time: 11:30-2:30am
Website: http://www.rnbsuperclub.com
Address: 3 Bridge Lane, Sydney CBD, Sydney
Dress Code:
(Men) You must waer collared shirts, no dirty shoes, no sneakers (unless they are classy e.g. Lacoste), and no chucks. No bucks parties, no chucks, no large groups, no high proportion of men to women in the small groups. That’s from what I can remember from the guestlist terms of entry.
(women) Just turn up.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $20 on guestlist, $25 on the door otherwise
Guestlist: Send an email to info@platinum1.com.au. You are then rewarded with a FORM to sign. Yeah, a form! The form lists the complete guestlist rules above. You need to sign it and send it back. After that, there is still no guarantee that you will be allowed entry. But geez, what a hassle! This must be the only club that I’ve ever sent a guestlist to that has forced me to sign a waiver.
Inside: The RnB superclub nights have apparently died down!! So much so the upstairs room was closed. So tonight, only the main room and the back room den was open. I was a bit disappointed that its died down. The tight dress code is turning away many to go to other places
Cloak Room: $3 i think. Good value.
Bar: One bar for each room. Main room the wait can be upto 10 minutes. the back room you only have to wait up to 5 minutes.
Music: RnB obviously. Modern banging  tracks. There may have been an lectro mashup.. Back room was old school rnb. Less loud as well in here.
Crowd: Mix of asians, indians, aussies, euros
Entertainment: No podium dancers. I think there was an MC
Atmosphere: Pretty pumping in the main room. Back room was more laid back, pretty quiet in comparison to the main room.

Timeline
Party of 20 girls
I have invited a friend to meet up. She has managed to get her friend’s birthday crowd over. When she walks in she literally has about 20 girls with her and ZERO guys. I could have died right then and there. She was selfish enough to not introduce me to her friends so we had our own little dance session, lol. Oh well, one dance is better than none.

Nobody booked the special booth!
There’s a special booth in the back den, which has a queen sized bed and looks really ‘classical’, and it is a perfect place to do some photo whoring. So we jumped in, but of course, being me, I forget to bring my camera. So we just dance around the whole place. It’s quite a small reserved area but it’s probably not worth reserving if there was a cost attached to it. There was enough space to find an empty room to score for yourselves here. Yes, that’s right, its that dead in the back room tonight.

Hanging out with ……..  Asian International Students (aka FOBs)
I dance with a girl. The problem was that it was only her third time clubbing in 12 months and she’s a FOB.  I should have seen the signs when she was uber scared to go up on the podium. I spent the rest of the night (a good 2 or 3 hours) dancing with this girl, but she wouldn’t even grind. UGH. Furthermore she doesn’t drink, and it took me a good half hour to get her to stand up on the podium. At the end of this almighty effort, she did not even have a facebook to add her on. Disgusting.

Arrivederci
Designated Driver wants to leave, so we all go.

Recommendation:
A good venue to visit once in a while. Somehow it wasn’t as packed as it used to be, which is a shame, especially now that the top level room is closed, leaving 2 areas left. I would still say yes to checking out RNB superclub @ Tank, especially if you haven’t been before. I wouldn’t be sure if I would come here every Friday. however – there isn’t much else to go to in terms of RnB on a Friday.

RnB Superclub @ Tank Nightclub - 6.0/10

Click here to view the embedded video.

If you managed to watch that whole video, you would have noticed the club was missing a little something to make it better. Can you guess what it is?? Can you? Why yes, my dear Watson. It’s missing people. Elementary.

Timeline
- Had to walk up the stairs to get to level 3
- Level three only had 2 people when we go there – the DJ and the bartender. NO PUNTERS WERE INSIDE.
- Walking up to level 4, there were about 5 people who somehow got sucked into coming here. So shithouse.
- When we reached level 4 – The DJ stopped playing music.
- When the DJ stopped playing, Martin makes his own music in his head and waltzies right in. “Shouldn’t we charge him?” one of the cash register guys say.
“No, we can’t charge him. We can only charge cover if the DJ is playing music.”

Recommendation
Let’s cut to the chase. Avoid this place for general dancing at all costs. This goes in the scrap alongside Golden Palace (GP always has drugs.. and violence to the level where police have to be called in). Drinks are ok here though, but that’s not why you’re on this website.

Kings Cross Hotel – Zero (0) out of however many marks you want.  This place sucks.

Friend and I are in a group of girls dancing. I am close with one girl and he is close with another girl.

Suddenly, a bisexual girl that I met last year ppears. Last year, my friend narrowly almost hooked up with her, but I hooked up with her instead, and I didn’t call her the next day, per se.  She wasn’t the best looking girl in the world.

She says hello, and tries to grind with me. I don’t want to. She hangs around, not going away.  After about 30 minutes she has somehow worked her way into the group and is now the star of the group of girls. Long story short, after another 30 minutes, she is making out with the girl i was dancing with originally!

OMG I just had my grass cut by a lesbian!! I Hate Lesbians!! Has this ever happened to someone else on the face of this planet? My god. So I am left there with my blue balls. The rest of the night was ruined and I was in a state of shock…. FML

On top of this, lesbian had brang a friend, and that friend, too kissed my friend’s girl. So it was a double whammy. We were no longer men.

Karma is a bitch. Always call the girl the next day if you don’t want this to happen to you.

Cheerios

Preface: Chinese Whispers @ Arthouse
The longest guestlist line on planet earth

The guestlist line outside arthouse. ha.

Video:

Click here to view the embedded video.

We had been in the guestlist line for about 30 minutes at the time I took this video. Meanwhile, the normal line ($5 extra) was a measly 20 people deep.After 10 more minutes of waiting, me and the guys left. C stayed in line to get in 30 minutes later, for a total of 1 hour waiting. She said she had an awesome time there, and that it was pretty packed. Of course it was packed, look how many asians there were in line!

Coda: Ditching the line for another club
So where did we go? We went onto Bligh Bar… I honestly wasn’t keen to come to Bligh Bar, but it was a friend of a friend who was organising it. When I met the friend of a friend, I recognized him! He was the same promoter for the Fridays @ Bar Europa (I think I gave it an ok review….) Here we go!

Klassic Nights @ Bligh Bar
Assessment Time: 12:30am – 1:30am
Address:  2a Bligh St, Sydney
Website: http://www.klassicnights.com
Dress Code: Casual ok. I wore a fedora hat, jeans, collared shirt, dress shoes.
Entry Fee/ Cover Charge: I think we paid $15
Inside: One main room, sectioned off by a hinese pretzel looking wall. Bar occupies an entire corner of floorspace. Tables and chairs everywhere else.
Crowd: Asian, young to mid 20s.
Music: Modern RNB

Atmosphere: Felt a little empty, could have been better. Actually it was shithouse. Think of Pavillion Hotel on a bad night. People sitting around the floor. At peak time, all 20 or so of us were dancing on the small floor.  There wasn’t much promotion that I noticed for this event, but the dance floor was small enough to have a vibe going. The last time I was here, urban agent held a Friday Night here back in December 2008 – they did a pretty ok job (I didn’t write an entry for it but I was dressed in a Santa Suit, feeding people chocolate). Tonight was worse. However we had paid our entry, and so we just danced it off. The only benefit of a dead club though, was that there was no waiting at the bar – Hooray!

Walk-in video:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline

I am a social whore
Promoter: JAMES! My god you know everyone
Promoter (to my friend): I have THREE social circles, and James knows all of them! Social whore!

I am now officially an E-Grade Social Whore Celebrity amongst the mid 20′s Asian community in Sydney. I’m slowly getting there- Perez Hilton here I come!

The photographer with nothing to photograph.
When you’re a photographer at a busy club, you usually find an endless supply of women and different people to take photos of. You get people coming upto you asking for their photo taken. You are a star. Second to being the DJ, or the promoter, being a photographer is just another way to stalk on women. Now, that said, our club photographer had already photographed the other 20 people three times over. So when we walked in, (a whole bunch of men), he pouned on us. Especially on Martin and Myself, since we were wearing Fedora hats. SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP! goes his camera. It’s quite scary.

I put on my headband. SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP! it goes again. He’s trigger happy. If I didn’t feel it before, I really feel like an E-grade Asian celebrity now. Later in the night he stopped taking photos and started dancing. He’s an extremely energetic and good dancer. Perhaps that could be a future career for me.

The bartenders likes us
We are dancing about and ask for water. About half an hour later we ask for water again. By the 3rd time she knows what we want. For some reason we do a dance for her, and then the whole bar is watching Martin pull some slick moves, while I pretend to push a lawnmower. Self amusing indeed.

Coda & Recommendation
Left around 1.30am to try another club.
At this point in time I can’t recommend this place. Bligh Bar seems to be a magnet for mediocre to craptacular events. It might be the venue or promotions, but it’s not good for the opening night.

Bligh Bar Klassic Nights 27th September 2009 – 1.5/5

Bligh Bar sydney 12:30am. At least I had room to dance.

Star Bar
We amzingly managed to get inside, but at 2am, this place was packed as! Seriously it must be the fact that its free entry and on George St. Martin and I dance around a lot.

We are talking to some girls, and we convince them for a dance. “Sure!” they say. They stand up and walk THREE STEPS to the edge of the table and dance. They are way too scared to enter the crowd. Why? Fobby girls are bizarre.

Coda:
We are all kicked out 3am and move on to Cheers

Star Bar 27th September: 3/5

Cheers Nightclub
I had to show Martin this hellhole. It’s something I like to do for people after 3am. There’s only one story worth telling here…

I almost kissed a super short chubby chick
He bumped into a friend who he met at Parramatta. He is hitting on her and her short chubby friend is cockblocking him, so I have to take this grenade. I say hello and ask for her name. She suddenly grabs me and starts grinding on me. It’s pretty sudden, and pretty rough. Why are all the fat chicks so good at dancing?? Her hands are all over me and I am praying to the dance gods that Martin has done something with his girl. Meanwhile, my short friend has turned arond and grinded her ass on me. She is really really into it, and she is also really really drunk. She keeps grinding.. swiping her ass left and right over my general crotch area. Then it happens, I get a hard on. I can’t help it! no matter how much I thought of unsexy thoughts.. her sheer force and willpower to give me a good time worked. I felt ashamed, but my mind started to wonder – maybe she’s good in bed. She pulls me down to her eye-level and she’s looking into my eyes, just waiting for me to make out with her… and I can’t do it. I have already had my fair share of chubby girls in the past, and I could not shame myself again. I hold it off and keep dancing. Eventually after kissing my friend her friend comes back to save he from me. phew!

5 minutes later my short friend is heavily making out with another guy. The sight of this literally made my stomach churn. I couldn’t look at all. However it was worth it.

A guy begs me to call him
A guy we danced 1 minute with asked for my number then pleaded.. made me promise that I would call him so we could hang out – now you’re thinking – he’s gay. But I saw him hitting on a girl before! Well he could be bisexual. I just can’t face calling this guy to hang out with. It’s a little creepy.

Coda:
We leave at closing time. It’s 5.30am. Cheers wasn’t as bad as it usually is, which was funny.

Cheers Nightclub after 3am – 27th September 2009: 1.5/5 for a club open at this time as it was still busy. Seediness did not help.

About Home Nightclub:
Location: Cockle Bay wharf, Darling Habour
Website: http://www.homesydney.com
Inside: All rooms except the mid-wall room was open. Main room on the floor, with upstairs balcony area and 2nd bar. Outdoor smoking area connected to this. A 2nd smaller room on the 2nd level. 3rd level are 2 extra rooms. This place is a maze of rooms.

About Homemade Saturdays:
Assessment Time: 1.30am-3.30am
Dress Code: Casual ok. I was wearing my tuxedo from the wedding. You also get fingerprinted and photo scanned on the way in.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $25
Guestlist: See website
Cloakroom: Yes, at the bar near at the DJ eng.
Bar: $12 yaberbombs.
Music: House in the main room. Can’t complain, all the commercial house tunes were being played. Actually it was executed quite well here. There was also a saxophone player to add another dimension to the music – much like the Bongo players at Bungalow  and Cargo Bar.

Supporting saxaphone player used to great effect with the music

RNB room – RNB of course – but I wasn’t there long enough.

Party tunes and retro at the top level. They seemed to have combined all the rooms into one major huge event.
Crowd: Mixed – Asians, Euros
Atmosphere: Party and vibing in the main room. However the other rooms seemed pretty dead. Especially the RNB room as nobody was there – it was the most dead room of them all. There were a hundred other places where you could have your proper rnb fix – and Home Nightclub doesn’t seem to be popular right now as the place to be for it.

360 from the main podium

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline:
Kicked off the podium by the sexist DJ
There are girls up at the front dancing. Drunk old me wants a dance too! I went up and danced for a good 50 seconds. Then I hear a:

DJ: “OI!”
James: (turns around)
DJ: “GET OFF THE STAGE – NOW!!!”
James: (jumps off stage)

Man.. what a cold DJ. Given, he probably has a lot of drunk guys coming up onto his stage, but fuck you anyway Mr DJ, even if you played really good beats. A minute later I have my female friend go up and dance, and there was no objections. Total sexism!!!

Recognized by girls I took a photo with 2 months ago
There are other girls up on stage. I am a pervert and I take photos of them. They see me and they recognize me:
Girls: ‘OMG! It’s you! You’re the sailor!!’

There was only one time previously I dressed up as a sailor – at an rnb Pajama Party 3 months ago, full of asians. But I did take a photo with 2 euro girls…

With 2 girls and Samurai man at the Pajama party

Ahh.. now I remember them! We take another photo. How on earth does someone recognize an Asian, from the million other Asians in sydney? I don’t know.. I thought we all looked the same !

The girls recognized me 3 months later. Amazing!

Though not as epic as the girl who recognized me 20 months later.. its rare that these things happen, and when they do happen, I never forget them.

Why I only danced in the main room:
The main room was where it was at. Huge elevated podium at the back, and lots of people. I took a break to see the other rooms. RNB room was so dead it wasn’t funny. Upstairs there was another house room, but it was an absolute sausage fest – no way I was going to dance in there.

The other retro room was dead as well. What WAS with Home lately, and why was it so dead?? Whatever happened to the days when Famous was here and it was totally packed? A shame as well nobody here liked the RNB room. The DJ mustv’e been suffering real bad.

RNB Room - Homemade Saturdays at Home Nightclub - oh its so dead

Swapping photo shots:
I looked up and some drunk idiots were waving down. I waved back. They waved even harder back at me. I took out my camera and took a photo of them. They took theirs out and took a photo of me. Pretty funny.

Randoms who took a photo of me. I took one back.

Coda
We left from exhaustion and hunger

Recommendation
You can spend $25 at a better spot for house – such as chinese laundry. I can’t recommend this place as somewher worth visiting unless you just hang around in the main room.. A shame, as last time I came here (when only half the rooms were open) it wasn’t too bad at all. Now that all rooms are open, people are more spread out.. and it gives a more sucky vibe. Hopefully in the future it would pick up.

Entertainment: Cowgirls dancing on tables and a wet t-shirt contest – Thumbs up.

Nightclub Level @ The Gaff Sydney - Full of backpackers. Yes, it's a Tuesday night!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline
You could dance, anywhere
Anywhere except on top of the bar. That was reserved for the dancers. There were people dancing on their tables and chairs, and security had no issue with it. I suppose this relaxed way to go about things made people come back. I met some people who were regulars here, because they loved it.

‘Coyote’ cowboy night:
Cheap cowboy shots, bartenders in their cowboy and cowgirl outfits – it was a pretty good atmosphere. The dancers even dressed in leopard print bikinis and cowgirl pants for their dance. People on the dance floor were mesmerised by these girls dancing away.

Don’t use this pickup line I made up:
I was literally bored of these cowgirls dancing and not showing any more skin. So I thought of an ingenious pick up line to try:
James: “If I get bored of watching cowgirls in their bikinis dance on the podium, does that make me gay?”
2 Girls: “um…. ok” (they look away)
BARRED! Well, that worked well.

Wet T-shirt contest
Further to glamourize the way women should be, the men were asked to leave the dance floor. The remaining girls were then asked to participate in a wet t-shirt contest for a $200 prize! Woot! I’m starting to really like this place.

Coda

Xav wanted to leave for another venue. Pussy. Why? It was so good here. Anyway if you ever find yourself with nothing to do on a Tuesday night – The Gaff is a high recommendation!

Me, Storm with some backpacker friends

Venue 2: Scruffy Murphys
We lasted 10 minutes here before leaving. Xav wasn’t feeling it here either. The music was loud and the venue was pretty busy here as well, with the band upstairs and the DJ downstairs at the vault. Probably the second busiest place in Sydney after the Gaff.

Venue 3: 3 Wise Monkeys
Asessment time: 12:45-1:30am
Music: Mix – Top 40, rnb, and even a reggae song.
Crowd: Mixed nationalities.
Atmosphere: Dead. About 5 people on the dancefloor as we got in, and about 20 people onlooking. A very stark contrast to Scruffy’s and The Gaff.
Cover Charge / Entry Fee: None
Dress Code: Casual OK

Timeline
Bouncer toys with us asians:
So we got in but he asks us to stand around. He asks management on his earpiece ‘Are these the 3 shooters that were here earlier?’ Like wtf! He seemed half serious but it was probably a joke. I laughed, and Xav and Storm had no idea what he was talking about. By this time, Xav had gone deaf from the loud music from the previous venues, and I had to repeat the joke twice.

Operation: Take over dancefloor
We got upstairs to the dance area. So dead its not funny. That is until James came along.

1. Say hello to everyone
There were two couples dancing and an Indian guy. I jumped right into the dance floor with a bit of a boogie. People see me. I like it. I run and hi-5 Indian guy. He seems really happy to see me. I hi 5 the asian couple. She gives me the sloppiest hi-5, its like a floppy-stroke-5. I run to the other couple. Hi give guy and the girl.

2. Dance with the hottest girl
She ditches the guy and does a bum dance with me – for quite some time. I look over and he’s off the dance floor. So they weren’t a couple after all, and I had cut his grass within the space of a minute, simply because I can do a superior bum dance. I look around and there’s a group of about 6 guys staring at her and me. I think they are her friends. Oh I feel bad now, so I dragged Xav up to the bathroom and left the girl to go back to her friends.

Back down, the girl is still dancing with her friend. She gravitates towards us. She likes me, and I really think about taking her somewhere else, but GOD why did this floor have to be so dead – there is nowhere to hide with this girl! So I just play dumb innocent dancer. Eventually her man-friends take her away and out of the club, since they were so bored.

3. Claim Kingship
By this time I am King of the dance floor. Population 4.

Being stared at:
The asian couple were here with 3 other girls. Storm thinks they’re of Hmong descent. I have no idea what nationality they are but they look Asian. They have been staring at me dancing the whole time since I entered. Being a King of the dance floor is not easy. There was another group of asians were staring at me as well as some African dudes, but I didn’t get a chance to talk to them.  The Hmong girls are still staring at me, just begging me to approach them…

Converting starers into dancers
Storm and I managed to get all of the girls out dancing to the floor. The crazy indian guy then joins us. He is just a random guy hitting on one of the girls. She doesn’t fend him off, and she doesn’t like him but her friends don’t save her, and her friends basically let her get mentally raped by this guy. He’s even gone for a kiss but she waved him off, while she still sitting there. Even she isn’t standing up for herself. So me and Storm had to save her. Storm went up to her and simply dragged her away. She complied quite easily, and we kept dancing.

Coda
The girls at this time were finally warming up, but Xav and Storm, and I were tired, so we left. I scored the phone number of the guy. Great move James, great move. 3 Wise Monkeys is not recommended for Tuesday night unless you like desolate dancefloors, and you want to be a King.

Me, Hmongs and Storm. 4th girl not in this photo was being harassed by creepy Indian guy at this point in time