Ly and I are visitng the Gold Coast. We just left The Bedroom nightclub, and we are following girls, being the single men that we are. Somehow, we ended up outside Melbas..  so here we go!

Melbas Nightclub

Assessment Time: 02:40am-04:30am
Website: http://www.melbas.com.au
Address: 46 Cavill Avenue, Surfers Paradise QLD
Door Policy / Dress Code: Casual OK
Cover Charge / Entry Fee: $10. Free if a guestlist was organised
Guestlist: Email info@melbas.com.au
Inside: Two levels. Ground has lengthy bar in the middle. Stools / tables everywhere. An outdoor seating area. Out the back is a dancefloor. Upstairs is more cosy. VIP area at back for private functions (?), 3 large podiums at the front dance area. 2 Poles to dance with. I can’t think of any place in Sydney that has poles! (The retro might have some but I can’t recall). Long bar on the side wall
Bar: Short to no lines, thanks to the huge bar. Pricing unknown as we scored free drinks all night.
Music: Downstairs is Retro / Classic music, while upstairs is primarily house but the occasional rnb/pop mashup as well.
Crowd: Dominantly White Aussie. I think me and Ly were the only asians here. No problem, as everyone was friendly here. People of all ages were about. It does remind me of The Retro Bristol Arms back in Sydney, but it seemed cooler here.

Melbas Nightclub - Upper Level

Video Tour:
Right after we got inside. Ground level and moving upstairs:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline:

Bypassing the Entry Fee:
Girl: “$10″.
That was enough for me and Ly to not enter Melbas. It was almost 3am already. We walked out and bumped into a man:
Man: “Hey, do you want free entry into Melbas?”
Us: “sure!”
Man: “Here, put these on”
He gave us a MELBAS wristband each, and an extra two just because he didn’t need them. Surely there was a catch…
Man: “There’s no catch. Go upstairs and these wristbands will give you access to the bar tab all night”

SOMETHING IS WRONG, but how could we refuse so many free things? Walked up to the same girl, but this time we showed her our new wristbands
Girl: “Oh that’s strange…
Me: (gulps)
Girl: “… you haven’t got stamps! Let me stamp you”.

Wow. So we got stamped in for free!

Trying to get free drinks with our wristbands of power
We had our new power wristbands. So we marched upstairs to the bar and ordered some drinks.
Girl: “That’ll be $20″
So we waved her our wristbands
Girl: “Ill have to check with the manager”

She walked to the manager. He looked at us, and we madly shook our wristbands. We have the wristbands of power damnit!!
Manager nods his head.
Girl: “Manager says ok”
Yes! We had access to the bar tab!! So we plied ourselves with free drinks all night, thanks to a stranger on the street. What a nice place.

The VERY FIRST video of me dancing!
Dear Reader – if you have not danced with me yet, then you are about to see something spectacular – witness me dancing at a club, in the comfort of the internet!! I suppose it is about time a video was made of me.

Watch as I pick up two girls through the sheer power of DANCE:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Ok, ok…  so that was pretty embarrassing. Though, dancing with me is an HONOUR, why don’t girls understand this?

Perhaps trying to dance with girls at 4am doesn’t come on as sleazy enough.

Bride to bes and her fetish
Pretty much the first girls to dance with us were a bride to be and her friends. Bride was fun, but her friends didn’t want to really dance with us. No love. I am looking through the photos, and she is holding her penis in every photo. Was this supposed to be a sign? I found it bizarrely funny:

Melbas Nightclub Gold Coast - With the bride and her favourite toy. She is also holding a penis thing.

Downstairs - pretty dead at 4am
We went downstairs as upstairs was dying. It was more dead down here though. Probably 10 people were left. All the guys were vulturing on the 2 or 3 women left. Sad, sad, sad.

We danced romantically to the song “and …I had, the time of my life…” to the entertainment of the bar staff, then we left.

Coda
Through sheer exhaustion we left at 4.30am to go to the beach. The place upstairs was still busy. I’m not sure what this place is like at peak hour, but I would assume it is very packed – I would recommend this place for the older crowd who like their retro and house, while still being able to get away from the 18 year olds.