Jesus with worshippers at Bamboo

Bamboo @ Martin Place Bar – 17th July 2010
Assessment Time: 11:00PM – 04:00AM
Opening Hours: 10:30 PM- 04:00AM
Lockout: None
Website: http://www.urbanagent.com.au , http://www.martinplacebar.com.au
Address: 51 Martin Place, Corner of Elizabeth Street Sydney
Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual allowed. Half the dudes are smart casual, and the other half are just.. casual. Girls are all in dresses and wearing their faces. Lots of pretty girls. And they’ve relaxed policy somewhat – they have allowed hats to be worn inside!
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free entry all night if you wore white. Otherwise standard cover charges apply. $20 on guestlist before midnight. Free on guesetlist if you get to the counter before 10:30 (small chance), and $25 after midnight.
Guestlist: eric@urbanagent.com.au
Occurence: Every Saturday only.
Inside: Walk into a small bar to hold about 150 or so people – DJ at the front corner. Bar on the right hand side of the venue,taking up half of the floor space. 4 podiums are dotted along the length of the dancefloor, including one with a dancing pole. Small private area at back but was really open to anyone who walked in. Outdoor smoking and BBQ area on the left of the venue.
Cloak Room: $5 for all items.
Bar: I can’t remember. 3 ABC shots for $36 ?
Music: Primarily Hip Hop / RnB tonight. Top 40 and Commerical House mashup as well. DJ’s are mixing it well, keeping the crowd always active and dancing.
Crowd: Dominantly Asian. I spotted 2 white girls, 3 black guys as the minorities here tonight. There were probably a few more handful of the minorities. Age wise it varied, but most people I met were in their early 20′s. It seems as all the teens have gone to Funky. Bad news in a few years time for Bamboo as they would soon have no base.
Entertainment:Theme tonight was White. White balloons all over the place. MC to keep things going. Podium dancers, but only one or two. BBQ outside to feed your tummy. Similar to Shanghai Nights (well, it is the same promoter)
Atmosphere: At its peak, the place is extremely packed, and you would be hard pressed to find some floor space to dance – you would really need to hop up on the podiums to have your own dance action. Outside of peak periods it was still pretty busy. Most of the crowd are singing along to the songs, so pretty vibrant.
Video: 360 of Bamboo @ Martin Place Bar (at the back)

Click here to view the embedded video.

Jesus have a hairband

My hair got caught up
My wig hair is about shoulder length. Bamboo is a very very packd event. Inevitably my hair got caught up in many peoples zipper jackets, and it was pretty annoying. Also while dancing, the hair would get caught in the rings that girls were wearing. Pretty annoying for the girl, but I found it funny.

Balloons are not fun
Someone tied up three balloons to the back of my hair. For a fleeting moment I had the insane idea of repeating what I did last year at Bligh Bar, but quickly brushed it away. Anyway, the balloons on my hair didn’t last long – after they got entangled in one of the chandeliers, I had to manually undo it from my hair. It was an embarrasing look, standing in the middle of the dancefloor undoing these balloons.

I fooled one girl
Girl: “Can I wear your wig?”
James: “its real”
Girl: “nah, its not!” (tugs the wig and by sheer luck, it manages to stay on in place ) “OH MY GOD IT IS REAL! I’m so sorry I pulled it!”
James: “Yup”

Girls who look like who they have seen Jesus. Oh wait…
You walk around and a girl turns around. She look and YELLS IN HORROR like she saw a ghost. It happened twice. It really is amazing how scary I look, right? haha. I love this outfit.

Pole dancing
There is Korean looking chick who has taken pole dancing classes. Look at the pic and look at the crowd, all amazed at her style. Show off, but I must admit, it was hypnotizing.

Upside down pole dancer shows off

Multiple podiums (The Jason effect)
Last year when I went to bamboo, they had 2 small podiums, and one would always be dominated by Jason, the resident Korean bum dancer. Tonight, they have installed four podiums. I do suspect that it was a mitigation against podium hogs, and it has worked – you can dance on one podium and people around you will love you, but other dancers on the other end of the club are staring at their own podium. Focus is mostly on the pole dancing podium, to see what tricks people can get upto on it.

Standard dance moves while wearing robes or looking like Jesus
If you ever find yourself in the presence of a Jesus lookalike, or wearing holy robes, here are some holy moves that I discovered that would certainy send a message to the heavens above to let them know you ain’t gonna stop partying in heaven:

- The prayer: Simple yet effective, clasp your hands together in a prayer position. From here, keep your hands together and move up and down. Bend over for effect. For variation, move hands in a circle or above your head to move to a Thai / Egyptian style dance.

- The Hallelujah: A bit more daring, and effective with robes. Both hands in a diagonal manner away from your body, and pump them up and down at the elbows, with palms open, reaching for the sky. It’s a real crowd pleaser if you are up on stage, as it is very easy to follow. See images above on demonstation.

- The Holy Whip: Again, a robe only dance move, and the ad-hoc adaptation of the classic wind up your towel and whip the other dude. Grab a part of your robe that is dangling off and hold it about 1 metre up from the base. Lift it up and fling it quickly back and forth onto a persons buttocks. Perform the fling quicker for a better ‘ouch’ effect.

Here’s a video of me dancing

Click here to view the embedded video.

Really really packed. ugh.
During the hour at around 11:30PM until about 1:30AM the main dancefloor is undanceable. You stand in the dancefloor trying to dance, but you end up just letting people through your circle or bumping into other people. You either would have to dance at the far back where it was boring, or way at the front, where it was similarly away from the action. However it was still somewhat danceable.

I saw my cousin!
Ran into my cousin. He’s 23 and engaged already. His fiance was there as well. He couldn’t believe what I was wearing. His best friend was there who met me before, but I had no idea who he was, haha. Anyway we had a chat and he asks where my girl was. I pointed to a girl I met at the bar – he understood the bro code and pushed me back to her. I love him.

Too hard to hold a conversation
Being as awesome as Gandalf the white has its downsides. Primarily that I could not hold a converation with any person – male or female for longer than 5 minutes. I would have someone else run up and tell me how awesome they thought my outfit was or how they wanted a photo. How could I not take these compliments or photo opportunities. Many thought I was working here. Aww hell no!! A girl even asked for my business card. It got me dreaming of a business card – it’ll be one of those cards that when you open up, would play a random RnB or House tune in similar vein to classic old school mobile phone tunes! Awesome:

CLUBBING WITH JAMES TRAN
‘THAT GUY WHO NEEDS A LIFE’
Nightclub and event reviews at:
www.JamesTran.net

Hmm.. I like it! I might go make some.. they’re not expensive to make. Watch this space.

Arrivederci
Kicked out at closing time. Place had about 20 people still in it when they finally kicked us out.

Post mortem
Busted by someone who saw me at the last white party
Outside Verandah Bar: JAMES! JAMES!! He screams. Who the fuck is this guy coming up to me?
JAMES!! YOU’RE WEARING THE SAME OUTFIT AGAIN!
Oh shit. Totally busted. It was a guy who I met at the I Heart Uni White Party a few months ago. I remembered him and we had a good old chat. Luckily nobody at Bamboo came up to say they recognized me

Recommendation
It’s a nice place to meet people, but its way too squashy to dance during peak hours.

Bamboo @ Martin Place Bar – 6.5/10

Tonight is boxing day. I am at World Square Pub, while my dance buddy Marty visits his new found glory hole Bamboo @ Martin Place Bar and bumps into my friend Special K. I was meant to turn up but I happily dogged them for the once off Funky Buddha event tonight – Anyway Marty has been kind enough to write a review for the website for tonight!!! (As of April 2010) Both Marty and Special K have made an established name for themselves at the venue, amongst patrons and staff, thanks to their ‘incredible’ dancing. So read on below my dear reader, and delve into the thoughts of one half of the new dance couple of Bamboo!

BAMBOO @ Martin Place Bar: 26th December 2009 [Boxing Day]

( Review submitted  by Marty )

Assessment Time: 10.20 PM – 3 AM
Address: 51 martin place corner of Elizabeth Street, Sydney
Dress Code: Casual tonight. Although security stated a “No hat” policy, I was not harrassed to take my hat off at all inside at any time. The Asian girls here dress to impress in tight fitting cocktail dresses.
Entry fee/Cover Charge: A scandalous $25 general entry, $20 Guestlist.
Inside: DJ stand at the front towards the entrance, opposite the admissions booth. One room, a bar turned dance club so the whole floor serves as a dancefloor; moderately spacious for about 50 - 70 people, but usually packed like sardines since the crowds always exceed that amount by at least triple and a half. Two bars, main bar along the left side wall, smaller bar in a VIP section at the back. More lounges for general use towards the far back right and a cloakroom there as well. Two square platforms along the right side for the brave and the wild [One usually occupied by JASON the notorious Bamboo Bum dancer] and a podium with a Pole on it for pole dancing!

VIP section has three lounges enough to fit about 12 people comfortably, with standing space and a table in the centre of it for mingling.

Large outdoor smoking area, not very sheltered so some of the drizzle was getting on the floor and people were getting a little damp but no one seemed to mind.
Cloakroom: Yes

Music: Predominantly RnB/Hip Hop, some House. DJ was decent with his mix.
Entertainment: Live MC keeping things fresh, and professional dancers on the platform for some decent intervals throughout the night, scantily clad and quite decent looking! There were even some majorly buff male strippers in bowties at the start of the night dispensing some sort of promotional freebies for the ladies.
Crowd/Atmosphere: Crowd is almost saturated with asians. I might have seen about 4 people that were caucasion the whole night. There was a decent turn out for Boxing Day, floor got reasonably packed towards midnight, but not as terrible as what I’m used to other times I’ve done Bamboo, and a lot better than some other clubs such as Chinese Laundry where ventilation is shocking.

Very laid back atmosphere due to the RnB, but still totally pumping. It was Boxing Day and everyone was in a great mood. There was only one scuffle with some Koreans getting a little hot under the collar, but no one was thrown out since it dissolved in a hurry and no punches were thrown. Security was quite relaxed tonight - a good many of the people I was hanging out with that night were pretty much falling off the platforms blind drunk with 8 standard drinks in them but yet no one was removed due to intoxication.

Timeline

I am alone.
I ordinarily despise Bamboo. Asian crowds usually don’t do it for me, and Bamboo usually has more asians than China. The only reason I came tonight was to wingman for James! Funny that since he did not even turn up at all that night LOL So for the first hour I did not know anyone.

I am not alone.
I start talking to the fellow next to me. His name is Eddie. Next to him is Special K. Special K is friends with James! I now know people and am no longer alone. SK is also friends with two other girls who also know James and she makes the introductions. I met them previously at Haymarket hotel but only briefly. We all mingle at the edge of the dancefloor. No one is really drunk enough to dance yet. I would have, but I was determined to keep a low profile tonight since I was tired of bouncers tyring to kick me out of clubs when sober. (James’ note: Marty was kicked out of the bottom drinking area of World Square Pub for dancing, and appearing drunk. )

I am a pole dancer.
I get Special K totally plastered with double vodkas and lime. Apparently Special K becomes a VERY provocative dancer when sloshed. I did not know this [Okay, yes I totally knew this and totally exploited that fact]. We get up on the podium. We start pole dancing. I am making it up as I go along. Somehow the two of us are rewriting the Karma Sutra Pole Dance manual and it looked HOT! The crowd went beserk. We keep this up for about 2 songs. I remember I’m supposed to be low profile. I get paranoid and get off the podium expecting security to escort me outside at any moment.

I am a slut.
The rest of the night I am whoring myself out. The girls are not shy at all tonight. This was the most unconventional asian crowd ever! The Pole podium is always occupied by at least three people, greasing it up and grinding. Girl on girl quite often. Some topless guys were on there a number of times. Special K spent most of the night up there going absolutely psykotic. Her friends are all totally bangin’ and know how to move to make a man happy! One of them pulls me up on the podium and before I know it she is all over me. She is drunk off her chops and deliriously happy. We are making out shortly after.Her friends do not intervene and neither does my conscience. I buy her a drink. She requests WET PUSSY and has sex in her eyes when she says it! We are pretty much having our way with each other all the way to the bar. Throughout the night I am dancing with everyone. A girl invites herself up to the podium and starts working her body against mine. She is a total wet dream! Turns out her brother was there watching but did not intervene!

Arrivederci:
Left at 3.00 close. Danced out, pimped out, and very surprised that it was a great night out at Bamboo. Not the mediocre Chinatown sort of experience I remembered at all.

Recommendation:
The night probably wasn’t representative of how Bamboo is on an ordinary Saturday since it was Boxing Day. Most of the crowd was at Equilibrium / World Square Pub [see review Funky Buddha once off at WSP] and Arthouse from what I hear, so it was a lot less crowded than usual. Bamboo is usually the last place I’d recommend for a raging good night on the dancefloor especially if that ludicrous $25 is the standard cover charge, but independently that night would have rated a solid 8/10.

11 Quick Club reviews as seen from outside the club aka Window Shopping – 19th December 2009. (Northern Sydney CBD)

Saturdays @ Star Bar on George St
- Packed. However we had overdosed lately on Star Bar and its amusing crowd of non-english speaking tourists. It was a no go tonight, no matter how tempting it was to go inside there.

PS. I no longer write reviews when I visit star bar, as I visit this place too much.

Saturdays @ Arthouse on Pitt St (1am)
- Tonight was not an ‘Asian’ night (Fame), but it was a white-crowd event. House music was playing outside, and there was no line outside – it looked pretty shit inside from the outside. There was a cover charge.

Saturdays @ The Vault on Pitt St
- We walked by this bar and heard RNB music playing! Whoa, we have to try it out. We walk up to the entrance and there is a smallish dance floor with about 15 people dancing on it – it was almost dead, but better than Pavillion. However the bouncer refused us entry on the excuse of ‘a private function’. We were 4 guys so it was understandable, but the private function excuse didn’t seem congruent, as there was no second person to confirm a guestlist. Whatever, it was dead.

Saturdays @ Coolabar
- Music is pumping out, tape and escalators are in operation to the bar upstairs. There are two people outside. It was on! We know Coolabar is a shithole, but we want to wow the crowd inside, if there was one.

We run up but the two people inside tell us we can’t go inside, as the place is closed. What!?! You wonder why some places are even open at all if they are closing at 1.30am on a Saturday night.

Bamboo @ Martin Place Bar
- The line is shorter than usual, but there *is* a line, which is better than the other places so far. Entirely asian, and RNB playing outside, it is tempting to go inside, but all four of us were not big fans of paying $25 to go inside. People inside had santa hats on. We could see Jason the resident Korean bum dancer hogging the podium from the outside.

Security came up and spoke with us. We had a short fun chat and perved on some girls walking by, you know, typical man stuff. Security was called to kick out a drunk person. Moments later he is walking out with a drunk girl and 3 of her girlfriends supporting her. haha, it is not classy at all to see a drunk girl, let me tell you that. Security tells the girls it is all ok, and wraps his arms around the two girls beside him. LOL omg he is hitting on drunk girls outside of thd club – I want to be a bouncer now!!! haha, what a sneaky sleaze.

Funky Buddha @ Verandah Bar on Castlereagh St (Martin Place)
Here they recently opened the trance room again (after a 3 or 4 year absence). Cover is $20, crowd is asian, music is RNB and trance.

We ask some girls who left Funky Buddah if it was any good.
“Average” was the reply. It was in other words, shit. There was, though, a line outside, so it must be somewhat ok.

I do want to check it out as it’s been a while, and I have to see how the Trance room looks now.

Saturdays @ Red Room Hotel Chambers on Castlereagh St (Martin Place)
We were able to peek inside from the entrance – and even though it looked crowded, it didn’t seem like a fun atmosphere. Music was old school RNB, with a cover charge of $20 and an asian crowd.

Tank Nightclub (Bridge lane)
OneLove moved to the Bourbon about a month ago, and we did not know if there was any event, so we took a punt and walked here. It was, unfortunately, closed. (At the time writing, Onelove @ the Bourbon has also shut its doors)… I think I might start a new event here! ha.

20/20 @ Brooklyn Hotel (George St Circular Quay)
Ever since Privilege closed for renovations a few weeks ago, promoters Hypnotize moved their Saturday event to Brooklyn and joined with Urban Agent to help out. The result is that my favourite place to go for free drunk girls and $17 Vodka Red Bulls has turned into a cover charged event full of not so drunk people. I yearn for the former glory days of seediness.

I peek inside the main rnb room and it is pretty packed. I go around the back and look down in the outdoor courtyard area where they are playing house/trance. Back in the no-cover charge days, the place usually had 5-10 people dancing max, while the others sit and watch. Now with the help of the promoters, the entire back area as PACKED. Jesus fucking christ I could not believe what I was seeing – Brooklyn Hotel actually packed out! I could not see any concrete, it was just a sea of people standing up, dancing and cheering. It looked pretty awesome. The bartenders must be having a hard time adjusting to actually having to work non-stop.

However my friends, still don’t want to go inside. They are pretty adamant about not going inside here, considering the crappy times they had the last few times. haha.

Also, regular patrons here (i.e. the islanders) were lining up to get in, not knowing that they need to pay entry. There were some outside, thinking of other places to go. So the crowd inside was a mix of islanders, asians and aussies. Cover charge I am guessing is $20. Based on what I saw, it looks good.

Sienna @ Establishment on George St
We are just walking by. They’re playing house music, though I had thought Sienna was an RNB event. The crowd is dominantly Euro, and cover charge is $20. I do need to check this place out too. It looked pretty busy from what we could see

Saturdays @ Ivy on George St
Loud, and looking quite busy. We can’t see inside from the street but we can hear people cheering from the inside. Sounds like fun. Am definitely going to spend a night here one day next year.

Saturdays @ Bar 333 on George St (2am)
Bottom level was closed and upstairs looked pretty dead.

Arrivederci
By this time we have given up, and we have managed to end up back where we started – standing outside Star Bar. I was dying to do any form of dance, but friends were puffed out from walking up and down the CBD for 2 hours. Fair enough, but I wish they were keen for a dance!! So we called it a night.

Recommendation
If I had to pick a club tonight, it would be 20/20 @ Brooklyn Hotel.

Birthday girl is already spewing her guts out
I took a photo with the birthday girl sitting down. After the photo, she sits up and empties out the contents of her stomach onto the floor. Absolutely disgustingly hilarious stuff. Apparently her 4th chunder that night.

Chasing for a girl’s number – is it worth the pain of being kicked in the balls? (a long story)
I went up on the podium and did a pirate dance. A girl comes up and dances with me. Right into the grinding. The physicality started when we were asked to get off the podium. She pushes me off. I help her down and her hand goes for my nuts, but she punches it and tries to kick them – WTF. I walk away, amused a girl would do that. She must’ve been drunk, or was it that she was Korean – are they all this violent?

A few minutes later we see her again. She tries to hit me again in the nutsack and I grab her arm. So with her other free arm she slaps me on the face!! WTF! she laughs. I pull her and she goes to hit me in the balls again. I grope her boobs in return, haha. She then tries to kick me in the balls. She’s fucking crazy. It was then, I decided I wanted to have this girl even if it took all night.

Return to friends but I want to grind with her again. I see her but some super tall asian, muscly man is talking to her, and she’s sorta grinding with him. She sees me and comes right up to me and slaps me again! Bloody hell. I tell her where the hell she’s been. She says
hb: “why dont you go away and talk to your other hot girls?”
me: “i haven’t been talking to other girls!”
hb: “you liar! go away! go talk to your other hot girls” (she proceeds to go back to the tall asian guy and hugs him. No kissing though, perhaps to make me jealous)
But as us men know, “no” means “yes”. Hahaha

10 minutes later, I look for her and find her. Tall muscly guy still with her. She sees me and goes after me and another SLAP. I hold her waist and she holds my hand and she grinds with me. But the other guy is coming up. I ask if her boyfriend approves of us dancing. She says she only met the guy tonight. He comes up and talks with me. I don’t wanna talk to him! I drag her away from the guy as fast I can. She is trying to kick me in the balls still. I push her against the wall. She stops resisting. We make out. Sweet victory is mine!!

The moment is short lived, as yet again, he comes right up next to us and wants to talk! I AM SO OVER THIS GUY! UGH!! So he gets her hat and puts it on himself then taps me on the shoulder and asks:
him: ‘does this hat look good on me?’
me: “no. it looks better on me” (takes hat and puts it on myself)
I was either going to be bashed or not. Luckily it was the latter and he disappears.

She walks off and then dances with my friend to get me jealous. My friend knows what she’s trying to do. Luckily, there were two girls nearby. I went right up and chat to them and dance with them, the whole time making sure she could see everything. Two can play this game, hmph!! She quickly left my friend and came back to me. A pash, then her girlfriend comes along and drags her away. A super number swap and she’s gone. That took 90 minutes and most of my night. What freaking hard work.

Coda – I am recognized from 2 weeks ago!
Close to closing time, she came up to me and told me she recognized me!
me: “really?”
her: “yup! You were wearing the same pirate costume – I even know what your name is – it’s James!”
I didn’t know her name nor did I even recognize her. Most importantly, I was busted wearing the same outfit twice!! Damn. She was really friendly but had a boyfriend. Oh well. She  danced with the 3 of us boys left. By this time the lights had switched on and nobody else was dancing. The last songs were a Michael Jackson tribute (he had died the previous day) so we danced in his honour. RIP big boy.

Me and my dance buddy - the last dancers at Bamboo tonight. Kept on dancing even when the lights were on!

I really don’t like coming here, but the girl had never been to bamboo (she’s 18) and wanted to check it out. I can’t blame her for trying at least once. I had nothing else on so I thought I’d give the event another chance. Here we go..

Bamboo @ Martin Place Bar:

Cover Chage/Entry Fee: (on guestlist) free before 10.30, discounted entry up until midnight. If not on guestlist its $25

Crowd: Asian, mostly teenagers/early 20s crowd.
Dress Code: Casual/Smart Casual allowed. My pirate bandana was allowed. Hats not allowed if you try to walk past the cashier, but people wore them in the club anyway.
Music: RNB. DJs were pretty good at mixing up. MC included.
Opening Times: 10.15pm-4am
Entertainment: Male stripper.
Atmosphere: Around 11.30-midnight as the place got busier, with the dance floor pretty much getting packed to the rafters inside. It was pretty much a party atmosphere inside.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline

We lined up and got in before 10.30. Basically they opened the doors at 10.15. You would have to be in the first 20 or so patrons to get the free entry. Thats 20 x $25 = $900. No wonder they open up so late.

Dancefloor dead, so we try to pickup:
My friend wanted to go out and pickup some girls. So we went around and instead of dancing around, I actually attempted conversation with these things called women.

With lines like:
“i like your shoes..”

“guess what? its my birthday!”
and other random things.. we didn’t get very far. People were more amused at the fact I had drawn a moustache and goatee my face:

Me dancing on the podium at Bamboo

JASON.. what happened tonight?
Saturday night at Bamboo is Jason’s spot to hang. Jason is the awesome korean bum dancer you may have seen before. All my friends know who he is but only refer to him as ‘that crazy dancer guy who is always up on the podium at bamboo’ as though he’s some alien! He’s got a name you know guys! It’s.. JASON! So I saw Jason – the second time this year and asked for a photo. I don’t think he recognized me in my pirate gear, but he’s always up for a photo. He wasn’t looking his best though:

I always wonder when will I ever be as good as a dancer as him. Probably never.

Legendary dancer Jason and I - Bamboo

‘Are you gay?’ – proving her wrong the only way I know how.
Some pretty girls come up. Asian americans. Photos are taken. A bit of conversation. Then one asks ‘are you gay?’. What!? That’s two nights in a row. It must be some vibe I’m giving out. So to prove her wrong, I went up and pashed her . After a good few seconds her friends go ‘wooooo!’. I think, overcome by embarrasement, or my sheer sexiness as a pirate, she breaks off and RUNS away outside!! Oh well. My friends tell me off for scaring the hot chicks away.

Kissing a girl after she called me gay.

The stripper
When they announced him onto the podium, EVERY GIRL in the club runs up and forms the tightest circle around the pdoium to get as close as they can to the male stripper. The girls went wild. You can see all the guys either watching out of interest or because they have nothing else to do. I had already had my fair share of male strippers a few months ago at Bligh Bar (before it was dumped by urban agent), so I went somewhere else, away from the madness. I took one photo, which was enough:

Male stripper - bamboo martin place bar sydney

Coda

Girls got tired at 2am, and we left.

I actually enjoyed myself tonight, as much as I hate to admit it.

Bamboo @ Martin Place Bar
Music: RnB
Crowd: Asian
Dress Code: Casual
Cover Charge / Entry Fee: $25 non guestlist after midnight. Guestlists are available from website.
Occurrence: Every Saturday
Website: www.urbanagent.com.au
Atmosphere: Crowded

Review
It was already 1am and it took me about 30 minutes to get in as it was pretty much crowded inside. The big difference between tonight and last year was that they opened up the side windows.. and it was actually not hot inside ! Wow.. very impressed. However by opening the windows, the smoke outside from the cigarettes come drifting into the room.. booo. I guess they had to choose whatever was the lesser of two evils in terms of a better clubbing experience.

Didn’t do much except try to hog the podium as much as possible.

Music: RnB… generally good all night. There was a period later in the night where the DJ played 2 house songs. Just two songs – I loved it, but the crowd was… still. Suddenly he puts on RnB again, and all the hands are in the air again.. crowd going crazy.

Entertainment: Dancers! MC also held up throughout the night to keep things going

Podium time
Most of it was me and Joe. Other times included this indian guy who came up and danced with me. Looking back to where he was looking, his friends were cheering him on. It was a dare. So I grinded back and well.. he didn’t seem too fazed about it. Darn.

Also some random chick was taking pics of me, so I pulled her up for a bit of a boogie .

Coda:
Despite the small tiny size and packed croweds, its a good place for Asian RnB on saturday night. I still would personally prefer to go to a house club considering the $25 entry.

Heres a podium girl photo

Jason the solo bum dancer was there .. head fresh shaven.. and shirt soaked in his sweat. Loi was there and followed Cheryl around the place as normal.

I had a fancy blonde wig on. Steven joined me in dancing most of the night.

We got in 1am, spent $20 on cover charge and left at 3am.

Music was good. Crowd was okay. Venue is still too small for my liking.

I still don’t recommend this place. It charges too much. You would be better to go to Scary Canary – same size and it’s $15.

About karma: This was the 3rd iteration of the Karma nights.

Crowd: Entirely indian except for 3 people – me, Pat, and a random white girl I spotted.
Music: Bollywood, Punjab and RnB. A short 10 minute house mix featured to break things up.
Cover charge: $15 before 11pm on guestlist. Otherwise $25.
Website: www.hungama.com.au

Experiences:

Getting in
There were so many men lining up! Not much eye candy. I could sense everybody looking and talking about our outfits. The bouncers luckily let us in. The frisker however bagged me out for my “Elvis” sunnies, saying he died a long time ago (Of course, jokingly) ! The security measures were more strict than that of the Asian clubs – we had to put all metal objects in a little bowl and do a little twirl as part of the frisk. Indians must be crazier than Asians. Thanks to Mithi’s phone calls to the organiser, we still got a discounted entry even though it was past 11pm.

The music: The DJ would typically play a well known rnb song sans the original vocals, and overlay it with some hindi or Punjabi ones. Most songs were basically in Hindi / Punjab. You might think that it would suck, but the rnb beats still allowed you to find your rhythm and dance. It worked quite well, even though I had absolutely no idea what the lyrics meant, nor what the words where to sing along to.

Dancing bollywood style: This was totally different to dancing to rnb. Rnb involves lots of bending and low arm movemnts. When a punjab song plays, you instantly put one or both arms pointing in the air. You sing along. Then if possible find another person or crowd to dance with. Once your little circle starts, the circle slowly moves in a clockwise direction, as each person pulls off their own bollywood moves.

Some of the basic bollywood moves I learned that night include:

- Hand thrusting with hands open. (the poke)

- Left to right and right to left arm shaking. (the alzheimer)

- Squatting up and down rapidly in a circle (the yoyo)

- Falling on your knees and throwing some open hand thrusts in front. (mini tank poke) Typically done with someone else oppsite you, also on their knees.

- Taking your right leg, and finding another opposite to join your ankle to, who also uses their right ankle. You then hop around in a circle, hands madly pointing and thrusting wherever looks good. (hills hoist a rama)
On the podium. I think I was doing the poke.

These dance moves are assumed knowledge amongst the indian crowd. Well, the ones I danced with anyway. Basically everybody were pulling off these moves. In any case you could also dance proper rnb style to the punjab music without looking out of place.

The women were doing miserably in the dancing department. Either there was no specialist style for women or they didn’t know how to do it. Either way, there weren’t enough women! It was probably 90 percent guys. Someone I met that night said usually there are more girls than guy at the Bhangra nights. He also recommended to visit Goa during my India trip next year. He even bought me a drink. He’s a… champion!

Champion on the left with a random indian on the right.

Oh master
I used some of the moves to get dancing with the guys. They welcomed me and most tried to teach me some moves, especially up on the podium. It was quite fascinating to see so many people expressively enjoy their dancing. It really made the vibe better. There were so many dance moves that reflected on how much they liked the music. The only equivalent in the common world is to pump your fists in the air or bang your head really hard.

One particular guy always came up to me and danced every now and then. So did this other guy. They looked deep into my eyes as we danced. Perhaps they were gay. I wasn’t sure, but they danced close enough to give me some gay vibes. It was quite weird and scary at the same time. The only time they would walk off was when another guy came up to dance with me. What was I, a woman dressed as a man, or an attractive guy? Or was it normal to dance so close to a fellow man? I was too scared to ask my fellow dancer to not dance so close to me in case he got an erection. Luckily that didn’t happen.

Me and the very close dancer. Perhaps he just felt very happy that night ?

Goodbye glasses There was also no cloak room that night, which was pretty .. stupid. I had lost my prescription glasses as I kept them in my pocket but they somehow popped out. They were never recovered ..

Getting kicked out: Dead tired. Took a break inside but it was too hot. Outside was great. There was a really strong breeze happening that night. I put on my sunnies, and sat against the wall. Bouncers came. They said I had to leave. Why? I looked like I was asleep and used the ‘don’t blame the messenger – blame management’ excuse.

I wasn’t beating anyone up, I wasn’t drunk, I wasn’t creeping any girls… I was just being normal. F*ckers !!

Me, Mithi and Pat, right before I went outside and unceremoniously got kicked out for ‘sleeping’

Summary It was a good night and despite the rude exit, I would do it again for the pure different experience – as long as it wasn’t held at Martin Place Bar and I had another outfit to put on. Opening a cloak room would have helped as well.

About martin place bar:
It’s just a small bar with an outdoor smoking area and pokies at the back. Check out my previous bamboo post for details. Here are some photos I took:

Front DJ Area. There is a podium in front. Jason the solo bum dancer shows us how to use it.

The view from the front to the back. Bar is on the right, outdoor area on the left.

Outdoor area facing North

About Bamboo:
Cover charge is free before 10:30 if you’re on the guestlist, otherwise its $20 for you. If you were on the guestlist but missed the deadline it was $15.

Music: Supposed to be pure Rnb but every hour or so the DJ at the time would play 2 or 3 house songs (they played songs like Fedde le Grand: Put your hands up, Sneaky Sound System: Pictures / I love it .. it was that type of electro house) which got me pumped as well as surprised at the DJ for playing it.. Maybe there is a general trend towards the house scene, well the electro flavour anyway.

Atmosphere: A night of Asians. Home of Jason the bum dancer on Saturday night. A more mature (older, not mental) crowd but also there seems to be more crazy violent Asians, especially outside. Inside was crowded and busy non-stop. Outside was where people had their ciggies and also had their best chance of chatting up the opposite sex. There was also a BBQ outside for hot dogs later that night. A nice place to recover from alcohol as well, which many did.

Entertainment: professional podium dancers came out to show their stuff, and they were sexy. They came on two occasions in the night. You could see all the men drooling, and all the girls wishing.

Tonight’s game was a booty shaking competition. (What a great society we live in where we reward girls to dance promiscuously) Here is a photo of one of the winners:

Horned devil dances like a possessed angel and wins a ticket to an rnb event. The boys love it.

My adventures
Karen le randem:
I get there and the line is about 15 minutes long. Soon a girl yells ‘James!?’ from ahead. I look up: My god, it’s Karen! I met Karen 2 years ago at a party. Ever since, we have just been bumping into each other at random places. I was at the very back of the line and she was at the front, so I got a nice leg up to the front. One of her friends only has a keycard as ID, and is refused entry by the bouncer. The whole group leaves.

The dangers of trusting someone:
“Lenny’s guestlist , my name is Thomas… I’m on Lenny’s guestlist and my name is Thomas..” I say to myself. The guestlist girl ticks me off and proceeds to give me my free pass in. She gives me a discounted pass for $15 instead. What!! Selvi had guaranteed that I would get free entry because it was a VIP guestlist. I couldn’t go back to the Orient Hotel – they started a cover charge fee when I left. What a bad start. I guess that’s karma for being a tight ass. I was still feeling the $25 from last night at space so I wasn’t a happy Jan.

The reason you go clubbing is to…
I met Selvi and her boyfriend Pedro. Met Pedro’s friends. Selvi said that Joe and Meiny were coming. They never turn up that night. Pedro’s friends don’t dance and hang in the outdoor area. Pedro brings a deck of cards and performs magic tricks. Pretty cool. Where are the dancers in you though?!!? One of the older guys shows me a picture why he doesn’t dance anymore at clubs: the picture is of his 20 year old fiancé who works as a model. She is hot as. Thanks for the reminder that I don’t have a girlfriend to shag, mate.

Uptown, downtown, turn the beat around…
I’m finding it hard to find my rhythm, while I see other people dance on the 3 podiums. It is only when the DJ plays the occasional house track I was really truly jumping like a mexican jumping bean. That “uptown” line is from a house song I currently like.. I can’t think of any rnb songs that I am truly into. The closest would be any Snoop Dogg songs, because I’ve been a fan of him for a few years. What i’m trying to say is, I believe I am truly over rnb at asian places. I might have to check out some non asian rnb places if they exist (Tank on friday? Havana?), and see if I feel any different towards it.

Drunken Superwoman:
We’re in the outdoor area when a group of people came in, one of them unable to stand up. We helped put her on a chair. The moment she sat down, we slid to the floor and ended up face down, but she didn’t know any better. She was as happy as Larry while her friends were mad as hell at her for getting drunk. Her friends said she only had 2 drinks, haha. Meanwhile as they restrain her, she kept thinking she was superwoman who was high on marijuana of course, and managed to jump out of her chair and land on the floor again on her face. She felt no pain at all nor any remorse for the trouble she was causing her friends. Hilarious. I wanted to take pics, but her friends would have thought evil of me.

It the end of Bamboo as I club it
Selvi left at 1am. The boys didn’t last long either. Superwoman made up for a lacksture night. I bumped into Karen who came back in before I left. One last photo and it was off to Star City with Pedro’s friends for another adventure…

Summary
Entertainment and organisation was well done. Music would appeal for rnb lovers. Lack of repeating of songs, probably because I didnt stay long enough to endure it. Personally I just had one of those bad nights where I paid to get in despite the guestlist thing, and friends didnt turn up.

Background: Cheryl organised a night out with me, an, hanh and Steven. The purpose was to go clubbing somewhere else besides her usual spot: bamboo @ martin place bar.

ZODIAC HOTEL:

I got an sms the day before to attend zodiac hotel (fomerly diamond hotel) for free, so i booked. Sms claimed rnb, house was to be played. Since cheryl liked her rnb and I my house, I booked a guestlist

About Zodiac Hotel on saturday nights: Located on Pitt St opposite Arthouse hotel. 20 dollar cover charge unless you enter via guestlist before 10:30. On entering, you are faced with quite a sizeable dance floor taking half the space. This is the house area. A quarter of the floor was a walled area for rnb and separate bar. The last quarter was a carpeted area occupied by lounges.

Timeline:

10:20 got in no troubles. No line either. There was already quite the line for kink@arthouse on the opposite side of the road.

pioneers: There was a 30th birthday party going on in the small room, rnb being played. We couldn’t get in there until midnight. Looking at the house floor, we were the first ones there and it looked desolate. Great.

False advertising space: Posters around the walls advertised $3 shots from 10 to midnight, wow! I ordered 5 cowboys (heath ledgers I like to call them) and took out my 20…. “..that will be 40 dollars”. What the hell!?!? 8 dollars each. Fuck. The offer must be for non mixed shots.

The music playing is house and is really good, but the lack of crowd worries me. We speak to one of the people to see if it is ok to enter the rnb room. He says they don’t play rnb. We look at the poster which does not mention rnb to be played that night. So much for that sms.

Hanh goes to the other bar and orders 5 tequila shots. 15 dollars you expect. But no, another $40 slap. This is madness! We took our shots and we left.

Lasted about 40 minutes at zodiac, and never got to find out if it picked up an audience later that night.

Summary: Good house electro beats, but a lack of crowd makes it a lonely lonely place. False advertising for drinks and sms promotions made it also a bitter place.

THE SPANISH CLUB

Background: free entry, last time they played rnb, so why not

About the Spanish club: located off George st near 3 wise monkeys, the name says it all. it’s a restaurant that plays music late at night where the tables are cleared off the floor. Salsa music plays at this time of night. Older type of crowd.

Timeline: we came, we saw, we heard, then we left.

PAVILLION HOTEL

Being just at the pav the night before (see previous post) I wasn’t expecting much of a crowd.

11.20 : Free entry as usual, we were surprised to see the dancefloor packed full of people dancing!

Rnb was being played, and cheryl liked it. I liked it. Hanh didn’t like it. Didn’t understand why though, as the dj was belting out some great rnb tunes. We left around midnight to the very place we did not want to go to…

BAMBOO – Martin Place Bar

About: martin place bar by day, tables and stools are cleared to form a narrow stretch of wooden dance floor. This makes the nights always crowded and probably more fun. There is also an outdoor area for smokers and their regular Saturday bbq. Standard entry is $20 unless you guestlist and enter before 10:30. Crowd is predominantly asian. Music is purely rnb.

Timeline:

midnight: arrival. The girls have free entry, as they know one of the organisers. They suck up and score us boys a free entry VIP pass in. sweet.

The door bitch: everyone enters before me without a hitch. I flash my free entry pass and I’m promptly told “15 dollars please!”. Hey, this is not a discount pass.. its a free entry vip one! What a jib. I pay and go in.

12.30 onwards:

We dance, we prance. I’m wearing hanh’s winter jacket hood only giving me a sort of eskimo look. It gets attention and I keep it on.

Oh my god!!!

I am slithering through the crowd. 2 girls I slither by decide to pull my hood off. I look at both and scream “oh my god!!!”. They both laugh and scream back “oh m god!!”. I yell it back, and they yell omg back again. This Is the most simple yet crazy coversation ever in a while. We laugh and I comment that I’d dance with them later. I depart.

Jason defends his ground.

A brief history of jason: There is a well known dancer who frequents the asian rnb scene named jason. His label is “the solo korean dancer”. His signature move seems to be bending over and wiggling his butt. Every saturday that I have been to bamboo, he is there. It’s his home of calling. If you have bee, you know who i’m talking about. He is also a podium hog, but loves to entertain with his moves. I tried to shake his hand once and tell him how good of a dancer he was, but he totally ignored me.

Back to the jason story: jason is dancing and two guys join him on the podium and push him off. Jason is pissed. He can’t believe someone is stealing his spot on the podium. a small fight happens but is broken up. Jason will never give his his little podium spot without a fight. So jason stands up on the podium, and for the next minute or so pulls moves out of his ass like no tomorrow. Omg a dance off? It could only be described as magical. It was a piece of raw art. He went left, right, upside down, everywhere. He finished off with his signature butt move while glaring at the wannabe podium stealer. The other guy stands and laughs, knowing he can’t beat that jason. Jason takes the podium and resumes dancing. He needs to get out of bamboo and into other places.

Omg girls part ii: the omg girls found me and they took off my eskimo outfit. We trade omg screams at each other. Then they push me into the middle of a dance circle. What the! I had to pull some moves quick, or face shame. I grab th eskimo jacket and do some cancanesque moves with it. The circle loves it. Then I grab the jacket and attempt to marry a girl borat style (remember the wedding sack?). everyone is laughing, except my victim who is feebly yelling for her life. That was fun.

Shortly after security told me to take it off. Poo.

Djs are too predictable

The dj plays some crap song. I talk to an who isn’t dancing. We discuss the song and whinge about how pavillion had better music. An predicts the dj will cut off the chorus and let the crowd sing it (the song is “I wanna dance with somebody”). Funnily enough, the dj cuts the noise at the chorus and lets the crowd sing the line. Has clubbing gone too predictable?

I the make a prediction that the dj will play sexual healing next, and what do you know?? “sexual healing” starts playing!! I’m going to be sick. This is way too predictable..

I like repetitive music

bamboo likes to switch djs. The djs like to not tell each other what songs they play. Result: doubling, and even tripling up of songs played. this really put me off whee a song was doubled up and it happened throughout the night.

Finally we went home, and I spotted some ugly chicks from the car. They waved at me. Then I realized it was the omg chicks from earlier. I mustve been drunk

Summary: bamboo is great to pick up asians but not to dance unless you take the podium and can tolerate repetitive rnb

Pictures up at http://picasaweb.google.com.au/jamestran84/070602ClubCrawl