About Mambos Nightclub
Location: Tito’s Lane, Baga – Calangute Road, Goa, India.
Website: http://www.titos.in/mambo.htm
Inside: One central room with DJ and a bar. Pretty girls are allowed to go up a level to dance along the walls upon steel frames. An Outdoor patio-like area surrounds the main room with a bar for people to relax.
Music: Tonight was House
Crowd: Local Indians and tourists
Dress Code: Casual
Cover Charge / Entry Fee: 800 Indian rupees
Occurrence: Every night
Atmosphere: Relaxed, fun, open.
Timeline

Basically wearing this outfit automatically made me King Dingaling of the club. The security wanted photos with me, the bar staff wanted photos and let me inside their bar as well… as well as a whole heap of other people who wanted photos too.

Bouncers at Mambos asked for a photo with me

Kitchen staff let me in for a photo

Clare.. every 5 minutes reminding me she has a bf while grinding with me

No podium dancing allowed for men : Yeah how dodgy is that? There were girls dancing up, and they stepped down. I wanted to get up, but suddenly a security guard jumped in front of me and told me “Do You Want To Step Outside???”  So wasn’t fair, they let these ugly girls dance, and yet I couldn’t… ? Where’s the justice?

Riding the bull
I rode the damn thing. It costs 100 rupees ($2.50) per ride. I met some guys from Denmark and this guy from America who was off his chops. Whoever lasted the shortest would have to pay next round of drinks. The American lost miserably.

Riding the bull at Mambos

After lots of drinks and hi fives the place closed we moved onto Kamaki Bar up the road..

About Kamaki Bar
Location: Tito’s Lane, Baga – Calangute Road, Goa, India.
Inside: Outdoor patio area with the enclosed indoor area being the dancefloor space. A tiny version of Mambo.
Music: House
Crowd: We got there 3am.. just hardcore dancers or people still trying to pick up or make the most of it.
Dress Code: Casual
Cover Charge / Entry Fee: 300 rupees for the enclosed dancefloor area
Atmosphere: Dying, Hot, Sweaty

Timeline
So after a drink, I head in with Morten the Danish dude and the high American guy. We just dance, and drink.. and drink some more.

Girls: Inside, there were rapidly less girls, about 5 or 6 left. In India, any caucasian female is hot, considering the lack of Indian girls. There was though one nice Indian girl who could really shake her body. She walks up and places an ice cube down my back. Never had that done before at a club! Never got her back.. she had an army of guys hounding her anyway.

Best female dancer, but too flirty with all the other guys! Gave up trying..

Heat, and the man who didnt want to hand over my sunnies: It was so freaking stuffy in there. There was a lack of air conditioning or it was piss weak. It was a sauna in there, and we were regularly stepping outside every few songs for a breather. One time we went outside, one of the Indian taxi drivers managed to get a hold of my yellow sunnies and refused to give them back to me, as he said someone else had given it to him! So dodgy. Eventually I got them back.

Sunrise came, and so did the closing of Kamaki Bar. Next destination was Simba Dayclub.

As Morten said – “Lets party in the JUNGLE!!!”

Indian Guy who wouldnt hand over the sunnies. Morten in the pink

About Simba Club
Location: Calagunte, Goa
Inside: There’s no inside, Just the back of someone’s farmhouse. There’s a dirt floor and a bar, with chairs all around. Looking out, all you can see are plantations of corn or whatever they eat in India.
Music: I dont remember, but some Jamaican stuff / Reggae
Crowd: Dominantly Jamaican / African
Dress Code: Casual
Cover Charge / Entry Fee: Free
Atmosphere: Friendly, non-judgemental. However it was 8am, and everyone looked dead.

Timeline
We managed to get some people from Kamaki to drive here as well.

When we got there, there was a group of black people in the corner just chilling.. and us – 5 guys and 2 girls. I dont even know why I came here. I was cold, hungry, sleepy, and tired.

Don’t ever fuck with someone’s happiness
So one of the girls starts dancing, all alone, and so I stepped up to the dirt floor and did a little jig alongside her. She looks a bit shy as there’s no eye contact, so I didn’t touch her.

One of the local guys calls me over.
“Hey, You have a nice outfit”
“Thank you”
“I have a question. Do you think she is having fun? (the girl dancing on her own)”
“Yes, I do”
“Well, good. Because the way you dress, its good *thumbs up sign*, but the way you act, not good *thumbs down sign*. I only gave you directions to here because you dressed well”
Did he just say The way I act, thumbs down?? I didn’t quite understand. I didn’t know if he was trying to insult me or crack a joke, so I laughed.
“hahaha yes yes”
“No, do you think she is happy right now?”

“yes?”
“Well, don’t fuck with her happiness!!“
*confused look* “er.. ok!”

I can’t believe he said that. You fuckface, just cause you can’t fucking dance doesn’t mean you can fuck my happiness. How is dancing near a girl fucking with happiness??? How does one fuck happiness anyway???? FUCK. build a fucking bridge. Stay in your dirt floor bar and I hope nobody fucks with your happiness too. Fuck!!

@ Simba with a girl who came from Kamaki - I apparently fucked her 'happiness' according to someone else

Coda
So, I wasn’t happy, but I was hunrgy. I left to the hotel to eat breakfast, real bloody tired

Our group takes a last photo before splitting. Danish, British, Aussie, and Local Indians