Jesus with worshippers at Bamboo

Bamboo @ Martin Place Bar – 17th July 2010
Assessment Time: 11:00PM – 04:00AM
Opening Hours: 10:30 PM- 04:00AM
Lockout: None
Website: http://www.urbanagent.com.au , http://www.martinplacebar.com.au
Address: 51 Martin Place, Corner of Elizabeth Street Sydney
Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual allowed. Half the dudes are smart casual, and the other half are just.. casual. Girls are all in dresses and wearing their faces. Lots of pretty girls. And they’ve relaxed policy somewhat – they have allowed hats to be worn inside!
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free entry all night if you wore white. Otherwise standard cover charges apply. $20 on guestlist before midnight. Free on guesetlist if you get to the counter before 10:30 (small chance), and $25 after midnight.
Guestlist: eric@urbanagent.com.au
Occurence: Every Saturday only.
Inside: Walk into a small bar to hold about 150 or so people – DJ at the front corner. Bar on the right hand side of the venue,taking up half of the floor space. 4 podiums are dotted along the length of the dancefloor, including one with a dancing pole. Small private area at back but was really open to anyone who walked in. Outdoor smoking and BBQ area on the left of the venue.
Cloak Room: $5 for all items.
Bar: I can’t remember. 3 ABC shots for $36 ?
Music: Primarily Hip Hop / RnB tonight. Top 40 and Commerical House mashup as well. DJ’s are mixing it well, keeping the crowd always active and dancing.
Crowd: Dominantly Asian. I spotted 2 white girls, 3 black guys as the minorities here tonight. There were probably a few more handful of the minorities. Age wise it varied, but most people I met were in their early 20′s. It seems as all the teens have gone to Funky. Bad news in a few years time for Bamboo as they would soon have no base.
Entertainment:Theme tonight was White. White balloons all over the place. MC to keep things going. Podium dancers, but only one or two. BBQ outside to feed your tummy. Similar to Shanghai Nights (well, it is the same promoter)
Atmosphere: At its peak, the place is extremely packed, and you would be hard pressed to find some floor space to dance – you would really need to hop up on the podiums to have your own dance action. Outside of peak periods it was still pretty busy. Most of the crowd are singing along to the songs, so pretty vibrant.
Video: 360 of Bamboo @ Martin Place Bar (at the back)

Click here to view the embedded video.

Jesus have a hairband

My hair got caught up
My wig hair is about shoulder length. Bamboo is a very very packd event. Inevitably my hair got caught up in many peoples zipper jackets, and it was pretty annoying. Also while dancing, the hair would get caught in the rings that girls were wearing. Pretty annoying for the girl, but I found it funny.

Balloons are not fun
Someone tied up three balloons to the back of my hair. For a fleeting moment I had the insane idea of repeating what I did last year at Bligh Bar, but quickly brushed it away. Anyway, the balloons on my hair didn’t last long – after they got entangled in one of the chandeliers, I had to manually undo it from my hair. It was an embarrasing look, standing in the middle of the dancefloor undoing these balloons.

I fooled one girl
Girl: “Can I wear your wig?”
James: “its real”
Girl: “nah, its not!” (tugs the wig and by sheer luck, it manages to stay on in place ) “OH MY GOD IT IS REAL! I’m so sorry I pulled it!”
James: “Yup”

Girls who look like who they have seen Jesus. Oh wait…
You walk around and a girl turns around. She look and YELLS IN HORROR like she saw a ghost. It happened twice. It really is amazing how scary I look, right? haha. I love this outfit.

Pole dancing
There is Korean looking chick who has taken pole dancing classes. Look at the pic and look at the crowd, all amazed at her style. Show off, but I must admit, it was hypnotizing.

Upside down pole dancer shows off

Multiple podiums (The Jason effect)
Last year when I went to bamboo, they had 2 small podiums, and one would always be dominated by Jason, the resident Korean bum dancer. Tonight, they have installed four podiums. I do suspect that it was a mitigation against podium hogs, and it has worked – you can dance on one podium and people around you will love you, but other dancers on the other end of the club are staring at their own podium. Focus is mostly on the pole dancing podium, to see what tricks people can get upto on it.

Standard dance moves while wearing robes or looking like Jesus
If you ever find yourself in the presence of a Jesus lookalike, or wearing holy robes, here are some holy moves that I discovered that would certainy send a message to the heavens above to let them know you ain’t gonna stop partying in heaven:

- The prayer: Simple yet effective, clasp your hands together in a prayer position. From here, keep your hands together and move up and down. Bend over for effect. For variation, move hands in a circle or above your head to move to a Thai / Egyptian style dance.

- The Hallelujah: A bit more daring, and effective with robes. Both hands in a diagonal manner away from your body, and pump them up and down at the elbows, with palms open, reaching for the sky. It’s a real crowd pleaser if you are up on stage, as it is very easy to follow. See images above on demonstation.

- The Holy Whip: Again, a robe only dance move, and the ad-hoc adaptation of the classic wind up your towel and whip the other dude. Grab a part of your robe that is dangling off and hold it about 1 metre up from the base. Lift it up and fling it quickly back and forth onto a persons buttocks. Perform the fling quicker for a better ‘ouch’ effect.

Here’s a video of me dancing

Click here to view the embedded video.

Really really packed. ugh.
During the hour at around 11:30PM until about 1:30AM the main dancefloor is undanceable. You stand in the dancefloor trying to dance, but you end up just letting people through your circle or bumping into other people. You either would have to dance at the far back where it was boring, or way at the front, where it was similarly away from the action. However it was still somewhat danceable.

I saw my cousin!
Ran into my cousin. He’s 23 and engaged already. His fiance was there as well. He couldn’t believe what I was wearing. His best friend was there who met me before, but I had no idea who he was, haha. Anyway we had a chat and he asks where my girl was. I pointed to a girl I met at the bar – he understood the bro code and pushed me back to her. I love him.

Too hard to hold a conversation
Being as awesome as Gandalf the white has its downsides. Primarily that I could not hold a converation with any person – male or female for longer than 5 minutes. I would have someone else run up and tell me how awesome they thought my outfit was or how they wanted a photo. How could I not take these compliments or photo opportunities. Many thought I was working here. Aww hell no!! A girl even asked for my business card. It got me dreaming of a business card – it’ll be one of those cards that when you open up, would play a random RnB or House tune in similar vein to classic old school mobile phone tunes! Awesome:

CLUBBING WITH JAMES TRAN
‘THAT GUY WHO NEEDS A LIFE’
Nightclub and event reviews at:
www.JamesTran.net

Hmm.. I like it! I might go make some.. they’re not expensive to make. Watch this space.

Arrivederci
Kicked out at closing time. Place had about 20 people still in it when they finally kicked us out.

Post mortem
Busted by someone who saw me at the last white party
Outside Verandah Bar: JAMES! JAMES!! He screams. Who the fuck is this guy coming up to me?
JAMES!! YOU’RE WEARING THE SAME OUTFIT AGAIN!
Oh shit. Totally busted. It was a guy who I met at the I Heart Uni White Party a few months ago. I remembered him and we had a good old chat. Luckily nobody at Bamboo came up to say they recognized me

Recommendation
It’s a nice place to meet people, but its way too squashy to dance during peak hours.

Bamboo @ Martin Place Bar – 6.5/10

Hugos Lounge Sydney Dancefloor

Saturdays @ Hugo’s Lounge

Assessment Time: 09:00PM – 11:00PM
Opening Hours: – 03:00AM
Lockout: None
Website: http://www.hugos.com.au/
Address: Level 1, 33 Bayswater Road, Kings Cross, Sydney
Dress Code / Door Policy: Appears to be strictly smart casual. Collared shirts and dress shoes for men. Dresses for women. Inside I don’t recall any non-collared shirts or guys just wearing casual. Women all are dressed very well. Hats allowed. No mohawks. 
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free on birthday guestlist. $20 after 10PM from what I heard from someone who was trying to get in, but I do not know for certain about this. 
Guestlist: See website.
Occurence: Every Friday and Saturdays
Inside: Walk up the set of stairs to the forked entrance. Take the right stairs to visit the bar and lounge area. It’s mostly for stand and talk and drink. Take the left set of stairs to walk through the narrow walkway and into the main room. Another bar is presented along with an entirely carpeted area with lounges along the walls. An area in the middle for dancing. Overhead disco balls roughly mark the designated dance area.
Cloak Room: None
Bar: Cocktails are roughly $17-$19 each.
Music: House by DJ Dolso
Crowd: Mostly older caucasian crowd. People mostly in their 20′s and older. Being more of a classy place the people are more well behaved.
Entertainment: It was just the DJ
Atmosphere: Definitely pretentious, but the people on the dancefloor seemed pretty friendly which was good. The whole place is very dark, so I guess thats a good thing for everyone.
Video Walkthrough

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline:
In terms of actual dance time, it would have been no more than 30 minutes because it was still early. People started to get their boogie on at around 10PM but it was on off until around 10:30PM when there was consistently people on there (abour 4-8 people, which was enough for this small dancefloor area).

It kind of reminded me of the old Privilege bar where it was also dark and small, but here at Hugos it was way classier. Probably a better comparison is that of Loft Bar down at King Street Wharf.

Arrivederci
We left at 11PM. Friends were going to leave, and on top of that I had planned to visit Coogee Bay Hotel.

Recommendation
As this place suggests, it is more of a Bar than a place to club, but dancing is permitted here in the small dancefloor. I am more about dancing than lounging around so I probably wouldn’t come here for an awesome dance, but I wouldn’t mind having drinks here or a birthday. A very nice venue in general but not one for clubbing.

However potentially it could be better at night, as it was only 11PM when we left.
Hugos Lounge – 4.5/10

Marty, beer breath dancer and I - The Tunnel Nightclub Sydney

It’s my birthday weekend, but I’ve already had two dinners, a karaoke and meat tray raffle birthday party. My friends are getting sick me celebrating, and I still had a house party to host as well. Tonight was my clubbing choice of night out, so here we go!

Addiction @ The Tunnel (Formerly Dragonfly) Sydney
Assessment Time: 11:30PM – 03:30AM
Opening Hours: – 03:30AM
Lockout: 02:00AM ? We tried to leave at 02:30AM but was told it was lock out if we tried to re-enter.
Website: http://www.tunnelnightclub.com.au, http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=166455593127
Address: 1 Earl Place Potts Point / Kings Cross, Sydney
Dress Code / Door Policy: Smart Casual. Hats were allowed inside. Groups of guys are allowed, and people of non-caucasian backgrounds were welcome tonight. Can you believe it?? The racist door policy of the old Dragonfly club on Fridays was no longer evident. This is primarily because tonight is an RnB event. However I do not know if their Saturdays have relaxed their door policy. Guys inside tonight are dressed mostly with collared shirts, and the girls are all dressed up and looking very good. There was a dancing girl with multicoloured boots with funky lycras and loose shirt etc, like a dancer from the fluro 80′s, and so it is safe to assume as long as you look good, you can come in no matter what you are wearing.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: I got free entry as it was my birthday, but if you submit a standard guestlist, the cover charge would be $10 before midnight. I am unsure what the standard non-guestlist entry fee is. I would assume this to be $20.
Guestlist: I sent mine to nathan@exclusivproductionz.com.au, though there are probably other email addresses as well. There is also the Facebook group.
Occurence: Every Friday
Inside: Similar to the old Dragonfly, as you walk in you are presented with lounges with a bar behind. Surrounding the bar are booths and lounges. One of these booths was mine. On the left is the dancefloor, which seems more open. The DJ booth has moved from the far left wall to the side of the dancefloor closer to the bar, to replace a booth that used to be there. In the old place of the DJ seat, is an elevated podium for the show offs to dance to the side of the crowd. A glassed off private area to the left exists as well but nobody has booked it tonight, and it remains closed off for the entire night.
Cloak Room: Yes, there is a cloak room offered (its on the far left behind the dancefloor) but I am not sure of the pricing. We just left our stuff on the booths during the night.
Bar: I didn’t drink alcohol tonight but waiting in line didn’t take long at all, at most 3-4 minutes, unless there was a big order in front of you. No more than 1 person deep.
Music: Primarily RnB and pop, with some house, Baltimore, etc as advertised.
Crowd: The crowd tonight was mostly Euro. Minority consisted of blacks, us asian dudes, some backpackers. You can’t tell who were the backpackers as they are all dressed like everyone else. Most of the crowd are young, but there are some older folk (ie myself) in their late 20′s and met some people in their 30′s.
Entertainment: There was an MC to keep things moving along.
Atmosphere: A pretty friendly atmosphere. The staff and security are pretty friendly so long as you don’t get on their bad side. No fights tonight that I witnessed.

Photo from my booth at the back of The Tunnel Nightclub

Video: 360 view from my booth

Click here to view the embedded video.

Video: 360 view from the dancefloor taken at 1:00AM

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline:
Where are my friends?
This was the question asked by the promoter who was taking care of my guestlist of 50 or so people. I was with only 2 of my friends in line. The promoter had organised free entry for myself and two others as well as a reserved booth to have the entire night. I felt bad that I only brang two people so I lied to him:

‘My friends are behind me’ I reply. I really had no other friends coming. This was a hastily organised clubbing night and I really didn’t invite anyone to come along except 5 or 6 people. This on top of what was mentioned above, in that my friends were sick of my birthday celebrations

Get out of my booth! (and brithday benefits)
I look for the booth with my name on it. I couldn’t find it – all booths were taken and occupied by people! Someone has stolen my booth, but I don’t bother. There were only 3 of us anyway. So its straight to the bar for some water. A tap on the shoulder. It’s the promoter:

‘Look over there’.

He points to a booth. It was just cleared out and is now empty, with a table with four champagne glasses.

‘Thats your booth, and the champagne is free on us’

This guy has just kicked everyone out of this booth and given us free entry and bubbly. Jesus Christ, *now* I feel really bad to bringing two people, but free alcohol!! WOOT!

Reserved for James Tran - Addiction @ The Tunnel

After this write up I would not be surprised if was not offered any more free champagne, free entry or booth reservation.

Continuous assault of women at my booth
So there is 3 guys in a booth which could seat 15 or so people. So what does the promoter do? He sends 3 girls to our booth and asks if we mind if there are extra girls here. “Oh, I guess I dont mind them”. Far out brussel sprouts! I just want my own personal booth for my birthday. A few minutes later here comes another girl, then another.. until there are about 8 girls in my booth – their bags and jackets strewn everywhere. WHY? I don’t want them invading my space. Well I did, but not really.

Don’t trust me with your jacket
Girls were not friendly, even if they were invading my booth. In fact, one walked right up to me, picked up her jacket next to me, and moved it further away from me. Say What? Don’t trust an asian guy sitting next to your precious jacket?? Did I really look that dodgy?? I look like freaking justin bieber right now – I am totally trustworthy!! AGH! This was upsetting, so I left my booth to dance – as there was no room in the booth to dance due to women sitting down with their legs in their way.

More dancing
It’s a bit dark in here, so its hard to take over the dancefloor. The best way was to get on the side podium where everyone could see you. Sadly though it was packed so we had to wait until later in the night when we could actually jump on there and dance.

Danced on the upper podium, and got people videotaping and taking photos of us. I have no idea what they are going to do – put it on facebook? I am moving so fast I would just come out as a blur, especially in the darkness of a club. Found a drunk girl who danced like one, and her breath stank of alcohol. Total turn off. She was fun to dance with. Oh look theres a picture of her at the very top of this post.

Also got stalked by an Indian dude. Everywhere we went , he would follow us, or he would pounce on a girl we were not chatting to. It was kind of creepy.

It sort of died quickly
People started to leave from around 1AM and by 2AM it was pretty dead. You know its dead when I am able to do multiple cartwheels on the dancefloor.

Arrivederci
We are kicked out at closing time. At closing time there are only 4 or 5 people left in the club. Security tells us ‘come back tomorrow.Its busier on Saturday’. Hahaha, every promoters nightmare.

Recommendation
Despite the recommendation by security to visit on the busier Saturdays – it was like comparing oranges and apples as Saturdays are their house nights. Anyway nice clean crowd, danceable music and new refurbished venue makes for a good night out here. It is a safe place to bring friends who may not be into dancing but are happy to drink (ie for a birthday). If people stayed here longer it would have also been good.

Addiction @ The Tunnel - 7.5/10

Macquarie Hotel Sydney Liverpool Dancefloor

I am celebrating a friends birthday at Macquarie Hotel, so here we go!

June Babies @ Macquarie Hotel
Assessment Time: 10:45PM – 03:00AM
Opening Hours: 09:00 PM- 03:00AM
Lockout: None
Website: http://www.macquariehotelliverpool.com.au/ , http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=121829681183563
Address: 269 Macquarie St, Liverpool Sydney
Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual allowed. Most guys here were indeed wearing casual t-shirts, runners etc. Girls were half dressed up half csual. Surprisingly hats are not allowed.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free all night.
Guestlist: Pointless as it was free entry. People who were born in June were encourages to create guestlists to be entitled to 6 free drinks. I sent a guestlist of one person (me)
Occurence: The birthday event is Monthly, but Macquarie Hotel in general is on every Saturday with the same crowd regardless.
Inside: Walk inside to the gaming area. Bar to the right for the area. Keep walking into the main bar area where the bar is also to the right. Bar area has various tables and chairs, and is carpeted. Following up is a strip of patch and a set of lounges. Past the row of lounges is the dancefloor, with overhead convertible roof. Dancefloor to hold about 150 people. Side room to the left for smoking, if the overhead roof was closed. There is also a secondary entrance on the right corner of the dancefloor.
Cloak Room: None
Bar: Shots can only be ordered at the main bar before midnight.
Music: Contemporary RnB for most of the night.
Crowd: Mostly Asian, mostly teenagers. There are a handful of older locals in their late 20s and 30s but these are the minority. I met someone who was celebrating their 18th here. Also my other 18/19 y.o clubbing friends were here. The birthday girl tonight was 22/23 – I can’t remember.
Entertainment: There’s an MC.
Atmosphere: Vibrant, busy and packed on the dancefloor. Way too packed. People openly smoke on the dancefloor as it is open air. Otherwise everyone here is into the dancing / jumping up and down here.

Timeline:
Securing the free drinks
On offer tonight for people born in June were 6 free drinks! Amazing, because I was born in June. A few days before, I asked a promoter what the conditions were. The only thing I had to do to was spam all my facebook friends to tell them about the event. I said I would think about it (no). Well, in any case, a guestlist event in my name was created in my name, with zero guests. Apparently this ws good enough to score free drinks anyway, which I happily got from the MC at the front. The MC actually CHECKED that I was born in June. Never in the history of guestlisting has my birthday been verified until tonight.

World Cup Fever
People are still on about the World Cup. What luck that tonights match was Argentina vs Some Team, where Argentina won 4-0. So while people on the dancefloor are happily dancing away, the rest of us who can’t dance just stare at the soccer match. About half the night was wasted watching the match.

Security still hustling people around
Last time we were here, security were bossing people who were mingling around areas where you are not meant to mingle. Mingle areas include the bathroom, the strip of path between dancefloor and back area, and the bar, if you were not buying a drink. It does keep the people and flow going well though, I have to admit.

Meet my niece, and my fiance
Woo! So I am chatting to a 30 something year old local girl. She’s engaged. Her fiance is here as well at the club. Amazing. So is her niece. Bam! She is hot. Auntie tells me to go for it. Ok, so I strode on up and did a boom boom pow dance (you can imagine the moves), and fiance steps in and pushes me away! He said no, no, no. Auntie didn’t tell someone it was ok. Oh well.

He just turned 18 tonight, Gemini power!

Arrivederci
We left at closing time, and went for a pork roll at the 24 hour place at Cabramatta.

Recommendation
If you are honestly too lazy to head out to the city and live in the area, do check it out. It is the only decent RnB place out west (besides albion in Parramatta), but only if you are prepared to hang out with a young (and potentially dangerous, but I did not witness any fights) crowd.

June Babies / Pure @ Macquarie Hotel – 6.5/10

Pirate and Indian

Visiting a random who we only met last week. We reached the door and I don’t really want to go in. Random begs us to come in for an hour or so because its her birthday. Well, we were already here, and we were in our costumes from the party before, so let’s make the most of this – here we go!

Impulse @ Hunter Bar
Assessment Time: 02:00AM – 03:15AM
Opening Hours: – 11:00PM  - 10:00AM
Lockout: None
Website: http://www.myspace.com/impulsefridays
Address: 50 Hunter St, Sydney
Dress Code / Door Policy: Anything goes. Hats allowed, costumes allowed.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $20. Unsure on guestlist but there probably was one
Guestlist: impulse_chamber@hotmail.com
Occurence: Every Friday.
Inside: Under street level, the place is quite dark. It is just one room – low ceiling height – a bar to the right, a dancefloor at the front to hold about 100 people tightly and the DJ at the far end. Lounges are located as you walk in. 
Cloak Room: Free for umbrellas. $3 or $4 for other items
Bar: Did not drink tonight.
DJs: Main DJ was Amber savage. See this pic for the set list. Aren’t they so nice to supply one?
Music: Hard Trance, Hard Style
Crowd: Older, mostly asians. Older meaning being on the wrong side of 30. There are also a handful of younger people, but no less than 25. These people were the last remnants of the classic trance generation of the 90s, still partying until the end, and you know what, I applaud them for it.
Entertainment: No extra entertainment.
Atmosphere: Dark, loud and kind of seedy, in a bad way. Most were standing around in the dark, and avoiding the dancefloor. Everyone kept to themselves in here.
Video: Walkthrough / 360

Click here to view the embedded video.

Set List - Impulse @ Hunter Bar

Timeline:
No talk in here
It’s way too difficult to even strike a conversation inside here. It’s so damn loud. My attempt to talk to someone remotely my age was met with fierce resistance by her friends after half a second. I talked to an older, non-attractive asian woman and she was all over me. We almost kissed after some boogie, but I couldn’t do it – the light unfortonately landed on her face, and I saw her true age – thank god I was sober.. Thank god.

Crowd - Impulse @ Hunter Bar Sydney Friday

The outfits that didn’t work
Usually Captain Jack Sparrow gets the adulation and love from the entire place but for some reason tonight, only one person came up to take a photo with me and Marty (who was dressed as an American Indian). What is with this crowd? It was this place – it was designed to make everyone on equal footing by making it really dark as well as blaringly loud. Not even a hardcore shuffling Jack Sparrow could excite people up.

Arrivederci
We left after an hour of shuffling. Just exhausting stuff, and the place never really picked up.

Recommendation
Only come here if you really want to continue your dancing fix from 4am onwards. It’s not very good as a place to go to unless you are into your hard style. Probably HSU would be better (apparently, I haven’t been).  As a venue itself it isn’t so good either. It’s dark and not many lounges to sit down on… but that is standard. I don’t know of any other place in the CBD that has a day club going on, so Hunter has kind of a monopoly in the day club scene. $20 entry is dear for a club that did not have many people either.

Hunter Bar Fridays (Hardstyle) : 2.5/10

Judging Panel

A friends birthday at Havana, so here we go!

Candy Dreams (Final night) @ Havana club deluxe

Assessment Time: 11:30PM – 02:00AM
Opening Hours: 10:30PM – 02:00AM
Lockout: None
Website: N/a
Address: 169 Oxford St, Sydney
Dress Code / Door Policy: Anything goes.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $15 on guestlist.
Occurence: Tonight was the final night of this particular event.
Inside: Dancefloor for about 250 people surrounded by lounges, and 3 bars. 
Cloak Room: $4 for standard size. $6 for larger items
Music: RnB, House mashup.
Crowd: Asian.
Entertainment: Modelling show. Tonight was the grand final where 8 of the most beautiful girls from previous rounds, strut it out for the $1000 grand prize.
Atmosphere: Dead. Pretty much the worst I’ve seen Havana at.
Video: 360 from the side bar:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline:
It’s dead
The first thing that we see as we walk in, is that the entire place is dead. Amazingly dead. There were approximately zero people on the dancefloor, and about 10-20 people around the floor. It was a sad sight, maybe the promoters weren’t bothered seeing it was the final night.

The modelling show
Tonight was the finals of who is the prettiest girl, and there were 8 beauties. You would imagine people would pack this place out for this event, but not really. The girls strutted their stuff, and someone won $1000. Nobody was here to see them compete at all. It was a shame. Here’s a little snippet:

Click here to view the embedded video.

class

Meditating

Arrivederci
The place closed at 2AM, and not the usual 4AM, which was surprising, but also not surprising considering the deadness of the place.

Recommendation
I can no longer recommend Havana for a night, however it doesn’t matter anymore, as tonight was the last night of the Candy Dreams events.

Candy Dreams (Final Night) – 2/10.

Favela Nightclub downstairs area

It’s a new promoter, same music and same venue. Been nagged to go as I was originally going to go to The Tunnel- so here we go!

Quick review: Friday rnb @ Favela (New Promoters)
Assessment Time: Midnight – 3:00AM
Opening Hours: Unknown – 3:00AM
Lockout: None
Website: http://www.favela.com.au
Address: Kings Cross, Sydney
Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual ok.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $25. $20 on guestlist.
Guestlist: Yes, facebook event.
Occurence: Weekly on Fridays.
Cloak Room: $5
Bar: 2 bars.
Music: RnB
Crowd: Asians and Wogs. Mostly asians on the dancefloor
Entertainment: An MC, but that’s about it.
Atmosphere: Initially pretty shit an later picked up for a short bit in the main room.  Downstairs was a private function but it was pretty dead.
360 Video:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Only asians are dancing.
Most of the time in the main rnb dancefloor, only us asians are dancing. Occasionally some of the other natios would dance but its not a very big dancefloor

Taunted by cloak room people
As I leave, I realise I lost my cloak room ticket. The guys taunt me and tell me they are going to keep my stuff. I impressed them with a blood type analysis of their personality, and they let me have my bag back.

Arrivederci
Left at closing time

Recommendation
I did not expect much to happen here, and I was right. Don’t come here on Friday.. It is not worth the high entry fee. 4/10

Macquarie Hotel, Liverpool Sydney

I’ve never been to Liverpool – There’s three clubs I know of in this area – Collingwood, NOX and Macquarie. A friend constantly raves about Macquarie Hotel, so I rounded up some local friends, and off we went – Here we go!

Pure @ Macquarie Hotel Sydney
Assessment Time: 11:30PM – 03:00AM
Opening Hours: Unknown – 03:00AM
Lockout: No lockout
Website: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=226724078936 , http://www.macquariehotelliverpool.com.au/
Address: 269 Macquarie St, Liverpool Sydney
Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual shirts and casual shoes allowed, and is what almost all the guys are wearing. Girls are dressed up and looking pretty. Hats are not allowed to be worn inside.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free all night.
Guestlist: None.
Inside: Walk inside to the gaming area. Bar to the right for the area. Keep walking into the main bar area where the bar is also to the right. Bar area has various tables and chairs, and is carpeted. Following up is a strip of patch and a set of lounges. Past the row of lounges is the dancefloor, with overhead convertible roof. Dancefloor to hold about 150 people. Side room to the left for smoking, if the overhead roof was closed. There is also a secondary entrance on the right corner of the dancefloor. See video for more.
Cloak Room: None
Bar: $7.50 for a shot of tequila.
DJs: DJ Dee.
Music: RnB all night, with about 20 minutes of house/trance from 02:30-02:50AM
Crowd: The majority of people here are asian. There are pockets of wogs and other nationalities. Most people are local asian teenagers. There are some older folk well in their 20′s but were the minority.
Entertainment: MC to keep things going
Atmosphere: The dancefloor was pretty much packed the entire night, but too packed – pretty much Bamboo like. The rest of the club was also bustling the entire time. Kind of dark as well, which was good in a way. People are smoking everywhere on the dancefloor thanks to the open roof. You are unable to escape it.
Video Walkthrough:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline:

I’m not a teenage dirtbag
One of our friends is 19, and when she walked into the club with us, probably every 3rd person she saw said hello to her. Far out, this was land of the teens, and there was no end to it. Most of the asians here looked underage or barely legal, but luckily I have braces to fit in, ahaha. But yeah, this place is Asian Teen Central!

Back when I was your age
It was only a few years ago when people were allowed to smoke in clubs. Here, I was surprised to walk in and see people smoking in the middle and around the dancefloor! What the ?? Of course, I look up and the roof is partially open – it’s enough to warrant the area to be an outdoor area and to allow smokers to smoke, and more importantly, stay inside the club. I absolutely hate it because at the end of the night my skin and clothes are drenched in the smell of cigarette ash.

Security is everywhere
There is security everywhere. Was this place prone to fights? It’s a possibility, considering we had to be scanned to get in.. as well as the crowd being asian teens, and the locality of this place, being in Liverpool.

We are only allowed to dance on the dancefloor
We are having a little dance at the bar. Security man comes up and warns us that we are not allowed to dance here, and that we can only stand up normally at the bar. Man, far out! This place is strict.

So between the dancefloor and the bar area behind, there is a strip of tiled patch about 1 metre wide. We dance there instead, but within secondsm we are shooed away by the security personnel and told to dance on the dancefloor. My god, there is actually a dedicated security person to shoo away people from this little narrow path! I have a good look at him for 5 minutes and that is all he does the entire night – telling people to get off the tiled floor. He waves his water bottle around as his instrument of shoo-ing. Amazing job, but someone has to do it. Given, this area would have been way too packed to move around if that path was not there, not that it’s not packed enough already as it is.

Video: A very packed crowd singing along to Justin Beiber: (shameful)

Click here to view the embedded video.

Photo with DJ
DJ Dee actually came down and put her headphones on me for this quick pic. Awesome.

DJ Dee at Liverpool club Macquarie Hotel

Not allowed to touch her ass
Chatting to 2 fat girls at the bar. One fat girl told me off for touching her friends ass. Now I swear to whoever god you believe in, I did not touch her ass. I had no reason to! 5 minutes later, the accuser is randomly making out with a random horny dude, and he is touching her ass. DOUBLE STANDARDS BITCH!

Jockeys can dance
Near the end of the night there was a tiny bit of room for everyone. We met a white Aussie jockey and he danced with us. He was a tall jockey, but still shorter than me =) He wanted to go to Collingwood or NOX afterwards. Tempting, but I have friends to drive home. Booyah.

with Jockey man, Marty

Arrivederci
Left at 3:00AM where they kicked us all out.

Recommendation
It appears that this event is only promoted every few weeks, so do check if it is on before coming, otherwise you will catch Macquarie on a ‘dead’ night (so I have been told) and not enjoy your night. Otherwise if you are in the Liverpool area and can’t be bothered to go to the city for your rnb fix, it’s worth checking out, and since it’s free entry, there is nothing to lose. Probably the big downer for me tonight was the open smoking policy inside. This can’t be helped, as I assume that if the top roof was closed, then the place would have been stuffy as hell.

Pure @ Macquarie Hotel – 6.5/10

Fever Nightclub Wollongong NSW (Bluenote) - taken from the corner of the dancefloor

Tonight I am in wollongong with friends to check out the clubs. We were on our way to Hostage X or Illawara Hotel for the final club of the night, after visiting The Harp, Ivory and Glasshouse. It’s already 2am and locals have told us Hostage X was dead, and that Illawarra Hotel closes in one hour. This pretty much ended our night.. except there *was* one club left still open after 3am – This club was named Fever (It was formerly known as but still constantly referred to as The Blue Note / Bluenote)… it plays RNB, and apparently gets packed once all other clubs close – so we realy don’t have a choice – so here we go!

Saturdays @ Fever Nightclub (Formerly Blue Note / The Bluenote)
Assessment Time: 02:00AM – 04:00AM
Opening Hours: Unknown (apparently opens late) – 05:00AM
Lockout: None
Website: No website found.
Address: Corner of Station St and Pacific Highway, Wollongong, NSW.
Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual OK. Hats are not allowed to be worn.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $10 all night
Guestlist: None
Inside: Walk upstairs two or three flights of stairs to arrive to the nightclub, which holds about 160 people. Dancefloor to the far right corner, bar on the left, and lounges on the furthest left corner. Dancefloor is a flashy neon-based dancefloor. Check out the video for footage, its quite sizeable and this is where the dancing is concentrated at.
Cloak Room: None
Bar: Did not drink at this venue.
Music: Purely RNB as far as I can remember. Mix of contemporary and old school.
Crowd: Mostly locals, and almost all of them have come from other clubs and bars in the area. Asians, Samoans, Aussies, Indians, Euros.
Entertainment: Big flashing dancefloor! Biggest flashing one I’ve seen in a long time. (ok, I haven’t seen that many)
Atmosphere: Dead at first, but it picks up at around 3am, when all the other clubs close, and Fever / The Blue Note is the last place within 100KM’s that is still open and belting out the beats.
Video: Walkthrough into Fever Nightclub

Click here to view the embedded video.

Video: 360 of Fever Nightclub including flashing dancefloor

Click here to view the embedded video.

Relax… *deep breath* – ‘Dear dude with one dance move’…
FUCK! IF YOU WANT PEOPLE LOOKING AT YOU AT LEAST LEARN MORE THAN ONE MOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ONE MOVE = ANNOYING MUCH?

Fun for the whole Family
We met a samoan girl hanging out with her Auntie. Her Auntie has been banished by security to sit in the corner. Yes, there is a punishment corner in the club, which has a bench, for where drunk people sit down and sober up. What a concept. Well that is what I was told. They await for 9 more of their Samoan relatives to come to the club. Man, I didn’t know clubs in Wollongong were family friendly. I may yet take my mum clubbing sometime.

Drunk Auntie
Auntie is easily the most visible drunk in the club.
Case 1: Auntie pulls someone on the dancefloor and walks backwards, pushing everybody out of the way. I didn’t see her coming and she just literally smashed me off balance as she started to dance.
Case 2: As she sat down on the lounge, I see her literally sit on Marty, not knowing he was there. The poor guy, getting squished.

I see asians, but they don’t wanna talk
I saw asians. Being wollongong, there are not many in this area, so I went up to talk to them. She was the most unfriendly Asian I had ever met! haha. She did not want to talk to me or anything. Of all girls to pick, I picked the unfriendliest one. Sigh.

The dance off that lasted 1 second. I won!
I am dancing away, and suddenly another asian girl stomps on right up and starts to stomp her feet and wave her arms like a mad woman, dancing away. IT WAS ON!! But the moment she strided in to dance with me, her foot slipped … and she landed extremely hard on her ass. I was too busy laughing to help her, but eventually I helped her up, and for the rest of the night she couldn’t really dance. Whose fault was it that her arse is now injured – hers for wanting to dance with me, or mine for dancing so well that she wanted to dance with me? I blame her for wearing heels.

Arrivederci
So tired from dancing and drinking, so we left.

Recommendation
Avoid this club before 3AM as it is a deadhole. However do come here after 3AM if you still have the energy.

Saturdays @ Fever Nightclub (Formerly The Blue Note / Bluenote):
1/10 (before 3AM),

6.5/10 (after 3AM)

Main dancefloor area - Glasshouse, Wollongong NSW

In Wollongong (an hour from Sydney) tonight to check out the clubs. We have just left The Ivory, I am fuming and swearing to god about their bullshit no camera policy. Across the road is The Glasshouse, the next place on our list of clubs to visit, so here we go!

Saturdays @ The Glasshouse Tavern

Assessment Time: 12:30PM – 01:30AM
Opening Hours: Unknown – 03:00AM
Lockout: None
Website: No website available at time of writing
Address: 90 Crown St, Wollongong
Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual ok. No hats allowed inside. It was 50/50 casual, collared shirts for guys. Most girls had dresses. Dress up costumes were ok in here as well, as there was a group of people dressed up as the members of KISS.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $10. We bargained the door girl to $5 for the four of us each.
Guestlist: None
Inside: As you walk inside the premise there is an outdoor courtyard, albeit very small. Walking inside the Glasshouse itself is large bar area to mill around with stools and tables. This is to the right. To the very left is a two stepped podium to hold about 15 – 20 people. In front of you is the main dancefloor, elevated from the rest of the bar (the entire Glasshouse venue is on a slope) to hold about 150-200 people. The entire place is wooden floor board.
Cloak Room: None
Bar: Did not drink here
Music: RnB, House, Pop, Top 40
Crowd: Mostly local Aussies / Caucasians. Young.
Entertainment: No MC. Just podiums.
Atmosphere: In the dancefloor it was constantly packed, and people were dancing about, but not much signing along. The vibe didn’t seem to be there – I think the venue itself just was a bit too airy for intimacy. Outside the dancefloor in the bar areas, it was not that busy. You could easily get a stool if you waited around for a minute or two.
Video: Walkthrough

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline:
Taking over the club – before we got in
Even before we got in, we were outside deciding whether to go inside or head on to Illawarra Hotel / Hostage X. Being the Glasshouse, the walls are of glass, and you can see inside. People inside can also see outside. Exploiting this fact, Marty and I just said ‘fuck it’ and we started dancing outside one of the glass walls, while people in line look at us. Soon after a minute or two, about 30 people inside the club closest to the glass window are staring at us and cheering us on. We have, again, taken over the club but this time, without being inside the club! Brilliant stuff!! Someone even walked by and yelled out ‘GROW UP!’ to us as we danced. I will take that as a compliment thank you very much.

No Vomit Here
A local had advised us the Glasshouse was pretty filthy and dirty. So much so that they even sprayed vomit over the cash registers to keep patrons away from the money, ha! Well that was a few years ago though. Tonight it seemed to be a clean open place, and there was not a trace of vomit or slime to be found, I am pleased to report.

An odd location for a podium
The main dancefloor was always busy, and its pretty spacey. However there provided no mechanism for us to take over. The podiums did not overlook the dancefloor at all, they were in a different section altogther, and it overlooked the patrons who are drinking at the tables and stools. It was more of a tiny performance stage converted to a podium for tonight. So when you stand up to dance at the podium, you don’t get much of an audience.

The bar stool seating area - Glasshouse, Wollongong NSW

Arrivederci
It was reaching 1:30AM and we were no longer feelng the vibe at all. We still needed to Visit our next club !

Recommendation
The music played here caters for all the younger crowd. Big venue, and it doesn’t smell or stink as previously insinuated by the locals. So if you haven’t been back here in a while, do try it out again, but do go with friends – you will find yourself pretty lonely without someone. The vibe just isn’t here. Whether it was the fact that it was a glasshouse and there was light coming in or it was just too airy – I just couldn’t put my finger on it.

Saturdays @ The Glasshouse – 6.0/10

Crowd at The Ivory, Wollongong NSW

Four of us are here to check out the Wollongong nightlife for one night – We just left The Harp Hotel, and we are off to the next club down the street – it’s Ivory Bar, so here we go!

Saturdays @ Ivory Bar
Assessment Time: 11:30PM – 12:30AM
Opening Hours: 8:00PM – 3:00AM
Lockout: None
Website: No website could be found.
Address: 77 Crown Street, Wollongong NSW
Dress Code / Door Policy: Probably safe to dress smart casual here. Most people were dressed smart, though casual was allowed you would be probably looked down upon. No hats allowed. No photography allowed.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $10 flat charge all night
Guestlist: None
Inside: Imagine The Establishment in Sydney, but without the back room, and half the size of the main room / bar area. This is exactly what you get at the Ivory – You walk into a lengthy room with one bar to the left adoring the wall. There is a section behind this wall for smokers. DJ booth (I cant even remember if there was a DJ booth) should be at the front. There is a big LCD screen displaying random messages set by the people here partying tonight. Lounges near the entrance and to the right hand side. Main dancing area is at the back.
Cloak Room: None
Bar: I did not drink here tonight. The bar specializes in cocktails, so you can imagine the prices at this bar to be of the upper end range.
Music: House / Funky House
Crowd: Older crowd, but dressed up nicely, so as to keep up with appearances. Mostly late 20s, 30s, and some 40s and 50s were spotted here. A lot of good lookers. Entirely Caucasian.
Entertainment: No extra things to keep the vibe going. It held up on its own for a bar.
Atmosphere: Music is loud, the venue seems new and the vibe amongst the dancing patrons is pretty good. People are dancing and drinking away. In terms of dance space, it is a little cramped, but not sardine packed. It’s enough to survive an hour here, but I would not imagine an entire night here.
Video: Walkthrough Video

Click here to view the embedded video.

There is only one other club I have ever been to that didn’t even allow cameras past security inside, and that was The Capitol in New Delhi, India. When I was there it was regarded probably the most elite and difficult nightclub to get into in India – Fair enough I played by their rules, BUT TONIGHT WE ARE IN BLOODY WOLLONGONG, NOT THE MOST ELITE NIGHTCLUB IN INDIA!

What are they so scared of? Did the 50 year old patrons complain that the flash photography affects their vision? This is not a nursing home. Does the flash expedite the degradation of the walls around me? This ain’t The Louvre. Am I infringing copyright? This is not a cinema! IT’S A NIGHTCLUB WITH LOUD MUSIC AND PEOPLE DANCING AND DRINKING!!! Why oh why?? I really really wonder sometimes.

Drunken Cronulla Man keeps us for a few more minutes
Drunken Man from Cronulla comes up and tells us how good we were before at dancing. He is as red as a tomato with a beer in his hand. Then orders us to dance! Fine, we accept the order and dance for a bit, he is a top bloke, but we are still upset at the stupid management camera rule, and we leave Drunken Cronulla Man alone. He was sad when we left.

Arrivederci
Very unhappy that I am unable to take happy snaps and the lack of young people to talk to, we leave The Ivory anyway for our next venue, The Glasshouse, across the road. (They allowed photography)

Recommendation

Ivory Bar: 4/10. No camera policy turns me off real bad. Crowd is somewhat hostile at times too. Music is good though. Crowd too old for me, even though I’m 25. However this is a good place for just cocktails.

Asian Night at Havana - Thursday 1st April 2010

Good Friday is on tomorrow and all the clubs in Sydney are closed that day, so they are open Thursday night in lieu… Just left Space with Derelict, to meet up with Marty and some other female friends, so here we go!

Candy Dreams Lingerie Party @ Havana Club de Luxe

Assessment Time: Midnight – 02:30am
Opening Hours: 10:30pm – 03:00am
Website: http://www.havanaclub.com.au, http://www.teamhkr.com 
Address: 169 oxford st, Darlinghurst Sydney 
Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual ok. I had dress shoes, a vest and collared shirt on. Others wore t-shirts and some girls wore corsets tonight. 
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $25. $20 on guestlist before midnight. I employed use of my free pass from the last week I visited Havana. 
Guestlist: See promoter website 
Inside: Walk upstairs two flights of stairs to the top level of the building, where Havana is. Main dancefloor for 250 or so people, with 3 bars on 3 sides, and DJ on the 4th wall. Lounges and carpeted areas surround the dancefloor.
Cloak Room:$4
Bar: Didn’t drink tonight
Music: RnB with the occasional House mashup
Crowd: Mostly asian with a mix of the others such as euro, aussie. Mostly local.
Entertainment: Podiums in the middle in front of the DJ and next to him. Dancing poles are not installed tonight.
Atmosphere: It was a Thursday, so it wasn’t as packed as a typical Friday night, nethertheless it was still busy enough to keep it away from the status of ‘dead’. Later around 2am it did die down considerably.
Video - 360 View of the main floor around midnight

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline:
It’s a Lingerie Party and well.. where was the lingerie?
Well all my female friends here were dressed in corsets. Altogether in the club I could probably count about 10 or less females in corsets/lingerie including my friends – I wanted to perve on girls who I didn’t know! Nethertheless it was a welcome sight for pervy eyes. A shame there were not more girls dressed skimpily. They should have a club out there that has dress up themes every week! Oh wait.. that’s The Retro.

Girls up on the podium dancing

We busted each other

I went on a date with a girl a two nights ago. Tonight I saw her grinding with some random dude tonight, and she saw me granding with a girl. Our eyes meet, and it was totally not awkward. hahaha.. and yet I wonder why I am single.

The 2 hour grind
After being in the club for 20 minutes the girl who I was dancing with at Space, got bored and followed me here to Havana, and so I did my part and grinded with her and Derelict for about 90-120 minutes.. sandwich style in the middle of the floor. Basically she would face me grinding, and then after a while turn about face and continue. EVERYONE in the club is staring at us. Some are smiling, and some are disgusted. Most are guys of the former category. You would think something further would happen, but it never materialised.

Video: 2 girls up on the podium shaking their stuff

Click here to view the embedded video.

Arrivederci
After the arduous grinding session, the three of us leave. Friends were shaking their heads at me. C’mon, what is wrong with two guys and a girl leaving a club, holding hands?!? Gimme a break!!

Recommendation
Well tonight was a once off Thursday event – but it was better than Flow’s once off event on Christmas Eve – Would come here again. More people would have been better, but this was a pretty good turn out for Thursday – Similar to Space Nightclub – Entry price however should have been cheaper for a Thursday. Flow Thursday last year was only $10.

Candy Dreams @ Havana Club – 6.5/10

I Love Uni White Party - Home Nightclub

I’ve been asked to check this University event out. A combined effort of all the universities, targeted for students who had just had their first O-Week. Well, considering my own O-week was about 8 years ago, I was wondering whether I should go. Then.. on the promo poster were the magic words: “WHITE PARTY”. Can anybody say GANDALF DA WHITE IS BACK??!! Got my dancing partner C to come along and so off we set our dancing merry feet – here we go!

I Love Uni White Party @ Home Nightclub

Assessment Time: 11:00pm – 3:00am
Opening Hours: 9:30pm – late (4-5am?)
Website: http://www.homesydney.com.au
Address:  Cockle bay wharf, Darling Harbour, Sydney
Dress Code / Door Policy: White attire only. However people who were not wearing white were still allowed in, despite warnings that people were not going to be allowed in.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $15 presold tickets (sold out). $25 at the door. The girl at the counter liked my outfit and I asked for a discount for having such an ‘awesome’ outfit.  She lowered my entry fee to $20. Score!
Guestlist: none
Inside: The White Party event was for the main arena room to hold 500 or so people. All the other rooms were closed. Later after midnight, the other trance / house / rock band rooms were opened up for the general public.
Cloak Room: Did not utilise cloak room today.
Bar: Didn’t drink tonight
DJ: Unknown.
Music: RnB initially in the main room. After around midnight, a change of DJ’s and an opening of doors to the public for sublime ensure the RnB was killed, and house and trance/ house took over for the rest of the night. It was strange because at one point in the night, a singer came out and sang some house songs, it was so bloody bizarre – how could people dance to this?? The small room upstairs was also used for a local rock band gig. I have never seen it done like this – what has happened to Sublime?? I was disappointed in one’s choice of music selection to dance to after the rnb stopped.
Crowd: Lots of asians for the rnb component, with a sprinkle of other nationalities. Almost all are uni students. Of course, as rnb is killed, the rnb lovers left and the ratio became a mixed bag of everything – Whites, Asians, Indians.
Entertainment: MC and professional male dance crews. Wow, they actually *do* hire men to dance. They were more house dancers but were pretty good at what they did.
Atmosphere: Main room was always happening. The other rooms later in the night were only so so. The sublime room was the only other somewhat happening room for the trance lovers.

Video: – 360 view at around 2am,
Taken by C – you can see me for 2 seconds dancing with a random dude

Click here to view the embedded video.

Keep reading on for Gandalf’s adventures!

Timeline

Gandalf is back
It’s been 10 weeks since I took over Sensation White Melbourne.. and now it was time to take over Australia’s largest club. (yeah, it really is the largest one). As I line up, people in line are pretty much staring at my awesome outfit. People left right centre are taking photos of me and with me, and I still haven’t stepped into the club yet! I think the outfit is alright. I still like my pirate one better.

No usyd represent?!
This was a joint university thing. There were placards everywhere with “I <3 UNSW”, “I <3 UTS”, and “I <3 MACQ” .. but where was “I <3 USYD”??? Nowhere, my friend. I couldn’t find any placards. What a travesty!! Well, someone has to represent!

Photobooth is designed to steal your money.
Met some girls and we jumped into the photobooth for photos. It’s 8 dollars!! Jesus H. Christ what a rip off. So in goes 1 dollar, 2 dollars.. a few more.. until it says there is $1.50 left. Chuck in a dollar and it doesn’t accept it. Throw another $2 coin and it just swallows it. Oh my god.. what a crafty little machine this was… eating our money and yet not producing photos!! What a load of horseshit! Meanwhile, immature teenage boys keep peeking into the booth, praying that we are having an orgy of some sorts. Ha, one can only dream.

I have many many fans. Most of them guys.
A lot of guys come up and say things like ‘awesome outfit’, ‘can I have a photo?’, ‘JESUS!’, or anything along those lines. I like them, I take photos and usually we part. But shit, this one particular guy followed me around half the night! After we had our photo I dug into the main room and beelined to the middle. I turn around he is right behind me, following me! Fair enough, so I stop, but he stops as well. He wants to hang out and dance with Gandalf. My golly gosh. Biggest grin on his face everytime I looked back at him. He’s a fan of me, big deal. I had a suspicion he could have been gay, but I will never know.

He stalked me around the place

Getting up on main stage.
People are jumping up on stage and a random girl I met has jumped up for dance. Other people who are trying to get up are promptly taken down by security. I decide to give it a try, since I have the best outfit tonight and all. I crawl up onto the stage and stand up in front of the crowd. Everyone cheers, but within 2 seconds the security detail tell me to get off. So so unfair. Meanwhile the random girl is left ALONE up on stage to dance. She isn’t even dancing. I would call it swaying her body left and right, with the occasional booty bump to add flavour. She was obviously loving this attention. Godamn some things in life are unfair. One day I will be allowed up on stage!!

More guys follow me to take leftovers
Most places I went in the main room, guys are following me. I am noticing a trend. Girls come up to me and talk, and then these guys are swooping in left right and centre to be my wingman. I didn’t ask for this! Oh well, what are you going to do.

Girls don’t like hairy guys
I love this outfit. I walked by a few girls (and this only happens with girls) .. and you can see the look on their face as I walk by. Their entire face screws up into the ‘what the f*ck?’ look, or occaisionally a girl would turn around and see me coming – they literally YELP in shock / fright about this menacing wizard walking past. It’s quite entertaining for me. haha

Boob Squeeze War!
Yeah, a random girl squeezes my boobs without permission. I find that unfair, so I naturally grabbed and squeezed her boobs back without asking her. She REELED BACK in horror and gave me the DIRTIEST look ever. hahahahahahhahahaa..  how does it go – eye for an eye?

.. so take off all your robes
It was getting hot in here, so off went the cape and wigs. I felt like a free man. Meanwhile the wigs and cape sit near a group of 8 or so asians, who stare at me, C and her friend dance. They are literally gawking at us. I would probably have been doing the same thing back when I was 18/19, praying one day I could dance like that.

Getting pretty hot.. took off the beard

Anyway they seem bored and decide to do what any normal bored person does at a club – PUT ON SOMEONE ELSE’S OUTFIT. Second thing I know, there is a guy with my wig, beard and cape on. It’s funny, but I have to keep a close eye on it – I don’t want to get this stuff stolen. They seem friendly enough and we take some happy snaps. They can’t dance though, which was a shame.

He put on my white outfit without asking - it suits him though

Here’s an extra video of a raver at the Sublime room:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Arrivederci
C and friend want to leave at 2am, primarily of the bizarre music that was now playing, but Gandalf convinces them to stay another hour, and we leave 3am.

Recommendation

First half rnb was good. Everyone is in the party mood. However only the main room was open at this time for the rnb lovers. Still was a good atmosphere.

I Love Uni @ Home Nightclub (upto midnight) – 7.5/10

Second half is where the sublime / Oh My! crowd came in.. mixed feelings – all rooms were opened up and the choice of music you want to dance to was wide open, but the crowd just wasn’t there. There were not enough people to fill all rooms up. It was busy, but not like you would expect on an old ‘Famous’ Saturday night when it was truly at capacity. If the ‘I Love Uni’ was not on earlier – I am pretty sure the place would have been pretty dead. The trance room was a sad sight – I wish more people were into it – however the people inside were friendly and just danced away.

Oh My / Sublime @ Home Nightclub Sydney – 5/10

The Market @ Haymarket Hotel

Assessment Time:  ~12:30 – 2am
Opening Hours: 9pm – 2am
Website: http://www.themarketvip.com
Address: 661-663 George St, Chinatown, Sydney

Dress Code / Door Policy: As stated on the door “STRICT DRESS CODE APPLIES.. Guys collared shirts or jackets are essential – no sportswear, shorts or runners”. I was still wearing my American Indian outfit from Future Music Festival a few hours earlier. It was just brown pants with the indian top on, non-collared. I walked up to the scary looking security woman. She looks at me and my outfit and lets me in – telling the girls at the counter “Don’t worry let him in – He’s alright!!!”. Hell yeah – Chief Breaking wind is awesome! (Edit 24/03/10 – Truth be told, the promoters knew about Future Music Festival and apparently have ‘relaxed’ the dress code for tonight for any FMF party goers)
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $20
Guestlist: Discount if on list. email themarketvip@gmail.com – free entry before 10:30 . Before I got in, some people spoke with me and said I could pretend to be on “David’s guestlist”. However when I got to the counter, guestlists were finished at 12am, so it was no longer relevant. I know the promoter, but only if he were here tonight I could’ve scored free entry.
Inside: Promotional material claims 3 levels. Well its 3, but more 2 and a half. Bottom level is the Martini Cocktail lounge, and is very loungey, and dark. It has a bar and the lounge area is cut into 3 smaller areas, and for the promoters point of view it is presumed these can be used for birthday events. Ground level is where the main bar is and main dancefloor is. The actual dancefloor itself is very small. As small as the one they have at Bar 333. (Yes, they do have a dancefloor, its that small) – about 4 x 5 metres square. Even the bar here is bigger than the floor. Stools are everywhere around. Top level upstairs hangs over the bar and lounge area, to overlook the ground floor. I didnt go upstairs because I was told a group of gangsters were chilling out over there. (All the gansters have matching leather jackets with their gang sign emblazoned on the back) This is where also the DJ is spinning his tracks.
Cloak Room: None
Bar: I didn’t drink tonight
DJs: Kai, Willtown, Biggie, Beef, Nam (obtained for the 20th March event, but these are usually the same DJs for the weeks prior).
Music: RnB, HipHop, House Mashups. I can’t believe they have one DJ to service all 3 levels here. Could it be a money saving exercise? Who knows, it’s a different approach though.
Crowd: Asian, and mostly older. There is a 30th birthday party here, and I see some other asians I recognise around the 25 year old age mark.
Entertainment: No extra dancers or MC that I could recall, but there probably was an MC
Atmosphere: It was busy, but it was not at capacity as it was a few weeks ago when I tried to get in. Interesting. Half the asians being at Future Music Festival and going home afterwards may have been a factor.
360 view video from the ground floor dancefloor

Click here to view the embedded video.

Keep reading more on the timeline ..

Timeline:

My energy comes back!
Well I was really tired.. so I walk upon the small dancefloor and I spot Derelick and Andy upstairs. They see me and laugh about how silly I look. I start to dance slow, and by miracle, the music has given me energy and soon enough I am dancing with my feet while people who stand by and watch in awe as the American Indian does his dance. Quite fun.

Downstairs we go, and I come up to the bar. The bar tender girl can’t stop smiling at me, but she dare not say a word about it. We both know what is going on, and I refuse to explain myself. Hmph!

Harassed by that sound
I don’t know how the sound goes, but it sort of sounds like ‘oololoolooo loo loo loo !’, while you shape your mouth in an ‘O’ shape and rapidly tap your mouth with the palm of your hand. You know, that American Indian noise that we make before attacking some Conferedate bastards.

So everywhere I go, I hear girls go ‘OOllaooloooloo loo loo !!’ as I walk by. They think its the funniest thing they have ever done. Well, frankly, its racist. I don’t do that. As a member of the Apache tribe I am offended by such ignorant behaviour by pretty girls! Oh its all fun and games isn’t it?

Arrivederci
It was only a quick 90 minute trip here, as the place closes at 2am. We were promptly kicked out.

Recommendation
A normal clubbing night. There was a fight upstairs though.. which was not surprising in the Chinatown side of things. Though i did come late, so I don’t know how good it was earlier.

The Market @ Haymarket Hotel – 5.5/10