Dancefloor @ Coogee Bay Hotel Sydney

Saturdays @ Coogee Bay Hotel
Assessment Time: Midnight – 03:00AM
Opening Hours: Unknown – 03:00AM
Lockout: None
Website: www.coogeebayhotel.com.au
Address: Coogee Bay Rd, Coogee, Sydney
Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual was ok tonight. Sneakers and hats allowed. Half the crowd wore t-shirts, the other half, casual collars. Only a handful of people including us were nicely dressed. I certainly felt very well dressed as I walked in tonight.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Free tonight, but these guys have the fingerprint scanners installed. I get worried when a venue has this technology as it would only mean violence has occured here before.
Guestlist: None tonight. It was a regular Saturday, and the Coogee Bay Hotel does its own promotions.
Occurence: Every Saturday bar special events where entry fee applies.
Inside: The actual club is just one section of the whole complex – similar to how The Albion is setup. Walk in and the live band room is on the right, sports bar on the left. Keep walking in to enter the large beer garden at the back, and bistro on the left. On the right is the club. In the walkthrough video below, we walk from the entrance straight into the club. The clubbing room itself has a wooden dancefloor to hold about 100-150 people comfortably. Some lounges around the surrounding carpeted areas. It feels a little bare, but the whole place is dark, so you eventually forget about the barebones setup. 
Cloak Room: None
Bar: Did not buy from the bar tonight. However throughout, the line was about 2 people deep. Expect at least a 5 minute wait.
Music: Non-Commercial House, Dubstep, Rnb/pop mashup.
Crowd: Mostly young people here. Teenagers and early 20′s. A handful of people in their 30′s as well, who have come for a bit of a dance after dinner I guess. Pretty much everyone here was caucasian, and probably locals. I would not imagine a non-local making the trek all the way out here on a regular night.
Entertainment: No MC, no podiums. Just the DJ and dancefloor, and some UV lights
Atmosphere: It was busy throughout the whole night. It never got too packed, so you could always have room to dance. Sometimes it got close to squishy but nothing to worry about – you could dance somewhere else – the dancefloor was large enough to accommodate - people danced on surrounding carpet areas as well. Pretty dark in some places around the floor but lighting keeps the floor itself well lit.
Evictions: I saw 2 dudes in total kicked out for being drunk. One was ready to start a fight on the dancefloor. The other was throwing TAB betting sheets all over the sports room and pretended nothing happened when questioned by security – paper littered all around him – hilarious.
Video: Walkthrough

Click here to view the embedded video.

With a coogee local! That is not how he normally looks.

Conclusion: This place is friendly for all natios. Way more than The Mean Fiddler, even though I liked it there.

The short man
There was a short man who looked amish but had a brown beard, and he danced funny. For a good 5 minutes he stood there pointing his hand in the air, his finger tapping an invisible button. He was surprisingly dressed well like us. You can see him as part of the 360 video below:

Click here to view the embedded video.

The next 2 hours was spent consoling this random person. She kept telling us that we could keep the money as long as she gets her passport back – as if we would steal stuff! She didn’t even want to go to police, as she assumed she had to bribe them to get anything done – thats how it operated where she came from. We are pretty lucky. Anyway, harsh lesson learnt – use a cloak room. Oh wait, this place didn’t have one. Lesson is, don’t ever put your little purse down.

Post Mortem
Next day, it was revealed that when the club closed, the dude who was meant to take care of the bag forgot he was meant to take care of the bag. He thought it was a strangers bag thinking that the lost bag would be reported lost to police (it was), he dumped the bag on the sofa instead of handing it in to bar staff. He didn’t want police on his back. What a douchebag. A few days later, the bag was handed back to the backpacker, minus all the cash.

Arrivederci
We are ceremoniously kicked out at closing time. The sports bar room remained open if you wanted to keep on drinking.

Recommendation
A generally friendly crowd and good dancing atmosphere and music to break some moves to. However the night was ruined with the lost bag and Martys lost phone. People are so unfreakingreliable. I’m sure this place has its merits though I probably won’t come back here – it does take a while to get here from the city.

Saturdays @ Coogee Bay Hotel: 5.5/10

360 video:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Well this was the dancefloor. Everyone here is really old and I’m feeling very out of place. Two older women like our basic dancing. The other guys questioned what we were doing here.

The DJ looked about 40 or 50, and was playing a lot of retro songs.

Left out of boredom and shame.

Clubs that were rejected tonight
Flow @ World Square Pub / Equilibrium:
We planned to go here tonight. There is no line outside. That’s good. $20 entry. Though as we got to the door, the internal line inside to go upstairs was packed. there was about 50 people croweded at the base of the stairs waiting for their turn to go upstairs. Oh hell no – we are not going in! So walk off we go…

Tourism @ Tao Lounge:
There was an event on tonight. The bouncer said “Don’t even bother coming in here.” We wanted to see what it was. Bouncer: “Go in for a bit of a laugh if you want. Nobody is dancing in there”. So we went in side. It was free entry anyway. There was about……….. 17 people including us 4. A guy and girl were on the dancefloor. She is standing doing nothing, and he is moving his arms up and down, like he is perforing curls on an invisible 1kg dumbell. It is ridiculous – and so is the music. We left after a wasted 10 minutes.

V Bar had cover charge so we didn’t go in, but it looked dead.

Puls8 @ Shark Hotel was dead as well tonight. (Saturdays are better).

Our final destination – random private party @ Burdekin Hotel
Continued the merry walk down Oxford St, where we strike up some ye old conversation with the patrons outside Burdekin Hotel. They were nice enough to invite us to their private party upstairs at the top level! Booyah!

Got inside – we are really the only asians here, but everyone here is friendly. Most are dancing, its cool. There’s a DJ and the room is dark and ideal for dancing. Mirror covering the back wall for a bigger impression of the room. Enough lounges for the size of the dancefloor. It’s a nice little place for a private party indeed.

There was really only one other good dancer here, but he seemed to only dance whenever I was dancing, and only with the girls i was cracking onto as well. A bit stalkerish, when a guy tails you around, but what are you going to do aye.

The other half of the time, the girl who brought us in was running back and forth from the bathroom throwing up, lol. Anyway everyone here is friendly. Unisex bathrooms provided much chat fodder as well. Met lots of people that night.

Arrivederci
I think at 5AM we were just really freaking tired, and yet people were still in here dancing their socks off. Bloody amazing. This is how people at a club should be! Would I have my birthday here? It is ok to have a birthday here, but only if there are heaps of people. The atmosphere of the floor provides more for dancing rather than socialising once the music is up and pumping, so check it out first before having an event here.

Civic Hotel Underground Pit Dance Area

Saturday. I am to play catchup with a friend, and he is at Civic Hotel, so here we go!

Adult Disco @ Civic Underground
Assessment Time: 01:35-01:45AM
Website: http://www.civichotel.com.au/pages/home.asp
Address: 388 Pitt St, Sydney
Dress Code / Door Policy:
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $25 we were told at the cashier, so we pretty much turned around to leave. She said “WAIT! WAIT!” and told us, that for the three of us, she would discount it to $15. This was surely a bad sign, but we did not notice. Before 11pm, entry is free.
Guestlist: None that I could find.
Occurence: Every Saturday
Inside: This place is of similar size of the Favela upstairs component. You walk in to the bar area with sofas and tables arranged in the same manner as a dine-in saloon restaurant in america. The dancefloor is in a pit, in the far back left corner, to hold about 80 people. It’s not very big.
Cloak Room: None
Bar: Did not drink
DJs: Unknown
Music: “Adult Disco” was the name of the event tonight. What kind of music was this? This was some really underground funky house music they were playing. Not commercial friendly at all, but even so, it was absolutely not danceable to at all. Ugh, but some patrons here were enjoying it. The short time I was here, I just felt my mojo being drained away from me. You can listen to the music in the video below.
Crowd: Definitely just adults. Lots of people in their 20′s, maybe 30′s. Mostly wogs/aussies.
Entertainment: No extra curricular things here.
Atmosphere: Dark, confined and not feeling the vibe at all.
Video: 360

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline:
In and out faster than a premature guy
Walked in and realised how shit the music was. Was not feeling anything and I and friends pretty much felt ripped off. Took the videos and photos and left

Arrivederci
Left to go to Shark Hotel up the road, which has at least danceable music.

Recommendation
This place is not for the person who has only heard music via the radio. For me, I could not tolerate it.. Perhaps this music is truly underground, but for me it is absolutely undanceable to – and danceability (if that is a word) is what I am here for. It is though great music to sway side to side with. I suppose I was not the target audience they were seeking, so I can’t blame them. There was a audience though who likes this music as the floor was pretty packed.

For the punter who visits rnb/house clubs, I can’t recommend this place at all. If you are going to visit this place, get here early to avoid paying the entry fee.

Adult Disco @ Civic Underground: 2/10

Blue Butterfly Arthouse Crowd - 1AM

Another weekend, another birthday. Tonight it’s Arthouse, so here we go!

Blue Butterfly @ Arthouse
Assessment Time: 01:00AM – 2:30AM
Opening Hours: 10:30PM – 03:00AM
Lockout: None
Website: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=23591850198
Address: 275 Pitt St, Sydney
Dress Code / Door Policy: Smart Casual. Everyone is dressed well. Guys collared shirts. some t-shirts. Girls are almost all in dresses. I spotted a short lesbian with jeans.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $25 standard entry. $20 on guestlist
Guestlist: See group and follow events to find guestlist details
Occurence: Once a month or so. 
Inside: Within the arthouse only the main room is open for clubbing. You walk into a hall-like room. Half is occupied by stools, chairs, and the other half a wooden dancefloor for about 100 people. Bar on the right to serve all patrons. 
Cloak Room: None
Music: Mostly RnB tonight.
Crowd: Mostly Asian. Some Aussies and Euros.
Entertainment: An MC was here. 
Atmosphere: Good, considering it was past peak time.
Walkthrough:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline:
I am not allowed to talk to girls
I am with the birthday group and I decided to talk to two randome girls from another party. Not after 5 seconds. One of the guys from our party steps in between me and the two randoms, and pulls me away saying “no, no, no”. Why? Were they Mafia / Triad girls? They didn’t look like it. Did he think I had a girlfriend? Not the case. Were they his girlfriends? Didn’t appear so. The only logical conclusion was that he was gay and into me. I don’t have proof of this but what else can explain this mysterious cockblocking behaviour from a fellow man?

Taking over
Well, there really wasn’t many people on the dancefloor to take over, so acquisition was quite easy.

Fight at the end
Apparently big brawl at the end of the night ended things early for all patrons.

Arrivederci
Left around 2:30 for some Hungry Jacks across the road

Recommendation
This was an average night. Again, disappointed in only one room being open tonight. Probably not worth the $25,  especially that its only one room open. Arthouse Hotel – 4.5/10

Click here to view the embedded video.

Also, I met a girl dancing guessed her name was Cherie. She said it was Sherry. Close enough. I am pretty awesome.

Arrivederci
Left as the place was quickly dying. I think it was 02:30AM.

Recommendation
Not a place for pure dancing. The Argyle is a place for drinking and dancing if you want. Recently renovated it looks pretty good as well. Check it out for a drink if anything else. No rating as this place doesn’t qualify.

Are they real?

Today I am avoiding RnB – and I have never been to Club 77, so lets check it out – Here we go!

The Party @ Club 77
Assessment Time: Part I: 10:30-11:00PM, Part II: 02:15-02:30AM
Opening Hours:10:30-4:00am
Website: http://www.myspace.com/club_77, http://www.myspace.com/mrparty
Address:77 Bayswater Road, Kings Cross, Sydney
Dress Code / Door Policy: Casual is the norm here.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: I haggled the guy to $5 each, under very suspicious circumstances.
Guestlist: None
Inside: The entrance to Club 77 is a typical black wooden door, with the party smoke gashing out of it. The Club itself is underground, so you got to walk down the smokey stairs to enter the area licensed to hold 280 people. Bar is on the left, DJ at the front, and a handful of lounges at the corners, where it is very dark.
Cloak Room: None
Bar: $3 for a lemonade as far as I can recall
DJs: Who knows, and more importantly, who cares?
Music: I can’t put my finger on the crap that the DJ was playing. It wasn’t quite house, and it wasn’t quite retro and it wasn’t quite pop. It made me feel uncomfortable. You would try to dance to it, but the music was such that you couldn’t go hard at it – you were forced to relax to the thumping noise. Imagine being at a gay bar and hearing this kind of music…
Crowd: Part I: Entirely Asian. Yes, can you believe it? Easy to explain – It was just me and Marty for the first 30 minutes. Part II, it was more mixed now – half asian, and the other half were two caucasian guys. No females at all.
Entertainment: None
Atmosphere: Dead, dark and shit. I would rather go have my fingernails pulled out to get my adrenalin rush than to be here.
Walkthrough Video of Club 77

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline:
First in?
We walked here and arrived 10:30. As the doors opened, I saw a shabbily dressed guy who was SLEEPING ON THE SIDEWALK, suddenly wake up and walk in. Was this the place I wanted to check out? Got to the bouncer, and he said we were the first patrons. The other dude was a staff member!

They tried to rip us off
We don’t know what to expect tonight. At the door, we ask how much the cover charge is. The dude raises one hand to signifity 5 dollars, and then glances a look at the other guy who shakes his head slightly momentarily, and then he raises his other hand to make it 10 bucks!!! WHAT?!? I had to bargain those bastards back down to $5 each, claiming we were the very first patrons here. They agreed and took the money. There was no cash register.

Free Porno
I am exploring this little club, and walk to the bathroom. A little thing was found. Porno pictures all over the wall! It’s just a huge freaking wall covered from floor to ceiling with nude chicks with nothing to hide. It’s an amazing sight. This is 2D heaven on Earth. Look to the other wall for the opposite sex bathroom, and you are presented with scores of images of just penises. There’s not many faces or bodies of the men in question, its just a zoom in on many bushes, and their dicks flopped out for you to perve on. Bloody disgusting. Marty refused to have a photo taken with the phallic wallpaper, but hey, we took some with the boobs! Check them out:

The wall of porn @ Club 77

Marty with his wife

We also opened the door to one of the bathrooms, and the moment we opened the door, eminating from the otherside was a blaringly bright, epileptic, strobe light coming from who knows where. BLINK BLINK BLINK it yells at us. We did not dare walk inside. This place was starting to scare us out.

Special Room
There is also a special room at the back. The entrance to the door says ‘Gay Room’ or something. I did not walk inside there.

The club has flatlined
After giving this place 30 minutes, a total of about ZERO people turned up while we were there. This is the most DEAD club I have EVER been to. Worse than the failed once off rnb night at Home Bar, worse than the opening night at Katsumas , and even worse than the night I was the only one at a Katoomba Club dancing to James Brown with a 40 year old DJ who looked like point dexter (This was before this website started) – at least that place was free entry!! Even my local library is more alive than this place.

The empty dancefor that is Club 77

The only other patron is a Cockroach
It is just the two of us and eight staff members. So let’s do some cartwheels! I take a video of my cartwheeling. Upon my second attempt I stumble upon a cockroach! Check it out:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Mini Arrivederci
We leave 11:00PM to check it out later to see if it has picked up, to return approx 2:00AM

The population has doubled
I and Marty have returned for Part II of Club 77, hoping that the place was more busy. We walked in downstairs and there was no longer a man guarding the entrance – you could just walk in for free. FML. As we got inside there were TWO GUYS inside! Wow, that is now four of us in the club.

These two guys like us.. a lot
Theres two bored looking guys at the bar. We all struck up conversation, and they are pretty friendly… but I presume they are a little drunk, because nobody could be so happy in a shithole like this.

So one guy goes up on the podium and dances, I decide to join in for some stupid dance moves, but the music hasn’t improved at all – its still tripping me out. My partner jumps down on the floor and holds his arms out – he screams to me
Dude: ‘Jump, jump – I will catch you!’…
No fucking way I was going to jump into his arms. He was definitely into me. I step off the podium instead and then he tells me:
Dude: ‘You know, if you jumped I would’ve caught you’
James: haha really
Dude: ‘Yes, I would have caught you… every single day’
James: … haha.. oh really…
Dude: ‘After I finish my beer, I’m going to step into the back room and have some fun with the other guys’ (big smile)
James: Okay.

This guy wants to break me off. I look at Marty, and his dude is right into his personal space, ranting on about some random stuff. He was definitely drunk, and hitting on Marty. Marty looks unfazed by the whole ordeal.

Arrivederci
I wanted to get out of this dead ass, shithouse music playing, gay guys hitting on us, pornographically saturated, epileptically bathroom lighted, cockroach-infested club as soon as possible. As soon as the two gay guys danced on their own, I dragged Marty out. We escape to dance another day.

Recommendation
Cockroaches, bizarre music, very bent, no patrons and a shit atmosphere. ‘The Party’ has nothing going for it and they still have the balls to put cover charge. This is the worst place I have ever been to. Avoid this place at all costs on Friday. These guys seriously need to do some more promoting as just having a myspace page doesn’t cut it anymore these days. Given, Saturdays I have actually seen people outside, so I check it out then, but it is probably a sauna, as we were getting pretty warm just being down there..
The Party @ Club 77 – 0/10 (ZERO)

Table reserved for James! Shanghai Nights @ Brooklyn Hotel

A friend has a birthday and has decided to hold it at Brooklyn Hotel for the Shanghai Nights event. . I don’t want to go, as last time was mediocre for me, but I must keep up appearances, plus it will give this place another chance for a review, so here we go!

First as you enter, and the inside room is dead. Walked out and all the languishers who entered Brooklyn before 9pm were still here, drinking and eating. About 20 or so people, including a group of friends. Small world!

I pretend to be “James”

Podium dancing

It’s squishy to dance on the floor, and so I hopped up for a bit of a short dance. I had to ask permission from the podium dancers before I got up. I did my thing, but I probably looked like a fool After 2 songs the podium dancer kicks me off and does her thing with the head spinning and fancy dancy stuff.

Arrivederci

Recommendation

View of Brooklyn's main room from the front.

Never in the history of my RnB clubbing career for 4 short years have I been bombarded with promotional material for the Grand Opening of this night. Facebook, email, posters, more facebook, more email, more posters. You would expect them to do door knocking as well. The previous event at V-Bar had finally closed and the promoters, Urban Agent, have had success on their 40/40 Saturday Nights at Brooklyn – “why not do a Friday one as well?” They think. It’s an ambitious launch, to replicate the experience of a Shanghai nightclub with waitresses and limo service to the venue from a pick up spot at world square. A friend wants to check it out, so a guestlist was organised, and I was keen to see how Brooklyn has changed since the new promoters took over. So here we go!

Shanghai Nights @ Brooklyn Hotel Sydney

Assessment Time: 10:30 – 3:00am
Website: http://www.urbanagent.com.au
Address: Cnr George and Grovenor Street, Sydney
Dress Code / Door Policy: Dress code applies. Collared shirt for guys. However casual would have gotten away with it tonight.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: $25 Guestlist: Well well well.. this is a special point. One can usually send in a guestlist and get a $5 discount or more. Tonight, as we enter the club, the flat fee was $25, and ALL GUESTLISTS WERE CANCELLED. What the fuck! It was only 10:30. Well, apparently they were allowed to do it, because there were so many fucking people outside. They could have charged $30 or $40 and people would still have probably paid up. Total fucking rort.
Inside: A main bar dance area to hold 100 or so people with DJ elevated a metre or so above the floor. Central circular bar. Second bar at the back to primarily serve the back outdoor courtyard. The courtyard holds 2 or 300 people. A second DJ resides here as well.
Cloak Room: I can’t remember, but it was a reasonable price – $4 or something for an item.
Bar: I did not drink tonight, but they had $3.50 for shot based drinks until midnight. Much more reasonable than $17 vodka red bulls the last time I was here.
DJ: Unknown Music: RnB inside the main room. Mixed as a professional does – choruses only to keep the crowd going with the occasional commercial house song thrown in.
Crowd: Mostly if not all asian. The occasional white person and indian clubber were also represented tonight.
Entertainment: MC for the main room at night. Promoters giving out lanyards the entire night like hotcakes, I suspect it was because the lanyards had the old V-Bar “Amber” event printed on them, rendering these lanyards throwaway material. By the end of the night everybody including myself had two of these things. Head promoter is throwing out free T-shirts out to the crowd. Nice. There is also a free shuttle service from world square to Brooklyn, if you book ahead, but why World Square? My suspicion is partly to show all the people lining up ouside of Flow: “Hey, you guys going to Flow, do you get a stretch hummer? nope. we rule and you drool”. That is my conspiracy theory. (Promoters have since dropped the Stretch Hummer promotion). Later around midnight, a dancing chinese dragon came in, which had blinking lights and everything. That was pretty impressive, even though Chinese New Year was last month. Also being the grand opening night, confetti is sprayed everywhere amongst the crowd. It’s hard to not like and hate this place at the same time. To top it off, there’s also a BBQ out in the back. They’ve gone all out here.
Atmosphere: Packed like sardines inside, smokey in the back outside area. Inside the vibe was good, but still too packed for my liking. Keep reading for more details on my thoughts on this whole setup

Nom Nom BBQ

Review & Timeline
Superlong line but we get in.
As with massively promoted nights with a zillion birthdays being held, you should expect really long lines. Tonight was no exception, with the separate guestlist and normal line stretching out for ages. It was only 10:30 and we knew the general line, at least, was a 80 minute or so wait. This kind of waiting really turns people off. LUCKILY, a friend knows the promoter, and within about 5 minutes the entire group is let inside. Woot! But seriously, for the uninitated clubber, they do think being on the guestlist means getting express entry and not waiting outside for 30 minutes to get in. Well, that’s what I used to think. Where is the justice?

At around 1am, I look out and people are still lining up to get inside. They have no chance – the place is packed, and I feel a tinge of sadness for them, as I once was in their position. Then I laugh to myself and keep dancing.

The poor souls outside have a look inside to see how much fun we are having.

Overpromising on the “4 massive arenas”
Such is the description given for each of brooklyn’s areas in the promotional poster. Jesus I nearly choked reading the flyer. Brooklyn really only has 2 dance areas, a small table area and a even smaller bar second bar area. These are the 4 arenas?? To describe these as 4 massive arenas can give the unsuspecting clubber the impression .. of 4 massive arenas to dance in. How many first timers to Brooklyn would have been disappointed with the setup, if they managed to get into the club? If any place should be close to “arena like” it would be Home or Tank Nightclubs, not Brooklyn.

The outdoor area is a disappointment
Alas, the largest area of Brooklyn is the outdoor area, and that was pretty crap. It was just a smokers paradise there, and the DJ assigned here had the unfortunate destiny to have his speakers set to 1 out of 10. I could have placed my mobile phone on loudspeaker and it wouldve gotten more people dancing. The volume was seriously that low. At least people could talk out here, but I did not go to the outdoor area to talk. I WANTED DANCE!

I miss the old dead Brooklyn.
The place now is packed, which is good to see, but at what cost? Regulars driven out, and cover charge smacked on. No doubt the night was declared a success by the promoters, with photos to prove – it was a success for the promoters but what about the punter? I have been massively disappointed with tonight in terms of the atmosphere, which I believe is a big part of the whole clubbing experience.

Table service
In the real city of Shanghai, small groups can get a private booth and be served by a dedicated waitress/hostess the entire night to bring drinks, games etc. Tonight was an attempt to replicate this, and it has unfortunately failed muchly. By about midnight everybody is standing up, and the bar is right next to the tables. The waitresses are redundant, and speaking of them, I only saw a handful of them tonight. It was advertised as 50 (now its 30) of the waitresses hanging out and about, so where were they? Did I seriously miss them?

I found a VIP Waitress!

Bowtie!
Lately I’ve been donning a bowtie, its awesome. I saw another guy and took a photo, but he wasn’t as enthusiastic seeing another guy with a bow tie. Maybe if I was a chick he would have been more happy in this photo:

Dude doesn't look happy to be with me wearing a bowtie

Arrivederci
Friends ditched me and so I eventually left.

Recommendation
Utterly disappointed. It’s not worth it. I hope the promoters will readjust what they promise in this night as well as acknowledge the existence of guestlists. With reports of 2000 to 4000 people in attendance the following week, they can surely use the excess money to improve the place somehow.

Shanghai Nights @ Brooklyn Hotel – 4/10

Good Vibrations Sydney 2010

I won two tickets to Good vibrations 2010 in a 25 words or less competition. ( I wrote a very clever line which I shall keep secret ). Matty made me enter the competition, so I gave the second ticket to him as reward. It was pretty hot midday so we bought some sombreros and awesome hologram sunnies at Market City and suddenly we were ready – so here we go!

Good Vibrations Festival @ Centennial Park

Assessment Time: 16:00 – 22:00 (closing time)
Website: http://www.gvf.com.au
Address: Centennial Park Sydney
Dress Code / Door Policy: Anything goes, no dress code.
Entry Fee / Cover Charge: Prepaid tickets were $145 each. I won tickets to the show today.
Inside: There were 5 official big areas for the acts to appear. There were also 2 smaller sponsored areas for dancing as well.
Cloak Room: $5 per item
Bar: $8 light beers, $10 smirnoffs. Thanks to the cool weather, there weren’t so many people lining up for a bar, and we had some booze in our hands within 3 minutes of lining up.
Bathroom Line: Appalling at about 20 minutes
Acts: Salt-N-Pepa, Armand Van Helden, DJ Crazee, Aston Shuffle were the main acts we visited today. Other acts included Busta Rhymes, Naughty by Nature. The Killers and Friendly Fires (I was dying to see Friendly Fires) had pulled out of the Sydney show.
Music: A mix of Indie Rock, Hip Hop, and House
Atmosphere: Despite the pullouts, the atmosphere was buzzing throughout the whole day. People are everywhere and its quite good. Later in the early evening it starts to rain but not too hard, but it rains enough for people to get out their ponchos. Instead of being a downer, people embrace the rain and keep dancing and singing along. The rain is also a huge welcome as earlier it was pretty stinking hot earlier in the afternoon.

Videos:

Salt-N-Pepa : Let’s talka bout Sex + Man Dancing on Tent

Click here to view the embedded video.

Everyone is cheering for this guy more than Salt N Pepa – hilarious – The poor guy was most likely kicked out, but for immortal fame in the eyes of thousands? Sure, why not.

Salt-N-Pepa : Push It

Click here to view the embedded video.

I was disappointed with the Salt N Pepa set – didnt know they were doing a DJ set. They were playing house music for crying out loud!

DJ Crazee: Playing Daft Punk’s “Alive”

Click here to view the embedded video.

DJ Crazee’s set was aweseome.. very well mixed and kept everyone going. Not a dull beat. Was very happy with this set

Armand Van Helden Good Vibrations: Bonkers

Click here to view the embedded video.

Armand Van Helden (Duck sauce): aNYway

Click here to view the embedded video.

I enjoyed Armand’s set. The rain gave a bit more of a wet atmosphere, but really prevented me from doing some epic dancing – I was just standing around singing along to the songs like everybody else. It would have definitely been more epic if his set was originally set in the Laundry tent where the surface was dancable.

The Aston Shuffle: Play the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s “heads will roll”

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline: So we got in without problems, cloak room no dramas – plenty of people on hand to help out, but when we went to Good Vibrations Stage.. we couldn’t even get close. There were just so many people!

Timeline

Big Sombrero Syndrome
We dig deep into the Good Vibrations crowd, but in every spot we stood, the people behind us would tell us to take off our Sombreros. HELL NO! We moved on and kept running into people who wanted us to “TAKE IT OFF!”. No. NO. nuuuuuuuuuuu!!! We finally found a little spot where there was a 1 metre gap behind us, an we happily stood there and watched the festivities.

Long toilet lines
These are a feature of every event for the people who purchased General tickets. Even so, there is only one VIP set of toilets – if you were at the back at the Star Bar area or the Roots tent, you would have to trek across to the other side of centennial park in order to get into the VIP tent and then there would probably be another line inside as well. Anyway we met a friend lining up for the toilets which was pretty funky dory!

We met them in the toilet line

Toilet competitions
Not sure if it was the sunnies, the sombreros or just our presence as men but we somehow are talking to all these girls in line! We made a challenge to see who would be quicker in the bathroom. I put down the gauntlet and declared I could be in an out in 1 minute. I barely scraped by – in and out of the toilet in 55 seconds. Oh yeahhh… Im the man! I can only thank god for giving me good muscular control over my bladder. I won the competition, but no prize to be had. Thats a relief.

Man with a suspicious backpack
There’s a man who has a backpack with a huge tube coming out of it and he’s sucking on it. How on earth did he sneak that in??!!

His girlfriend offers us a sip.. sure. It’s just water!! BOOO.

It's only water from the backpack

2 girls tonging each other like theres no tomorrow
We go inside the green room – its very relaxed here, but of course theres a DJ and we dance. The music is surprisingly easy to dance to and I enjoy it. I can’t remember exactly what type of house it was. There’s also a very high ratio of women in here, probably because this room was sponsored by SportsGirl. In a matter of moments I am dancing with a girl, woo! But then a friend of hers steps up behind her and grinds her bum. Ok fair enough, we keep on dancing, a sandwich of sorts. But this second girl.. she was totally grinding her friend really really rough, like dry humping. Suddenly a girl takes my sombrero and they start making out hardcore under my awesome hat!! Matty is laughing his ass off. I imagine myself under my hat, and I feel sad.

Last act (and women) of the night
So for the last act we went to The Aston Shuffle. I had already seen Basement Jaxx at Future Music Last year, so it was some proper dance time! I’m not familiar at all with the Aston Songs, but everyone under the tent here were dancing and cheering. I especially went all out with my socks being wet, and we get lots of awesome attention. We dance and a hot asian girl joins in our circle. I once again did something stupid and TALKED TO HER. She ran off.

But hey, another girl came along, gave me a random pash. I tried to talk to her but she, too, ran off. I REALLY HAVE AN UGLY VOICE!

Look! It's a girl in a punctured ball used as a poncho, lol.

Recommendation
It rained today and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Everybody else was going through the same experience and it became a kind of a comraderie. It just wasn’t fun walking out of the venue. Speaking of walking out, it was THE LONGEST walk out to the bus stop, and having wet socks really sucks. At least I wasn’t muddy like some of the others that were spotted.

Apparently the Naughty By Nature set was epic. I could see their entire tent was packed with no moving room. Anyhow, without the Killers, it was still an awesome day for us. Having free tickets really helped.

Good Vibrations Sydney – 8/10

I don’t remember much here. I came here with Marty and entry was $10.

I don’t even remember why we were here. It was a terrible idea, because I was so tired from the night before.

There was about 20-30 people in here, it was less dead than the other places out there at least.

My jacket and hat also got stolen. I left it on the seats, and I danced for a few songs. I came back and they were gone. Security nor the place did not have it.
SO DODGY. THERE WERE LIKE ONLY 20 PEOPLE IN THE CLUB AND SOMEONE STILL HAD THE BALLS TO STREAL IT.

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!1

Yes, partially my fault for not putting it in the cloak room, but still, if these type of people come to this club then its depressing.

Night was ruined. So Tired.

Music was alright. Some house techno thing going on.

Candy’s Apartment on Sundays – 2/10 because the people in here are fucking dodgy and steal your stuff. If I left my stuff in a packed asian clubs it wouldn’t have been stolen.

11 Quick Club reviews as seen from outside the club aka Window Shopping – 19th December 2009. (Northern Sydney CBD)

Saturdays @ Star Bar on George St
- Packed. However we had overdosed lately on Star Bar and its amusing crowd of non-english speaking tourists. It was a no go tonight, no matter how tempting it was to go inside there.

PS. I no longer write reviews when I visit star bar, as I visit this place too much.

Saturdays @ Arthouse on Pitt St (1am)
- Tonight was not an ‘Asian’ night (Fame), but it was a white-crowd event. House music was playing outside, and there was no line outside – it looked pretty shit inside from the outside. There was a cover charge.

Saturdays @ The Vault on Pitt St
- We walked by this bar and heard RNB music playing! Whoa, we have to try it out. We walk up to the entrance and there is a smallish dance floor with about 15 people dancing on it – it was almost dead, but better than Pavillion. However the bouncer refused us entry on the excuse of ‘a private function’. We were 4 guys so it was understandable, but the private function excuse didn’t seem congruent, as there was no second person to confirm a guestlist. Whatever, it was dead.

Saturdays @ Coolabar
- Music is pumping out, tape and escalators are in operation to the bar upstairs. There are two people outside. It was on! We know Coolabar is a shithole, but we want to wow the crowd inside, if there was one.

We run up but the two people inside tell us we can’t go inside, as the place is closed. What!?! You wonder why some places are even open at all if they are closing at 1.30am on a Saturday night.

Bamboo @ Martin Place Bar
- The line is shorter than usual, but there *is* a line, which is better than the other places so far. Entirely asian, and RNB playing outside, it is tempting to go inside, but all four of us were not big fans of paying $25 to go inside. People inside had santa hats on. We could see Jason the resident Korean bum dancer hogging the podium from the outside.

Security came up and spoke with us. We had a short fun chat and perved on some girls walking by, you know, typical man stuff. Security was called to kick out a drunk person. Moments later he is walking out with a drunk girl and 3 of her girlfriends supporting her. haha, it is not classy at all to see a drunk girl, let me tell you that. Security tells the girls it is all ok, and wraps his arms around the two girls beside him. LOL omg he is hitting on drunk girls outside of thd club – I want to be a bouncer now!!! haha, what a sneaky sleaze.

Funky Buddha @ Verandah Bar on Castlereagh St (Martin Place)
Here they recently opened the trance room again (after a 3 or 4 year absence). Cover is $20, crowd is asian, music is RNB and trance.

We ask some girls who left Funky Buddah if it was any good.
“Average” was the reply. It was in other words, shit. There was, though, a line outside, so it must be somewhat ok.

I do want to check it out as it’s been a while, and I have to see how the Trance room looks now.

Saturdays @ Red Room Hotel Chambers on Castlereagh St (Martin Place)
We were able to peek inside from the entrance – and even though it looked crowded, it didn’t seem like a fun atmosphere. Music was old school RNB, with a cover charge of $20 and an asian crowd.

Tank Nightclub (Bridge lane)
OneLove moved to the Bourbon about a month ago, and we did not know if there was any event, so we took a punt and walked here. It was, unfortunately, closed. (At the time writing, Onelove @ the Bourbon has also shut its doors)… I think I might start a new event here! ha.

20/20 @ Brooklyn Hotel (George St Circular Quay)
Ever since Privilege closed for renovations a few weeks ago, promoters Hypnotize moved their Saturday event to Brooklyn and joined with Urban Agent to help out. The result is that my favourite place to go for free drunk girls and $17 Vodka Red Bulls has turned into a cover charged event full of not so drunk people. I yearn for the former glory days of seediness.

I peek inside the main rnb room and it is pretty packed. I go around the back and look down in the outdoor courtyard area where they are playing house/trance. Back in the no-cover charge days, the place usually had 5-10 people dancing max, while the others sit and watch. Now with the help of the promoters, the entire back area as PACKED. Jesus fucking christ I could not believe what I was seeing – Brooklyn Hotel actually packed out! I could not see any concrete, it was just a sea of people standing up, dancing and cheering. It looked pretty awesome. The bartenders must be having a hard time adjusting to actually having to work non-stop.

However my friends, still don’t want to go inside. They are pretty adamant about not going inside here, considering the crappy times they had the last few times. haha.

Also, regular patrons here (i.e. the islanders) were lining up to get in, not knowing that they need to pay entry. There were some outside, thinking of other places to go. So the crowd inside was a mix of islanders, asians and aussies. Cover charge I am guessing is $20. Based on what I saw, it looks good.

Sienna @ Establishment on George St
We are just walking by. They’re playing house music, though I had thought Sienna was an RNB event. The crowd is dominantly Euro, and cover charge is $20. I do need to check this place out too. It looked pretty busy from what we could see

Saturdays @ Ivy on George St
Loud, and looking quite busy. We can’t see inside from the street but we can hear people cheering from the inside. Sounds like fun. Am definitely going to spend a night here one day next year.

Saturdays @ Bar 333 on George St (2am)
Bottom level was closed and upstairs looked pretty dead.

Arrivederci
By this time we have given up, and we have managed to end up back where we started – standing outside Star Bar. I was dying to do any form of dance, but friends were puffed out from walking up and down the CBD for 2 hours. Fair enough, but I wish they were keen for a dance!! So we called it a night.

Recommendation
If I had to pick a club tonight, it would be 20/20 @ Brooklyn Hotel.