Preface: Chinese Whispers @ Arthouse
The longest guestlist line on planet earth

The guestlist line outside arthouse. ha.

Video:

Click here to view the embedded video.

We had been in the guestlist line for about 30 minutes at the time I took this video. Meanwhile, the normal line ($5 extra) was a measly 20 people deep.After 10 more minutes of waiting, me and the guys left. C stayed in line to get in 30 minutes later, for a total of 1 hour waiting. She said she had an awesome time there, and that it was pretty packed. Of course it was packed, look how many asians there were in line!

Coda: Ditching the line for another club
So where did we go? We went onto Bligh Bar… I honestly wasn’t keen to come to Bligh Bar, but it was a friend of a friend who was organising it. When I met the friend of a friend, I recognized him! He was the same promoter for the Fridays @ Bar Europa (I think I gave it an ok review….) Here we go!

Klassic Nights @ Bligh Bar
Assessment Time: 12:30am – 1:30am
Address:  2a Bligh St, Sydney
Website: http://www.klassicnights.com
Dress Code: Casual ok. I wore a fedora hat, jeans, collared shirt, dress shoes.
Entry Fee/ Cover Charge: I think we paid $15
Inside: One main room, sectioned off by a hinese pretzel looking wall. Bar occupies an entire corner of floorspace. Tables and chairs everywhere else.
Crowd: Asian, young to mid 20s.
Music: Modern RNB

Atmosphere: Felt a little empty, could have been better. Actually it was shithouse. Think of Pavillion Hotel on a bad night. People sitting around the floor. At peak time, all 20 or so of us were dancing on the small floor.  There wasn’t much promotion that I noticed for this event, but the dance floor was small enough to have a vibe going. The last time I was here, urban agent held a Friday Night here back in December 2008 – they did a pretty ok job (I didn’t write an entry for it but I was dressed in a Santa Suit, feeding people chocolate). Tonight was worse. However we had paid our entry, and so we just danced it off. The only benefit of a dead club though, was that there was no waiting at the bar – Hooray!

Walk-in video:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Timeline

I am a social whore
Promoter: JAMES! My god you know everyone
Promoter (to my friend): I have THREE social circles, and James knows all of them! Social whore!

I am now officially an E-Grade Social Whore Celebrity amongst the mid 20′s Asian community in Sydney. I’m slowly getting there- Perez Hilton here I come!

The photographer with nothing to photograph.
When you’re a photographer at a busy club, you usually find an endless supply of women and different people to take photos of. You get people coming upto you asking for their photo taken. You are a star. Second to being the DJ, or the promoter, being a photographer is just another way to stalk on women. Now, that said, our club photographer had already photographed the other 20 people three times over. So when we walked in, (a whole bunch of men), he pouned on us. Especially on Martin and Myself, since we were wearing Fedora hats. SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP! goes his camera. It’s quite scary.

I put on my headband. SNAP SNAP SNAP SNAP! it goes again. He’s trigger happy. If I didn’t feel it before, I really feel like an E-grade Asian celebrity now. Later in the night he stopped taking photos and started dancing. He’s an extremely energetic and good dancer. Perhaps that could be a future career for me.

The bartenders likes us
We are dancing about and ask for water. About half an hour later we ask for water again. By the 3rd time she knows what we want. For some reason we do a dance for her, and then the whole bar is watching Martin pull some slick moves, while I pretend to push a lawnmower. Self amusing indeed.

Coda & Recommendation
Left around 1.30am to try another club.
At this point in time I can’t recommend this place. Bligh Bar seems to be a magnet for mediocre to craptacular events. It might be the venue or promotions, but it’s not good for the opening night.

Bligh Bar Klassic Nights 27th September 2009 – 1.5/5

Bligh Bar sydney 12:30am. At least I had room to dance.

Star Bar
We amzingly managed to get inside, but at 2am, this place was packed as! Seriously it must be the fact that its free entry and on George St. Martin and I dance around a lot.

We are talking to some girls, and we convince them for a dance. “Sure!” they say. They stand up and walk THREE STEPS to the edge of the table and dance. They are way too scared to enter the crowd. Why? Fobby girls are bizarre.

Coda:
We are all kicked out 3am and move on to Cheers

Star Bar 27th September: 3/5

Cheers Nightclub
I had to show Martin this hellhole. It’s something I like to do for people after 3am. There’s only one story worth telling here…

I almost kissed a super short chubby chick
He bumped into a friend who he met at Parramatta. He is hitting on her and her short chubby friend is cockblocking him, so I have to take this grenade. I say hello and ask for her name. She suddenly grabs me and starts grinding on me. It’s pretty sudden, and pretty rough. Why are all the fat chicks so good at dancing?? Her hands are all over me and I am praying to the dance gods that Martin has done something with his girl. Meanwhile, my short friend has turned arond and grinded her ass on me. She is really really into it, and she is also really really drunk. She keeps grinding.. swiping her ass left and right over my general crotch area. Then it happens, I get a hard on. I can’t help it! no matter how much I thought of unsexy thoughts.. her sheer force and willpower to give me a good time worked. I felt ashamed, but my mind started to wonder – maybe she’s good in bed. She pulls me down to her eye-level and she’s looking into my eyes, just waiting for me to make out with her… and I can’t do it. I have already had my fair share of chubby girls in the past, and I could not shame myself again. I hold it off and keep dancing. Eventually after kissing my friend her friend comes back to save he from me. phew!

5 minutes later my short friend is heavily making out with another guy. The sight of this literally made my stomach churn. I couldn’t look at all. However it was worth it.

A guy begs me to call him
A guy we danced 1 minute with asked for my number then pleaded.. made me promise that I would call him so we could hang out – now you’re thinking – he’s gay. But I saw him hitting on a girl before! Well he could be bisexual. I just can’t face calling this guy to hang out with. It’s a little creepy.

Coda:
We leave at closing time. It’s 5.30am. Cheers wasn’t as bad as it usually is, which was funny.

Cheers Nightclub after 3am – 27th September 2009: 1.5/5 for a club open at this time as it was still busy. Seediness did not help.

Coolabar:
We got in and there were 3 mature ladies dancing on their own. Besides their 4 friends on the side not dancing, there were no other girls in the club. We bought a drink each and sat down then skulked about the start of a crap night… we see an old couple walk by outside, look inside and immediately walk out again. I didnt even jiggle my butt in there.

Cheers
Got here about 11.30. and it was fairly busy, but only one or two people dancing on the floor. I do a bit of a dance, and people were looking. The scary thing about Cheers is that there are people literally bordering the dancefloor staring at you drinks in their hand – you have no breathing room, and its really intimidating. I still have yet to brave dancing here alone. Eventually it got really packed.

Stripper man dance move
We’re dancing and we hear screams. A random guy behind us is grinding against a random girl. She’s screaming but keeps going, as she secretly likes it. Everyone just stares at him. You can actually hear him say “yeah thats right, that’s all i want, a little dance”, like a pedophile – I couldnt stop laughing.. it was crazy awesome. He then pulls up his shirt to show off his flat tummy.. poor girl nearly fainted and her friends pulled her away. Everyone gave him props.

After this the pizza was getting to us.. we left for…

Shark Bar / Hotel
Two shit clubs so far, it would be fun to make it 3 in a row. We got in, and there was already a group of guys taking all the girls. They had already established a circle and were doing crazy shit. Needless to say, we ran out of energy after about 5 or 6 songs. There was nobody in here worth even looking at.

We left and called it a night at 1.30am. Pathetic, and easily the worst night out clubbing this year. Should have gone to Side bar to finish it off.

Cheers timeline
Packed when we got in. We drank. Then we danced on the small floor. Music was rnb. It was music played from CDs or something. Crowd still fobby asian.

I love you J-Kwon
I was so tipsy, I approached almost all the half decent girls and attempted to talk or slut dance with them. Wasn’t quite working. Wasn’t much room to show off because it was so packed with people dancing in this tiny room and its matching floor, so it was me and joe just bopping, waving our hands in the air. Pretty normal.

A free shot
I remember farting a lot that night. I let out a ripper and Joe sniffed it. We moved to a couch where I hadn’t farted. Some song was playing. I stood up and danced when th chorus played. A group of 2 fob guys and 2 fob girls noticed and giggled. I did it again. They laughed. I dragged Joe to their table and spoke. They said I wasn’t drunk. I certainly felt like shit. They wanted me to buy them drinks. Nope, no way I says. I told them they needed to buy me drinks. They agreed. Wow. A chick buying me drinks. There really is a man drought in Sydney.

No such thing as a free shot
Michelle, who was interested in me, bought us tequila shots. Cute koren girl didn’t want to talk to me. I choked on my tequila shot. The tequila went up my sinus and I was dribbling tequila out of my nose and mouth. A horrible stinging sensation all over. Yuck! The lights went on and we left. I got Michelle’s number, but she didn’t answer the next day. Totally got fob snobbed. unbelievable

Coda
We slept at Joe’s workplace and caught the 7am home.